To complain about “gender identity” question on a registration form

[Manhere2024]

Man here. I just tried to fill in a form sent out by a charity, but one of the questions was:

“Is your gender identity the same as the gender you were assigned at birth?”

I tried ignoring it, but it’s not possible to submit the form without answering this question.

So I emailed them saying that I don’t believe in gender identity theory, & it’s discriminatory for them not to give an option for those of us who are gender critical. I have asked if they can change the form, or handle my registration in another way.

I think they’ll be surprised, and perhaps I’ve embarrassed myself. But I won’t go along with something I consider to be harmful and wrong.

AIBU? What will likely happen next?

Whatever

it still got changed

All you had to do was say yes and move on and respect some people will say no.

@KarenOH I’m not bothered whether or not they “give a shiny shit” as you so sweetly put it. The fact that they’ve had to take time out of their day to read it is enough for me. It’ll slow them down doing the other ridiculous stuff they would no doubt be doing.

Yes, and it would be very bad survey planning to have a question about religion that only gave the following options as an answer:
a) Christian
b) Muslim
thereby excluding Hindus, Jews, Sikhs and atheists (and everyone else who is not Christian or Muslim)
Don’t know how people can’t see this 🤪

It doesn't help at all. And you know it!

Exactly.

Also if you want to collect statistics whether someone is living as thier natal gender really can make a big difference.

There would be absolute outrage here if for example crime statistics only looked at the lived gender identity of an individual.

Gender critical can’t have it both ways. Trans people exist and have every right to exist.

The vast majority of posters on this thread have said they are ‘happy’ to have a question on gender but it should have a box for ‘do not have a gender’

those people having a go at them for requesting this are the bigots

if this was reversed and a trans or non binary person were requesting an option for them then i can guarantee that the words ‘pathetic’ and ‘get over it’ would not be used by those people

its incredibly hypocritical

This only works if you believe in gender identity.

Well, I’m female and if a charity couldn’t accept that, I’d not be getting involved with them. 🙄

no one has a problem with people saying no

they have a problem with

yes

or no

they would rather there was a yes and a no and a further operation to explain that they don’t have a gender/don’t believe in it/ would rather not say

Trans people exist and have every right to exist.

No one cares if trans people exist or not but no one has to believe in an ideology if they don't want to. The form should've had an option to say 'I don't believe in gender identity' and no one is assigned a gender at birth so at least get it factually right if it's going on a document.

You mean the person paid to deal with customer service queries and not the webmaster or senior management team who design the questionnaires? Ok. Nice one! Bet that staff member is gonna go home and think about it all evening.

As long as you were polite, remembering that the person you emailed is very unlikely to be the person who put the form and its requirements into place, it's reasonable. Having that kind of feedback can be part of making better forms, as others said.

I generally just use 'prefer not to say' or just stop as I often don't have the energy for it, though I did make a complaint at a conference that required titles, gender, gender identity information, pronouns, on and on - it was ridiculous and was an issue for many members from other cultures with other gender systems trying to navigate this jargon.

The queer and trans community is incredible, beautiful and resilient but I’m genuinely sorry there are people that think we’re all out to sabotage life as we know it or whatever.

Communities. Plural. With a wide range of opinions and perspectives. Part of the current problem is this urge to shove people of vaguely similar traits into the same community like we're a hive mind with the same experiences and risks.

Experiencing gender dysphoria does not mean someone thinks they have a gender identity. Being more comfortable presenting as the other sex doesn't mean someone thinks they have a gender identity. Many of us don't believe in innate identity. Some of think the German academics who developed the trans/cis binary who were only looking into putting people into more boxes by sexed behaviour the same as they were doing about race in what we now call scientific racism. There are a lot of views out there.

Innate identity as a concept has been debated since the oldest Vedic texts. It, like gender identity, Gender identity is a hypothesis around sense of self. It's largely non-falsifiable - it can't really be disproven, we each take it on perspective. Generation hypothesis is similar - it's great for catchy headlines, but means little in the real world. Even the Pew Research Center has pretty much announced it's mostly bullshit. "Gen Z"/those born near the end of the '90s and through the '00s have a wide range of opinions. Some are urgent to be good, some are sick to their back teeth of people asking them about gender identity if they put a toe out of the gender norm box. Most of the ones I know absolutely want nothing to do with being boxed as queer or trans - they just want to be comfortable individuals and get on with things.

To be fair I would prefer they didn't bring which particular version of sky fairy I might or might not believe in either. Knowing how I choose to dress or which books of fiction I believe in is no more relevant than asking me favourite colour.

But we shouldn't have to lie on forms to be allowed access to services.

And there speaks the voice of reason 😍

What is your sex? M/F. That's all that's needed. I'm female. And pretty pissed off that there isn't a box for declaring what football team I support. Now that would make me feel all warm and included.

The problem with answering yes, is that you are saying that you believe in gender stereotypes.

The problem with answering no is that it means that you are trans (even if you don't believe in gender identity) and that you still believe in gender stereotypes.

I filled in a form recently (can’t remember what for)and the options were ‘do you identify as male or female’ that was it! I was 🤬

I genuinely don’t understand what you mean by lie?

@KarenOH if enough people object then a pattern is noticed, and change might occur, as happened where a previous poster worked. And if not, then it might make one person think. History has taught us that it’s always worth pushing back against madness, however small and insignificant we may be, and however much people choose to ignore us. We have to start somewhere.

Oh dear oh dear, I have rarely seen a post so unintentionally ironic. Arf.

Oooh, you know what? I probably haven't. I'm just off to find a private spot to have a look 🤣

I don't

Obviously trans people exist and no one here has suggested otherwise. The issue is that the form (and some comments here) don't allow space for people without a gender identity to exist and denies access to them, whether those people are gender critical or not, trans or not (there are gender critical trans people, too), or simply don't have a gender identity for whatever reason.

As others have pointed out, it's equivalent to assuming all humans are born into a religion and asking whether they still identify with their birth religion, giving no options for people not born into any religion at all or for people who are undecided or who want to keep that information private.

Yes, the gender of an adult human male. The sex is still "male". It doesn't change to "man".