To think it’s selfish for parents to retire early when their kids are renting?

[Lesbeavinu]

Dh has decided he is going to retire at 59. He has a great government pension and private pension/savings. He earns a decent £50k a year (same as me) and we have no mortgage.

I said that dh should continue working for another year or 18 months and gift the money to dd for a flat deposit.

This. 100%.

Reality is that in some areas it’s extremely difficult for young people to get a deposit together, it means people are paying mortgages into their 70’s because they are getting on the housing ladder so late.

Honestly yeah DH and I would put in a few extra years to get DC a deposit. Also means they are slightly less likely to boomerang back home.

And what is it that you do OP?

popcorn

I mean, it would certainly be a generous thing to do, but I think it’s the kind of thing he would have to think of on his own and truly want to do.

Be glad he’s retiring while he’s still healthy enough to enjoy retirement, OP. My dad is in his mid-70s with Parkinson’s disease and he still works.

If that's what you want to do, your choice. He doesn't and wants to retire, and can retire. I'd say it really isn't up to you, but assuming you're younger, if you'd like to do this, that's your choice. What's age do you plan your retire?

Is it really low stress work? Yes remote working is perhaps easier than commuting (I actually prefer my commuting days) but unless you shadow all of his work activity how could you know how stressful it is? I have days where I might look serene while WFH but I've been silently firefighting 500 emails and having to carefully negotiate with various parties to get a project signed off.

we gifted them money later as they did not ask or expect

so bloody British. Expecting js one thing, but what the hell is wrong with asking for the things you want/ need in life? I think our society would function a hella lot better if we taught our kids it’s ok to ask. (Then equally taught them it’s ok to hear/ say no).

(sorry a bit of a derail of thread topic).

Have my first biscuit. You have achieved peak MN @Lesbeavinu

The amount of people on this thread who are incapable of reading a really short OP is shocking! She clearly states that she also works and earns 50k, the same as her husband.

I am also amazed at the clueless people who retired in their 50s and don't understand the different financial situation that subsequent generations are in.

Why can’t you gift your salary if you feel that strongly about it?

How would you feel if he continues to work and gets a terminal diagnosis before he has chance to enjoy any kind of retirement?
We are going to have to work until the lunchtime on the day of our funerals just to keep ticking over but given the choice I would stop working right now (I am 40).
Through luck or management your husband has the option to get off the treadmill and you're calling him selfish for not further funding his adult daughter, I bet he feels great knowing his wife wants him to work endlessly to fund other adults 🙄
Your daughter will, I assume benefit from a generous inheritance when you are both gone, I don't think she's headed to the workhouse if your husband retires soon.

DS lives his own life like we did when we were younger, when we retired hasn't anything to do with his life, though maybe I should ask him for money to help with our retirement as he has more than us, surely it should work both ways.

Wtf?
Why on earth should he? Can't she save for her own deposit. You know, like many, many other adults have to do

So?

Trust me, when you retire after 45 years of working, you find plenty to do
In fact, not enough hours in the day!

Surely you should be pleased he wants to enjoy his life ahead and not be stuck working!

I don't think this posr has garnered quite the outrage expected!

Or, your children do what we did and save up themselves. Buy somewhere small and not exactly where they want to live and sell and buy for years till they get where they want to be. So many first time buyers I see now are going for three bedroom family homes. Start small. Do it themselves.

The joy of a government / public sector pension!

Every generation has its issues, yes lower house prices but also life lacked a lot of opportunities it does now.

Agree house prices have been a great investment for many people, but equally for many people they haven't been a good investment, or they've had to ride out negative equity, or be constrained to work in jobs or live in locations they didn't really like.

Many people now may have the opportunity to work fully remotely ....this means they can work from a beach somewhere beautiful whilst saving money and progressing career wise.

I'm sure they aren't stressing about not having their names on house deeds somewhere.

Many people prefer renting for the flexibility, only the UK has this ownership obsession.

There actually are ways around the issue - lower cost of living area, buying initially in an "undesirable" area and planning to move, getting a two bedroom and taking a lodger in one room. Using a well paid job as a means to an end to get enough payslips for a mortgage.

Everyone I know who really wanted to buy did....even with zero parental help, they had a plan, it may have taken a few years and some lean years but they did succeed (and not even in high powered jobs either).

(I could have built up a little investment portfolio if I put the time in, but honestly I'd find it boring! So I haven't).

If parents want to help their children out it's their choice, but it really doesn't seem something to stress over.

(I actually know several people who explicitly refused gifted deposits as they just didn't feel comfortable.

And some super affluent families who refused to give anything until their children had got to a certain professional and financial level themselves...they'd always host and feed and pay for education, but nothing beyond that).

@SplendidPendips - in fairness though- the post states he should work another year- makes no mention of if OP plans to do the same. If on 50K he isn't going to 'make' a house deposit with COL in an extra year of work. No mention of mentally or physically how he is, but an assumption he should work for another year, to give 20k (can't imagine much more than that) to a daughter whose age and income isn't mentioned. She can think it's a nice idea, but really it's entirely up to him, he can and wants to retire.

I would do it OP, me personally. I do not think you stop being a parent the moment they leave and life is getting tougher and tougher for them.
But you cannot force him in any way. Suggest, yes, why not?
He is rather young too, so at least he has health issues, he is going to get bored of it pretty quickly.

Or your dd can save money for a flat? I encouraged both of my parents to retire early. Their health and wellbeing was much more important than money for a deposit or anything else.

It's up to your DH, not you.

If your child wants to buy a property then I suggest they get saving.