To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

I see you are not answering any questions on what your salary is and if you work. Answer make up the shortfall yourself if you're not happy.

She said in her op that she earns the same as her husband, so it seems she does work and earns .

I don't see renting as that awful.

I found it fine when I was young. Athough tbf it was easier then. Sounds a lot more stressful nowadays. It's definitely awful when people are older or have DC, and have a need to be settled. People can't settle when private renting (social housing is different and provides security).

However many parents can't afford to help. DH and I hope we'll be able to help our DC when they're adults but we don't yet know if we'll be able to. OP's DH obviously feels unable to keep going at his job. Maybe it's more stressful than OP knows about or maybe he's just exhausted after years of working. OP can continue to work and help her DD, if she wants and is able to though.

I've said it on other threads but it can't be repeated enough. The real issue with housing is the need for more social housing. It would solve a lot of problems.

No , he’s not being selfish , leave him alone ffs .

Maybe she's not answering any of those questions because she gave you all that information in her very first post? How embarrassing for you.

OP, I think if this is important to you, you should be the one working for another year or two to give her the money.

This is a very strange post.

🍿 here to await more info on OP’s age and retirement plans and gifting plans.

Um I want to know about the 50k job that's an easy 9-4 as I'd quite like to work towards one...

Agree OP. Its nearly impossible to buy a house now without any help from parents. We bought our first home with little bit help from my MIL. Now me and my husband we are in our 40s and we bought a buy to let house, hoping when we sell it in the future, it will help both my sons to climb property ladder someday. I really scared both of my sons cannot afford to buy a house in this economy.

“Just like we all did”

No, it isn’t the same at all, it is much harder for young people to buy a house now than older generations. Much much harder. Spiralling house prices, wage stagnation, cost of living. And most of them won’t get to retire until they are late 60’s, probably 70’s.

I agree with you OP. I would definitely continue working, and I know my husband would too, to help our kids out. Anything else is very individualistic.

No, he shouldn’t keep working. Your adult children can save for their own bloody deposit.

Is this some sort of odd reverse? Are you the daughter?

Ironic that the surge in Boomer and Gen X BTLers is a part of what has fucked property affordability for people your sons’ ages…

*Femme2804 · Today 00:03

Agree OP. Its nearly impossible to buy a house now without any help from parents. We bought our first home with little bit help from my MIL. Now me and my husband we are in our 40s and we bought a buy to let house, hoping when we sell it in the future, it will help both my sons to climb property ladder someday. I really scared both of my sons cannot afford to buy a house in this economy*

Good grief - the cognitive dissonance of someone who’s bought a buy-to-let in addition to the house they live in bemoaning inflated house prices.

The mind boggles

You should continue working if your that bothered, why make him do it?! Seems rather selfish of you in relation to your husband, let him retire!

Or he can retire like he's perfectly entitled to and your daughter can earn the money herself like lots of adults do either without contribution from or with a smaller contribution from their parents.

Actually I think MN gospel is that even if parents give their kidneys to help out, it's not enough!

^^This!!

My Mum worked an extra two years beyond what she wanted to in order for them to have nice holidays. She got two years of retirement under Covid restrictions then enjoyed 6 months with my Dad retired too before she became ill and died suddenly. I’m glad those extra two years she worked weren’t for my benefit or I’d feel horrendously guilty about that.

Nobody is guaranteed a long retirement. As long as he can afford it, it’s up to your DH when he wants to retire.

I retired at 55, my son was renting. Bloody hell, should I have carried on working and given him all my money?

No. This has to be a reverse of some grabby entitled fully adult kid surely?

Yes. Did you own your property? Should have given him that too! Tut tut.

YABU OP. DD should simply give up avocados instead.

I retired five years ago a few days before my 58th birthday on voluntary early severance package. Not for one second have I been bored or depressed! No kids to feel guilty about either!

Why can't you gift DD the deposit or work till you 100 to buy her a diamond necklace?