Was this weird of me at work?

[Handsomesquidward]

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

I agree.

It's sad that people find compliments creepy. "your hair looks amazing" is totally what I would say even at work.

She will have had to put a lot of work into having such long hair so it's not even like it's "just something she was born with" really

It's not inappropriate and complementing someone on something like that is nice.

I get told by colleagues they like my hair and it looks beautiful/gorgeous/etc whenever I change it up. It's nice to know they've noticed

I receive compliments from other women at work quite often. It’s really nice as I do make an effort with the things I’m complimented on (outfit/make up style etc). It’s a lot of effort to maintain the hairstyle you’ve described and I’m sure you made her day 😊Your friend/colleague is making you second guess yourself sounds like a drama llama. Does she also make issues out of other non-issues? 🙄

Yes, but not someone at work you’ve never spoken to before and don’t know.

Generally we raise people to not comment on another's appearance but their qualities.

I don't like people commenting on my appearance and wouldn't like it from either sex in a professional environment.

oh gosh, why are people always so depressing.

It's a compliment! And it's lovely to see women making other women feel good about themselves. Not creepy at all I would have been so chuffed if I were her.

Saying 'I love your hair' is great, but for some reason saying 'you are/look beautiful' can sometimes sound a bit off.
I'm not sure why, other than it's the sort of thing a creepy man might say. I guess it could be seen as unwanted flirting?
I'm not saying you were being creepy. It's great to compliment someone. Maybe make it more about the specific trait, like 'oh, I like/love your hair/top/trainers' etc rather than it being centred around their perceived physical attractiveness.

But the person you said it to was fine with it so no harm done.

It's a strange opener to someone you have never met before at work. It does sound more like an exchange in the pub at night, not in the office.

I'd probably lead with "How are you settling in to the team?" before commenting on her beauty.

If you already knew her, I think it would be more normal to say something like "Your hair/dress look nice today", but not to someone you just met at work.

My ego likes a compliment from another woman...

I was wearing a pair shoes recently that I thought were in-between funky or frumpy and a stunningly styled woman at a meeting, stopped me and wow'd at my shoes. We had a discussion on funky or frumpy. Everytime I wear them, I think of her kindness, she never had to say what she was thinking.

I think a hair compliment is fine and sounds like it made her feel good. It's not personal/overstepping in the way that, say, a comment like 'Have you lost weight?' would be in the workplace.

1. She was a young girl? Really? I'm sure she sees herself as a professional woman.
2. Compliment people on something other than their appearance in the workplace.

So yeah I'd think you were sexist and infantilising if I'd heard that.

It still could be with a woman doing it

I know.. so many miserable people. I always compliment people either on style, looks or achievements. I think an awful lot of people have big hang ups about themselves and if I think someone looks nice or has done something good I’ll cheerfully tell them.

Achievements fine. But there's no place for focusing on a women's appearance/hair etc in a professional setting. It should be about their work not how nice they did their hair this morning.

I walked past a woman at work I’ve never spoken to and she started to ‘explain her lateness’ none of my business, but I said, ‘I was thinking about how lovely your dress was, not that you were late for work’ and she looked really happy!!

Sometimes a compliment is needed!

Thankfully we can manage to be successful professionally AND have nice accessories or nice hair.

Having beautiful hair or being pretty doesn't impact anyone's ability to do their job. Haven't we moved away from that by now?

i compliment people's clothes, i suppose that's different but i think it was nice your complimented her hair.

@Chanelbasketballandchain em nothing depressing about good HR practice. If you don't understand why we don't comment on someone's appearance you may want to engage with some upskilling.

Because if it is creepy from John age 50 why on earth would it be less creepy from Joan aged 50? If you start to pull that apart and not identify the blatant bias that is concerning.

Women don't owe anyone pretty.

Absolutely have nice hair, be beautiful. But why focus your compliments on it? And referring to a grown woman as a girl.. its odd

Exactly!

I suppose, going forward, you might consider if you might be seen to be "cornering" someone by choosing to say it in the toilet. However, your intentions were lovely, and please don't let this colleague's unkind comment, stop you being kind and complimentary to others, in or out of work.

actually "john age 50" can comment on my handbag without being creepy.

A woman can tell me "I like your coat" without being creepy either.

You are giving such a bad name to HR, and it's frustrating we have to deal with people like you too often, you are so much more of a nuisance than people having normal interraction.

That does not seem inappropriate to me in an office environment. If you went on and on about her appearance it might be different. A compliment like that is not overstepping at all.