Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it was obvious they were for the kids??

711 replies

Birump · 01/06/2024 09:13

DS is having a little play date today, low key birthday “party” but DS doesn’t really do parties so it’s more of a gloried play date.
Yesterday I did some baking … 8 sausage rolls, 8 scotch eggs, 8 jam slags and 8 chocolate brownies.

Came down this morning and most of it is gone, I text DH asking if he’d touched the baking and he said yes, he’d taken it for work.

im fuming, isn’t it fucking obvious that they were for the kids for today?? He’s insisting that it was not obvious. This is not the first time he’s done something like this.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Voyage34 · 08/06/2024 20:03

sorry for the poor spelling have UV retina damage ,due to being involved in Civil Engineering 4 best part of 35 yrs till the Big E got me!,so sorry once again.Jon.

Sweden99 · 08/06/2024 20:09

@Voyage34 The OP's husband acted very poorly. That does not mean you get to be a special husband for doing the minimum.

Spottingtwerps · 08/06/2024 21:15

Why would a grown man want to do anything to spoil or disrupt his own child's birthday celebration? Annoying his wife into the bargain. What a self centered arse.

SheeraPower · 08/06/2024 21:28

Typical male thing, they just don’t think.

Sweden99 · 08/06/2024 21:30

SheeraPower · 08/06/2024 21:28

Typical male thing, they just don’t think.

That lets him off.

SheeraPower · 08/06/2024 22:11

Of course it doesn’t let him off but that’s how they are. They don’t think about others just themselves. Clear enough? Men are idiots. Clearer???

Bellyblueboy · 08/06/2024 22:13

SheeraPower · 08/06/2024 21:28

Typical male thing, they just don’t think.

But they do! Men don’t have lower intelligence than women. Please don’t make these silly excuses.

I remember my dad claiming he couldn’t iron. He had a complex job and worked with his hands yet his ten year old daughter had to stand for hours ironing his work shirts because this simple task was somehow beyond him.

This is called weaponsied incompetence.

If this man is so thick he can’t figure out party food might be for his child’s party THAT DAY, then he isn’t intelligent enough to hold down a job or function in normal society.

howfartospar · 08/06/2024 22:17

If he's done something like this before I'd have put a sign on it saying do not touch!

CatamaranViper · 08/06/2024 23:20

Bellyblueboy · 08/06/2024 22:13

But they do! Men don’t have lower intelligence than women. Please don’t make these silly excuses.

I remember my dad claiming he couldn’t iron. He had a complex job and worked with his hands yet his ten year old daughter had to stand for hours ironing his work shirts because this simple task was somehow beyond him.

This is called weaponsied incompetence.

If this man is so thick he can’t figure out party food might be for his child’s party THAT DAY, then he isn’t intelligent enough to hold down a job or function in normal society.

Show quote history

I've had to use that before on my dad. He always claimed he couldn't work the washing machine but could use a load of electric tools, rewire plugs etc. I took all his tools off him because if he couldn't figure out how to pop a washing tab in and turn a dial, then he definitely couldn't handle a mitre saw. He was raging but fuck that!

DH001 · 09/06/2024 05:28

Get over yerself… just make some more… bloody women, always moaning!

Laurmolonlabe · 09/06/2024 07:32

I didn't realise unmarried men were allowed on Mumsnet.

MinnieMountain · 09/06/2024 07:48

Who’s going to check @Laurmolonlabe ? Anyway, I expect DH001 was being silly.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/06/2024 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/06/2024 08:31

SheeraPower · 08/06/2024 22:11

Of course it doesn’t let him off but that’s how they are. They don’t think about others just themselves. Clear enough? Men are idiots. Clearer???

You're missing the word 'some' here. My Dad wouldn't have done this. My husband, son, brother, nephew and all the other men I know well wouldn't have done this. Only a totally self-obsessed numpty would do this.

LeopardsDontChangeTheirSpots · 09/06/2024 08:58

Also have an OH who helps himself to baked things (but wouldn't in this scenario or he would at least fix the issue).
If he has a habit of taking stuff to work without asking I'd be inclined to make some more and add chilli oil, or garlic or something unpleasant that will not be obvious until bitten. I'd hide the ones I'd made but leave the 'experimental' ones obvious. And then I'd wait....
And I'd probably do it several times and randomly too until the lesson is learned.
Yes. It's petty, but sometimes communication doesn't seem to sink in.

