Was this weird of me at work?

[Handsomesquidward]

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

Oh, yeah, it must be so tiresome to be beautiful 😂

I get occasional compliments at work on tops/dresses from other women - I work in a hospital and most other staff in our department are in uniform.

Also around being tanned in the summer as I have olive skin which tans easily.

in my 50s so all good as far as I’m concerned!

If you don't get it then you don't but making twattish comments isn't called for.

We're all coming at this from our own perspectives, our lived experiences and they're not going to be the same, are they? I took a colleague to grievance because he kept touching me. Being at a work event with him was excruciating. All he did was introduce me almost as a 'bit of fluff'. I knew those colleagues better than he did having worked with them for years. His comments of my ability and contribution to the business were that I 'looked a million dollars'.

If anybody perceives that as a compliment then so be it. I didn't hence the grievance. The workplace is somewhere that most women are at an immediate detriment purely because they are not men. It's not fair, it's not right and it's nearly always the case that the woman does the job better and is better qualified for it. Framing a compliment in a work setting isn't comparable with doing the same in a pub or supermarket or any other non-work arena.

It is always the person who 'doesn't want' who should prevail. Not just for this but for a host of other situations also. Things that other people want to do or say to other people are at their invitation. I know that complimenting women (particularly) can feel like such a non-event, it's a nice thing to do - and it is. If that person welcomes it. Many women do which is why this thread is popular but some women really don't like it.

For safety then, better to compliment where you know you really will make someone's day. If you're not sure and you batter on regardless and receive a jaded grimace in return, you'll know that they'd rather that you hadn't.

If you've never put a foot wrong in your life then you won't know what I'm talking about but, if you have ever committed a faux pas then perhaps you will understand.

You've muddled up 2 completely different things.

No one has said "she was an amazing student [because she worked so hard/ really understood the subject/ was so enthusiastic/ a pleasure to work with/ the kindest person I've ever met etc etc ] are wrong and shouldn't be said.

It's the "oh yes, she was an amazing student. She had fabulous Rapunzel like hair" which are the issue.

I also compliment men and boys a lot! They seem to like it just as much as women do, whether it be about their looks / clothes / work or whatever. Just my experience though.

Oh ffs. Can you not just accept some people DON'T WANT compliments on their appearance and yes It does get repetitive.

Yes! In fact I'd they'd focused on her hair it would probably make her feel like that was her only value and therefore more of a failure at uni. Its very sad

I get tired of saying thank you to unsolicited opinions on my looks

You're tired of people saying nice things to you? How often is it happening?

To those who hate it, maybe you could wear a badge? That way, people would stop. It's normal to compliment people, but if you want to opt out, make it known.

I would ADORE it if someone referred to me as a Barbie doll 😭I still remember my Auntie saying something similar when she commented on how teeny tiny my size 10 leather "bomber" jacket was, when I was about 19. It stuck with me all these years! No chance of anyone confusing me with one now, sadly 😅Horses for courses, I guess.

I don't want to opt out of someone's unwanted attention. I'm at my place of work, let me work.

What also irks me is that there's this idea that attention cannot be unwanted or it's fine because it's from another woman. I had to endure, in my 20s, a horrible older woman colleague who kept calling me "pretty" and telling me about her secual encounters (in detail, at work, but without anyone else around). She would then loudly wonder in front of others why I was single because I was, after all, so pretty. It was horrible, and I was so junior that I felt like I couldn't speak up. It was in the 00's when it was all just 'a bit of fun banter' but I used to curl up inside whenever I saw her. Not at all what the op said/did, but women can absolutely be totally inappropriate and just plain predatory (again, not at all directed at op. But just to show a seemingly nice public comment isn't always that nice)

Dear diary,
Today someone at work told someone else their hair was great, someone else complimented someone's shoes, I told someone I liked their makeup, we also discussed a colleague who is a really talented cake baker who did a lovely cake a few weeks ago. We all had an amazing day, feel sad for all of you les misérables out there who would be upset at any of that and who will never experience a joy of other's kindness because you think compliments belittle you if they are not about your superb powerpoint presentations.

Don't be silly Penguinlord, no-one uses PowerPoint anymore

I use PowerPoint! 😀Primary school.

I get tired of saying thank you to unsolicited opinions on my looks

Do you find general interactions tough also?

someone holds open door - tiresome to say thanks

someone passes you a coffee - tiresome to say thanks

someone asks how your weekend was - tiresome to say good thanks

This is just part and parcel of normal social exchange. Say thanks and move on. Or alternatively ask them not to comment on your looks. And move on.

handwringing about the awfulness of a well intended gesture is really what is tiresome.

I don’t think people commenting on how a woman looks is part of normal social exchange, we’ve been brainwashed to think it’s acceptable but it isn’t.

Comparing apples with, well something that bears as much resemblance to an apple as, say a prawn cocktail is really tiresome.

The examples you've listed are nothing like the sort of pass remarkable comment which is under discussion here.

The examples you've listed are nothing like the sort of pass remarkable comment which is under discussion here.

Nothing alike?! It's a compliment, not a bomb threat. Of course it's a normal social interaction

Do you often have difficulty comparing like with like?

The examples you listed are absolutely nothing like "ooh you've got beautiful hair"

Google would seem to suggest that many employers don't think it is either.

This is one of dozens of articles which don't consider that comments about personal appearance are acceptable.

Do you often have difficulty comparing like with like?

Do you? You seem to find the idea of compliments very alien. Yes, it's part of normal social interaction.

People like people who make them feel good. People like to talk to each other, and make other people happy.

The examples you've listed are nothing like the sort of pass remarkable comment which is under discussion here

They’re similar in brevity, intent and pertenece and as the many posts on MN will attest, people also object to having doors held open and being asked about their weekends.

but they are whether you like it or not part of normal social exchange. To declare having to thank people for compliments as tiresome is really overstating the effort involved in engaging in the cultural contract.

Once again I am convinced that the Venn diagram of people complaining about this nonsense and the myriad posters wondering why they have no friends is a circle.

I received a compliment yesterday from a stranger, someone I pass daily and say morning to, but we don't talk or know each other. He said that I looked really good! It made my day. I'm still smiling about it now. I've lost over 3 stone and no one has even acknowledged it! I automatically thought of your post. I came back to say, giving genuine compliments really does make people's day. It's lovely and kind and costs nothing.

I thin it's the opposite, you have been brainwashed into thinking a normal social exchange (men also can get complimentes is sexist and weird. It's a way to severe relationships, keep your head down and sit in your little cubicle, only interacting talking about work. A little sad.