Was this weird of me at work?

[Handsomesquidward]

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

It's not a normal interaction. If I get my hair cut I don't want people saying oh your hair looks nice I want them saying how is that pitch going for Friday. Nice work with the XYZ case.

Would have been creepy if you had silently gone upto her and started running your fingers through her hair whispering pretty to yourself yes. Paying someone a compliment is not creepy. Your coworker sounds jealous.

@Chanelbasketballandchain the comment referenced a personal appearance not a I animate object that is the key point.

I am not HR I was trained by state HR and this was clearly stated and was part of Irelands state employee EDI training for Directors . 🤷‍♀️

The more you post, the more you sound jealous 😂

Once again, getting compliments about appearance takes nothing from skills or professionalism. The stereotype of the "beautiful but clueless" should be long dead.

Compliments are lovely, especially to our fellow women!

I got told I looked like a young 32yo the other day, given I'm a 44 year old flump I appreciated it.

I don't know where you work, but people around me manage to do both.
It's actually more pleasant to put a casual sentence here and there. And my job is as corporate as you get.

If someone has nice hair or has made an effort to look nice it may not affect their work but I think it's nice to compliment them if they seem to have made an effort. There's a young lady near us has beautiful long red hair always immaculate it must take her ages to brush, if it were me I'd like to think it had been noticed.

I agree with PP. I don't think it's normal interaction with someone at work that I don't know. I wouldn't go to HR with it, but I would find it strange.

You said yourself she looked pleased by your compliment, ignore your other colleague.

I always compliment people. There’s so much negativity in this world, why not share a little positivity every day.

As a child barely anyone complimented me, so the few times people did really stick in my memory and make me smile when I think back to how that made me feel.

Im so proud that my children copy and compliment people too. Many years ago my 3/4 year old saw an old lady walking past her at the beach and my daughter said loudly “oh wow I love your flowery sandals so much, they are so pretty!” And honestly this lady looked like she’d won the lottery! It makes me smile whenever I think about it.

Not jealous. Just against the focus being on a woman's beauty instead of her achievements and calling her a girl.

Yes and it also leads to the feelings of discrimination from those with visible differences

The world would be a better place if we said nice things to each other often.

I tell my colleagues when they wear something nice. I know some people get embarassed by it so I dont speak to them anymore, I find this very very British, wanting people to notice you but QUIETLY without saying anything. What's the point lol.

I have colleagues in their 60s who still refer to themselves as the girls 🤣

You are bizarre to think it's not a normal interraction.

Would it be bad to have both, people complimenting both your work and something about you, as a person? Maybe wear a bag over your head next time to avoid peopel saying nice things to you.

It is absolutely, or should be, normal to compliment people about things like clothes, hair etc. I would not expect every colleague to say something every day but I see absolutely nothing wrong with an occasional comment.

I'm honestly wondering what HR would do if someone went to them and said 'Someone told me I looked pretty/they liked my hair in the toilets ."

I get occasional compliments from colleagues about my clothes, make up etc too.

Fine if they do it themselves

Who are 'we'?

Because in most cultures saying nice things to other is not weird. I wonder if it is not your stiff upbringing that makes you uneasy about hearing compliments?

@PenguinLord eh nope you are off track there. Always had loads of compliments still do, the difference is in work it is about my professional capacity not my hair I can sit on.

It isn't appropriate to comment on a others appearance in a professional setting. If creepy John can't say it neither can anyone else, simples

I don’t think it was weird, OP. I think it was very nice of you. The few times I’ve received compliments in my life still make me smile when I think back on them.

I agree with you that she is probably on the receiving end of cattiness here and there.

I'd a random colleague passes by and says something nice any you and you think it's wrong, it's your problem, not theirs, or maybe it's where you work, for which I'm sorry.

I just don't think they're mutually exclusive. Sarah from accounts can have beautiful hair yet also be highly competent in her role and equally complimented on her performance.

@PenguinLord it is literally one of the fundamentals of sexism and infantilism of women.it forms a full module on Ireland's EDI state training for Directors in the Public Sector so I will go with their researched peer reviewed approach.

I find it sad that a colleague doesn't understand that commenting on someone's appearance isn't appropriate anymore. Thankfully 99% of our staff got it.

Years ago I'd been dumped by someone I'd really fallen in love with and a woman stopped me and told me I was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen. Honestly I cannot say how much that compliment meant to me! Not creepy or weird at ALL your colleague is just being jealous.

@Handsomesquidward if you don't understand the difference between valuing appearance over a person's capacity then I am afraid there is too big a learning gap to be addressed in a thread.

It is actually quite disappointing to see so many women not understanding that appearance isn't success and comments on it are actually sexist.