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/06/2024 09:32

howfartospar · 08/06/2024 22:17

If he's done something like this before I'd have put a sign on it saying do not touch!

@howfartospar

do you not think she’s other stuff to be doing other than making signs for her greedy husband ?

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/06/2024 09:33

DH001 · 09/06/2024 05:28

Get over yerself… just make some more… bloody women, always moaning!

@DH001

haha

VoiceOfReason3 · 09/06/2024 10:57

Whilst your husband was a little unthoughtful and arguably selfish to take some of the baking, why didn't you make a few extra for his lunch and tell him you had. That would have been an incredibly nice thing to do that wouldn't have taken anymore time. There's an argument that you have also been a little selfish and unthoughtful here. Also posting a relatively trivial personal issue on a public forum in order that your anger gets justified by other people with confirmation bias is not really the best way to go about things and is rather unfaithful to your relationship. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if your husband took to forums to embarrass you every time you make a mistake

TheLadyOfTheFlowers · 09/06/2024 11:09

why didn't you make a few extra for his lunch and tell him you had also known as "enabling" his selfish behaviour

That would have been an incredibly nice thing to do yes OP, #bekind ... as well as planning the children's party, organising who is coming, getting the place ready, cooking for the kids etc etc - "think of the children little man, poor darling"

just off to barf at the rest of @VoiceOfReason3 's post 😂

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/06/2024 11:10

VoiceOfReason3 · 09/06/2024 10:57

Whilst your husband was a little unthoughtful and arguably selfish to take some of the baking, why didn't you make a few extra for his lunch and tell him you had. That would have been an incredibly nice thing to do that wouldn't have taken anymore time. There's an argument that you have also been a little selfish and unthoughtful here. Also posting a relatively trivial personal issue on a public forum in order that your anger gets justified by other people with confirmation bias is not really the best way to go about things and is rather unfaithful to your relationship. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if your husband took to forums to embarrass you every time you make a mistake

Good grief. Voice of Reason? I think not.

Bellyblueboy · 09/06/2024 11:11

VoiceOfReason3 · 09/06/2024 10:57

Whilst your husband was a little unthoughtful and arguably selfish to take some of the baking, why didn't you make a few extra for his lunch and tell him you had. That would have been an incredibly nice thing to do that wouldn't have taken anymore time. There's an argument that you have also been a little selfish and unthoughtful here. Also posting a relatively trivial personal issue on a public forum in order that your anger gets justified by other people with confirmation bias is not really the best way to go about things and is rather unfaithful to your relationship. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if your husband took to forums to embarrass you every time you make a mistake

I think this is must be satire!

Women know your place😂😂😂

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 09/06/2024 12:22

Over a week later, lots of replies, this thread is still going and...
the Op @Birump didn't come back !

Allshallbewell2021 · 09/06/2024 12:27

This thread is so resilient!

Classic MN

Spottingtwerps · 09/06/2024 12:54

VoiceOfReason3 · 09/06/2024 10:57

Whilst your husband was a little unthoughtful and arguably selfish to take some of the baking, why didn't you make a few extra for his lunch and tell him you had. That would have been an incredibly nice thing to do that wouldn't have taken anymore time. There's an argument that you have also been a little selfish and unthoughtful here. Also posting a relatively trivial personal issue on a public forum in order that your anger gets justified by other people with confirmation bias is not really the best way to go about things and is rather unfaithful to your relationship. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if your husband took to forums to embarrass you every time you make a mistake

What a counsel of perfection you preach? In order to avoid a husband's future thoughtlessness the wife should make 'extra', so said husband doesn't take what there is for his own child's birthday celebration?

The time, effort, planning, purchasing of ingredients etc. It could all have taken more time and effort and why in addition to doing all the planning and preparation should OP be thinking of what kind and thoughtful things she should be doing for her husband? Where's his kindness and thoughtfulness in this? What a saint you must be, with all the time and money in the world.

Sillysausage65 · 09/06/2024 13:00

Can i just say, I am in adoration of the term 'Jam Slags' and will forever call them that now