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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP called me a middle class racist

1000 replies

Whoswhoof · 31/05/2024 20:02

Just now. Discussing the upcoming election. Both always voted labour. I said I’m voting Tory in the upcoming GE for a multitude of reasons, some of which come under the bracket of gender identity, kids sex ed, general tightening of illegal immigration, not taxing private schools. I explained you kind of just have to vote for the party that most aligns with your beliefs as you’re never going to agree with all of them (I don’t agree with a lot of Tory policies, but the ones that are important to me are relevant)

DP then jokes “So you’re a middle class racist now!” Then says only joking. DP will be voting labour.

Aibu to think this is quite out of order?

edited for typo!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Clavinova · 01/06/2024 20:56

MrsSunshine2b
If you want immigration but with checks and balances, vote Labour.

How come the Home Office under Labour 'found' 450,000 outstanding asylum cases hidden in the basement in 2006? (Most of the cases related to the early 2000s.)

19 July 2006

The 450,000 failed asylum seekers still in Britain

Home Secretary John Reid was plunged into another crisis as it emerged official figures have vastly underestimated the number still in the UK despite having their cases turned down.

Home Office officials had previously vigorously disputed National Audit Office estimates of 285,000 failed asylum seekers living in the UK. They put the figure at 235,000.

But a trawl through the mountain of boxes piled up in the IND yesterday revealed as many as 450,000 cases.

The cases were subsequently 'set aside' so they didn't count in the stats;

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-396443/The-450-000-failed-asylum-seekers-Britain.html

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 20:57

Againname · 01/06/2024 20:26

This is true. I remember lots of Conservative voters and party members being vocal about not wanting Boris to go and not wanting Truss or Sunak. Also I've noticed that one of the most popular Tory MPs amongst Conservative voters seems to be Suella Braverman. Who isn't white.

To add, I'm making a neutral observation, in response to posts on here suggesting "all or more Tories are racist". I'm not giving my own particular opinions on any particular political party or on Boris, Rishi, Suella, or any other political figure.

Edited

Also Kemi Badenoch is hugely popular with grass roots Tories and would have won I think had it gone to membership votes. The racist thing is just ludicrous.

Edited to apologise - just seen your recent post saying the same thing.

Clavinova · 01/06/2024 21:06

MrsSunshine2b
If you want immigration but with checks and balances, vote Labour.

And what's all this in 2004 - which led to Labour's immigration minister resigning?

Mr Blair promised last February to halve the number of asylum applicants - then running at 84,130 a year, up from 32,500 in 1997 - within six months.

His deal with [Romanian prime minister] Mr Nastase reveals the lengths to which he was prepared to go to achieve his target - in effect legally opening British borders to Romanians as long as they did not describe themselves as asylum seekers. It also sheds important light on the events that last week led to the resignation of Beverley Hughes as immigration minister.

Miss Hughes was forced to step down after it emerged that she misled the public over her knowledge of the anxieties of British diplomats in Bucharest about the "fast-tracking" of fraudulent visa applications from Romanians.

Leaked emails from the Home Office suggest that planned raids on premises where suspected failed asylum seekers were hiding were aborted after pressure from the office of Ms Hughes.

The raids might have uncovered illegal immigrants who would promptly claim asylum, forcing up the figures, it is claimed. A separate claim from Bulgaria's ambassador to Britain, that the Home Office had failed to chase criminals let into the UK on visas despite repeated warnings, added to the gathering crisis.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1458492/Revealed-Blair-made-deal-with-Romanian-PM-to-let-in-migrants.html

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/migrant-row-reaches-inside-downing-street-as-blair-is-accused-of-secret-deal-to-relax-controls-54551.html

Livelovebehappy · 01/06/2024 21:06

bridgerbelle · 01/06/2024 19:38

I couldn't be in a relationship with a Tory. I know my dad votes Tory and I get on well with him and just try to avoid political discussions, but I absolutely couldn't share a life with someone whose views aligned with the Conservatives. Anyone who looks around now and says 'yes, more of this please' baffles me. To say it's coercive or controlling to seek a partner who shares your views is bordering on hysteria.

Can’t you see though that it’s not necessarily people looking around and saying ‘more of this please’, but that there is really no alternative. Only a couple of years ago, people were saying Labour were no longer a viable opposition option, and wouldnt get into government for many years, if ever. The only reason people are now voting for them is that the Tories have been so crap with Sunak at the helm, that Labour, while still being a dire option, are probably considered just a bit less crap than the Tories. So we have the option between two crap parties. Have you seen the infighting already starting to take place between Momentum supporters within the party and the centre left Keir is trying to push through? There are so many variations of the Labour Party, and it’s difficult atm to see who we will be getting when they get in.

