Was this weird of me at work?

[Handsomesquidward]

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

I never said I couldn't?

I just don't care. I love compliments.

It's not creepy in your opinion.

And it's splitting hairs as to whether "you are beautiful" is any different from "you look beautiful"

I like compliments about things I've done - and that includes my choice of clothes.

I hated compliments about my face or my figure. They had nothing to do with anything I'd done and were completely meaningless.

Unless you made the dress yourself, I can't see how it's something you've done. It's just as seemingly vapid as complimenting your hair

Being good looking isn't everything in life, but I don't see how it's meaningless. How can you not feel good i cannot understand

I would find this quite odd in a work context to be honest. I do find it a bit creepy. I would certainly give compliments to male and female colleagues that I know like "nice shirt" or "your hair looks nice" if they've had a cut. But randomly approaching someone to say they look beautiful is not something I would do, and I think I'd be a bit weirded out if it happened to me. Not a big deal I'm sure, but yes I do find it slightly creepy.

@IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle
“And it's splitting hairs as to whether "you are beautiful" is any different from "you look beautiful"”
No - that just shows that one is unable, as quite a lot of other people these days are, to detect any nuance in the spoken word, which also displays a lack of grace.
Being willing to interpret what someone says to you is governed by A) how they say it and B) whether you decide that they are being genuinely complimentary or not.
Those that always take the negative view, usually lack grace.

Of course dressing well or stylishly requires effort. Being pretty doesn't.

I didn't say being pretty is meaningless. It's very far from being meaningless given the esteem society and some posters on here hold it in. It's meaningless to me.

There is no difference between the 2. Both are judgemental comments about physical appearance.

Genetics can only do so much, hair that is both very long and in very good condition takes effort and sometimes a fair bit of expense to maintain compared to shorter hair or very long hair that is "allowed" to get a bit dry and scraggly.

So I think a) it falls into making a compliment about a style choice and b) many women with such hair would like to be complimented on it.

I agree with this very much. Posters accusing others who don't appreciate comments, as being 'graceless' are demonstrating this classification perfectly themselves. People are allowed to find different things acceptable or not. Nobody is telling others that they must not enjoy receiving compliments, they are simply saying that they themselves do not like them for x, y, z reason. I've complimented many handbags/shoes but not somebody's physical appearance. That's exceedingly personal unless you know them really well, well enough not to need to ask if 'they mind'.

Telling women that they MUST accept whatever comments somebody chooses to make at them - or they are <insert insult of choice here> - are behaving in the same creepy way that we warn our children against and that's not ok.

Make/take compliments all you like, I'm sure most of them hit target, but just know that some women don't necessarily share your view and will not be 'thrilled', just resigned to the 'assessment' that other people feel entitled to make of them.

Telling women that they MUST accept whatever comments somebody chooses to make at them - or they are <insert insult of choice here> - are behaving in the same creepy way that we warn our children against and that's not ok.

It's not about controlling women it's just basic manners. Your hair, outfit or eyelashes are not an intimate part of the body... say thank you and move on

Not your call, Pillock. If you choose to make these comments then that's up to you but it's not up to you how they are received and nor are you entitled to be thanked for them.

The fact that you feel able to determine what are and what are not acceptable parts of the body to comment on says a lot. Many men do this too.

Wtf is wrong with your colleague. I have long hair too and when I get complimented on it, it makes my day! It's not weird at all.

Is this reply a joke?

Dictating to women that they must graciously and gratefully accept uninvited comments about their physical appearance isn't trying to control behaviour?

Actually Pillock the same applies to men. It's not your call to demand anyone thanks you for your uninvited comments on their physical appearance.

Not everything is feminism. You're entitled to have your unconventional opinion but It's just manners to say thank you if someone says something nice to you. Your think piece is not required.

Imagine having such a strong opinion on complements. It must be exhausting day to day

Don't know where you work but perfectly normal Everywhere I've worked for last 25 years.
I’d find it odd not to compliment someone who had their hair cut
you may not like it, ( that’s perfectly fine, tell people you don’t like it) but don’t make out its abnormal.

In some cases. Some can be medical. I had lovely long hair ( even after colouring) then i got put on certain medication and it destroyed my hair.
my hair refuses to grow longer than my shoulders and its perm damaged ( even when it grows from the roots :-( )
Can’t even bare to look at my nails…
i envy people with long hair and nails!
i’d certainly compliment someone with either! ( secretly wish it were me!)

It isn't actually anything to do with feminism. It's the imposition of one person's views on another and the expectation that the recipient ought to be grateful.

You keep banging on about manners/ being rude. It works both ways.

But that's very ifyen sir the culture. Being told to keep you head down and not showing emotions, pretty sad really.

Sorry, I didn't understand the first part. But it's actually not at all about emotion. It's about subjective opinions that are ok in moderation at work place (like "nice jacket") but not when it comes to personal remit (like "beautiful"). Showing emotion is fine, but unless you are 100% sure that your compliments are well-recieved, it's best to keep them to yourself. It's really basic EDI stuff too at most work places

I agree with this. I don't want to feel like I have to say "oh thank you" when someone compliments me. It gets tiresome having people think I want their approval of my looks.

It's not fair to put that on someone

I get tired of saying thank you to unsolicited opinions on my looks

Sorry, sausage fingers and bad autocorrect.
I think it's a cultural thig in the UK- and some other countries where corporate culture is high and people see perfectly normal reactions as inappropriate because we're told it's important to be reserved and ashamed if someone compliments you.
Keeping things to yourself is uber British, not saying anything nice because OMG someone may be offended if you say they look nice- better let people think they look shit and keep your good thoughts to yourself, in your head, where they are utterly useless.

Reminded me how at uni one of my friends was depressed she was doing badly, dropped out, and the next year one of my lecturers was like, oh no, she left? She was such an amazing student. Shame none of this came out of her mouth when my friend was still around. We need to say nice things to each other, it should be a norm, not exceptions.

If people find compliments that embarassing it ruins their day, they need to work on their self esteem.