Was this weird of me at work?

[Handsomesquidward]

I'm a straight woman, I work in a semi-formal office environment. We have a young girl there who has beautiful long, blonde Rapunzel hair and who is just beautiful in general.
I haven't really spoken to her as she's in another department. I saw this girl and I just said 'Hi I hope you don't mind me saying, just wanted to say I really love your hair, you look beautiful!'
She seemed really happy I'd said it and appreciated it.
My other colleague was in the toilets too and had heard, she told me it was really weird and creepy id said that.
I feel so embarrassed now and wonder if I shouldn't have said anything. I was just trying to be nice, I imagine some women would be very jealous of her and she gets some cattiness, I don't think I said anything inappropriate.
Just wondered what others think? Surely it's a sad world where you can't compliment people.

I haven't said you can't . But it's hard when people you might have to fire at some point start telling you you're beautiful in the loos. It's weird

I think it's weird and creepy. And it isn't women supporting women.

I'll expect my P45 tomorrow!

I will randomly tell people if they smell nice and ask which scent it is. @IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle what a shame you feel that a nice comment which came from a nice place is negative and weird. Says more about you than op.

Maybe they think you just can't concentrate until you've told her her hair looks nice 🙄

I think you're OK as depressingly this sort of thing seems acceptable in a lot of work places as they are stuck in the 00s

Lol. I asked because it just know that all the weirdos here saying you can never be kind to someone 'incase you fire them in the future' and making excuses for their blatant jealousy are horrible and very judgemental of anyone stunning who joins their team. See it time and time again. We had a real bully on our team once who hid all of her nastiness behind 'professionalism'. Everyone could see through it.

OP said 'you look beautiful'. To me, there is a subtle difference between saying someone looks beautiful and saying that they are beautiful. I can't fully explain the difference, but I think there is one.

OP how would it seem if you said this comment to a young man or you was a man and said it to the young woman?

Colleague is odd.

She sounds immature.

If I see a female in the shops for example and she has a nice dress, I will let them know. Compliments are lovely 😍.

I don't get a lot of them from strangers, but when another female comes up and says they like my hair, or my outfit, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

I have taught my daughter to accept compliments graciously as when we compliment friends or family on for example, and nice dress, we have a tendency to say 'oh it was only a tenner from Tesco' or 'ive had it for ages', instead of just saying 'ah thank you, I appreciate that'

I am all for the giving and the receiving of compliments OP.

You have done nothing wrong

@ByNavyOtter

Don't add unable to not use addressed insults to another poster to them.

Totally irrelevant 🙄

No menz were harmed in the giving of this compliment

If I get my hair cut I don't want people saying oh your hair looks nice I want them saying how is that pitch going for Friday. Nice work with the XYZ case

at my work, if you’re there it’s a given that you’re doing “nice” work. To be told that I’d done a “good job” would be infantilising - of course I bloody did I’m a professional woman at the top of my game.

I don’t need to dress well to do my job, it’s not part of the skill set for which I’m employed, but style is a skill that is worth complimenting IMO.

I bet that unexpected compliment really made her day, ywnu.

What are you on about?

My point is that people like you are the dangerous one's who bully beautiful women in the workplace who take pride in their appearance and undermine any of their achievements, citing that it's because they look a certain way or have preferential treatment because of how they present themselves- even go as far as to spread rumours or assume that they only get far because men appreciate their looks. Its hidden as concern for fairness and equality in the work place being maintained but actually its a subtle way to bully other women that threaten you to conform to a level that no longer does. It's women that make issues like you who goad beautiful women with highly intellectual conversations in their presence so if they can't or don't join in you can prove your point that beautiful = vacous and further reinforce your own self reassurance that you are better at your job. It's women like you who say things like 'I'd rather read a book than put all that on my face everyday.' Its boring, it's jealousy and it's obvious. Goodbye :)

There is a big difference between being nasty to someone because they are aesthetically pleasing to the eye and not making compliments about their appearance. There's a neutral.

How do you know that poster isn't really beautiful looking and fed up of people commenting on it while they are doing their job. No one considers that angle of it

You have no idea. But carry on with your overactive imagination.

There is a huge difference between asking about a nice perfume or complimenting clothes and passing judgement about physical appearance.

It’s nice to pay someone a compliment. The lady at the pharmacy counter was beaming like a Cheshire Cat the other day when I said how much I liked her perfume 🤷‍♀️ It’s just a nice thing to do.

I think it's fine but my workplace is pretty... Laid back
My colleague has commented a dress really suits me before. My boss tends to stick with "is it dress down? I didn't realise" or "are you off to an interview?"

You’re not creepy at all. I make it my mission to bolster women if I admire something about them. We’re all run down so frequently, it makes a nice change.

You don't like rules you reference to posters as weird due to holding an alternative view. That isn't in line with the rules on MN so I suggest you edit before it's reported.

And again to be clear I am a professional most would say successful and senior management level. I don't bully anyone. I don't treat people different due to their personal appearance.

That is actually the core point of my posts which you have spectacularly not realised it seems.

You appear to not get the irony of women treating each other professionally, communicating professionally. You appear to be threatened by this. So I can only apologize because I presumed you had the capacity to understand. 🤷‍♀️

Can you not see the difference between asking about a nice perfume and making judgemental comments about physical appearance?

It's really unlikely given what I've observed of people like this in the workplace. The thing is, the poster is assuming that recognising beauty is unprofessional. Therein lies the danger as it really, really undermines women who attract such compliments and reduces them to the vacous vessel these sort of posters so badly want them to be as this is better than just accepting they can have it all. I don't know if they even recognise it in themselves but I bet they can place someone in their mind who they have stereotyped as beautiful and therefore less committed or less able than they are because they don't bother with 'all that'. Some even go the extra mile and suggest these women are only EVER noted for their beauty and god forbid they have a male manager as they then assume that there's a dolly bird / male dominated culture in the workplace that doesn't exist, it's their insecurities running away with them.

Ahem... I'm a "people like this in the workplace" in that I agree that appearanced based compliments aren't professional.

I'm not stupid enough to hold them against the recipient as I've been in that boat myself.