To think it was obvious they were for the kids??

[Birump]

DS is having a little play date today, low key birthday “party” but DS doesn’t really do parties so it’s more of a gloried play date.
Yesterday I did some baking … 8 sausage rolls, 8 scotch eggs, 8 jam slags and 8 chocolate brownies.

Came down this morning and most of it is gone, I text DH asking if he’d touched the baking and he said yes, he’d taken it for work.

im fuming, isn’t it fucking obvious that they were for the kids for today?? He’s insisting that it was not obvious. This is not the first time he’s done something like this.

I remember that thread. All those ‘ just make some more biscuits OP’ comments made me feel MN had been infiltrated by the Stepford wives!

I do think what OPs H in this thread has done is a level up from that though. It’s fucking disgraceful to eat your own child’s birthday party food.

It's like a worse version of men who take stuff that is for their kids' lunchboxes.

There's always a fair number of people who say "What's the big deal? He was just hungry. Buy more". But there isn't always the money to buy more and, even if there is, that's a fat lot of good at 7am in the morning when you're packing the lunchbox and you don't have anything for your DC to eat. In these circumstances, I've found that the best thing to do is to walk out of the house and leave the offender to get said child to school and prepare some kind of lunch, even if it makes them late for work.

Agree @fiftiesskin - its more shit than the other shit, but still same shit.

It's been going on since I joined MN so 20 years - always you get a significant number of posters going on about poor hungry men. Unsettling.

I'm actually all for women leaving and finding peace within themselves without a partner. OP clearly doesn't have to stay in any relationship she's not happy with, but what would be the point in me telling her to LTB when plenty of other people have already said they would?

If you've managed to find a man that does actually hold consideration for anyone else, especially their wives and children, then please do tell us where to find them. Because a lot of us out here are having to play mum AND dad due to selfishness and laziness.

We need a pic of the jam slag … unless that is Mr Arsehole has taken them all

Fucking hell. He can bring them back or not come home, surely!! You’d be furious!! Tell him you’ll be going past a very expensive cafe if he’s not home in an hour with everything, and he can find himself somewhere else to sleep. Who deliberately fucks up their child’s party??

Please may I have the recipe for jam slags?! 🤣 Hope you ds has a lovely birthday!

He took food out of your children’s mouths and you still call him your husband? So, you stayed with him? You saw who he really was in times of need, and you decided you still loved him and he’s the man to spend your life with. Wow.

I do blame the women when they stay.

He's done it on purpose for what reason? Are you thinking he's intentionally trying to ruin/put a damper on the day? Is he being spiteful? What's going on? And... has he done this before?

Who deliberately fucks up their child’s party??

This is the crux of the matter. What caring husband and father would do this?

This is not an incident I would allow to be glossed over. It speaks to his contempt for his family, his immaturity, his selfishness and lack of pulling his weight when it comes to parenting.

Adults need fruit too.

Yes, but most normal people meet their children's needs first ahead of their own.

They do, but surely it's more important to make sure the children are getting the nutrients they need?

He should absolutely have brought it all back he's a twat and a greedy one at that. He's taken most of it! Is he planning on feeding his work colleagues too.

OP I know it’s not the point of the thread but jam slags is the best typo ever

YANBU thought, how annoying and inconsiderate. I HATE it when people don’t check about food before eating iit

We don't leave because they took more than their share, or something destined for another meal, that would be extreme.
We don't leave because they left a cup next to the dishwasher. We don't leave because they made a mistake and it wasn't important enough to them to put it right.
We leave because of the continual grind of being with someone who is mean, selfish, entitled and more important than anyone else.

Jam Slag?!

I read a book about a middle class woman sent to Holloway prison ( 1980’s)

She said “Manchester Tart” was called “
Manchester Slag” by her fellow Inmates.

Minimizing and excusing men’s behaviour is never the path to your own peace.

Encouraging other women to minimize and excuse the shit behaviour of their partners when they speak of it, is downright irresponsible as it leads to women staying in shit relationships.

If a woman like OP says ‘my H did this shit thing. He did it on purpose’ she needs to be listened to and believed, not told this is normal behaviour to be expected of a man.

What the H did here is not normal. Eating your own child’s party food to spite your wife? I think that’s the worst (legal) behaviour I have heard from a man in the over a decade I’ve been on the relationships board. There’s a real nastiness to it.

Sorry I've completely missed the point but jam slag has ended me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is weaponised incompetence

”oh I didn’t know they were for ds’s birthday”
“oh it’s my house, so I thought they were fair game”.

Well that poster was right when she said if she posted there would be women who would find a way to make it her fault. And you did 🙄

Count your blessings that your life has led you to the naive conclusion you reached here.

Right, here we go! After several iterations I think I have produced something worthy of the name 'jam harlots'. Essentially a sort of double-walled freestanding jam tart. Instead of pastry, I used the same biscuit dough I use for stained glass biscuits (it's very buttery and very forgiving). For some unaccountable reason, the posting interface is inviting me to mark these as 'sensitive images'? I can't think why.

(To be absolutely clear, these are not jam slags. I've just taken the opportunity to have a little too much fun. And, at this point, far too much jam...)

This is not only an insult to you but also ruining your child's birthday. I would have rocked up at work to collect the goods (but my DH would have treble checked if he could/could not take any).

I suggest rather than make the argument about you having to reproduce the food (which he clearly doesn't care about), you make it about ruining child's party.

I get the sensitive images even when posting a dog!
These cakes don’t look remotely pornographic?!

How do you know he only took a couple of sausage rolls? Op says most of the baking she did has gone - so presumable more than 2 items out of the total of 30 odd items she'd baked.

And if the op has the party today she may not have time to go shopping beforehand!