Rainydayinlondon · 01/06/2024 21:14

TempestTost · 01/06/2024 20:14

Is there any real question that most Labour voters are voting based on their own interests? The problem is I think that people assume that means economic interests. It doesn't mean just that though, it also means they things they admire or think are important, or ethical.

That's the only thing that really explains the changes in Labour policies and emphasis over the decades. They were a party of the working classes, put a lot of emphasis on unions as we know, protection of industry, also very suspicious of movement of labour and therefore Euro-skeptics in many cases. They put a lot of value on good jobs for all, functioning connected communities, connection to place.

Labour for a long time however has been the party of the urban professional classes, and their policies now reflect those people's values and beliefs. They want to feel they are protecting the vulnerable, but they don't really have a personal experience of the way connected and established communities tend to be important to the working classes. They have less connection to place, they put more value on the ability to move abroad, or live in a place with a lot of different ethnicities, which is exciting and feels more sophisticated - and they have the money to buy in help when they need it so don't suffer as much if their communities change or they have to move away from family. They tend not to feel the effects of wage depression due to high immigration, on the contrary, easy access to international work is great for their professional life.

That's not to say they are being deliberately selfish, any more than most Tory voters are. Most people want everyone to do well. But the things that middle class, university educated people experience and see as valuable are what most influence their views on policy.

This is probably very true. In which case… who will those communities vote for in this coming election? Arguably they voted conservative on the Brexit point, but what now?

mrlistersgelfbride · 01/06/2024 21:17

I would judge my partner if he voted Tory. I'd think he was a fucking idiot. I'd loose all respect for him.
Same for my friends.
And for family.
Why? Because the Tories are selfish and disgusting. They have proved this over and over again throughout the last 14 years.

I think your partner has lost respect for you and I can't blame him.
How can you be worried about school fees when the country is in a fucking shambles. "Yes more of this please, it'll be fine"
No way.

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:17

mrlistersgelfbride · 01/06/2024 21:17

I would judge my partner if he voted Tory. I'd think he was a fucking idiot. I'd loose all respect for him.
Same for my friends.
And for family.
Why? Because the Tories are selfish and disgusting. They have proved this over and over again throughout the last 14 years.

I think your partner has lost respect for you and I can't blame him.
How can you be worried about school fees when the country is in a fucking shambles. "Yes more of this please, it'll be fine"
No way.

The vitriol is quite something to behold.

Skyedancer · 01/06/2024 21:19

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:17

The vitriol is quite something to behold.

Damn right it’s vitriol.

Ive seen firsthand what the Tories have done to the nhs and to support for children with SEN and adults with disabilities.

Theyre scum

mrlistersgelfbride · 01/06/2024 21:20

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:17

The vitriol is quite something to behold.

Thanks 😊

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:24

Livelovebehappy · 01/06/2024 21:06

Can’t you see though that it’s not necessarily people looking around and saying ‘more of this please’, but that there is really no alternative. Only a couple of years ago, people were saying Labour were no longer a viable opposition option, and wouldnt get into government for many years, if ever. The only reason people are now voting for them is that the Tories have been so crap with Sunak at the helm, that Labour, while still being a dire option, are probably considered just a bit less crap than the Tories. So we have the option between two crap parties. Have you seen the infighting already starting to take place between Momentum supporters within the party and the centre left Keir is trying to push through? There are so many variations of the Labour Party, and it’s difficult atm to see who we will be getting when they get in.

Yes Starmer is battling the hard left and not winning at the moment. Sunak is a busted flush. I feel sorry for all of us having to choose between two such hopeless parties.

Starmer in particular has not made a promising start to the campaign and he actually took a private jet up to Scotland yesterday - to launch his environmental policies! You couldn't make it up! They are bloody laughing at us.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/video/2024/may/31/labour-flew-private-jet-to-scotland-keir-starmer-admits-video

Labour flew private jet to Scotland, Keir Starmer admits – video

Keir Starmer has admitted travelling via 'efficient' private jet to Scotland during the general election campaign

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/video/2024/may/31/labour-flew-private-jet-to-scotland-keir-starmer-admits-video

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:24

Skyedancer · 01/06/2024 21:19

Damn right it’s vitriol.

Ive seen firsthand what the Tories have done to the nhs and to support for children with SEN and adults with disabilities.

Theyre scum

That you Ange?

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 01/06/2024 21:26

Quite right, @Skyedancer

Genevieva · 01/06/2024 21:27

TempestTost · 01/06/2024 19:58

The thing that really gets me about this is people inevitably bring up how much better health care was under the last Labour government.

We;;, yes, because they saddled everyone alive right now with the bloody debt for what they did!

And now they blame the Conservatives for the fact that there is little money.

It will come back to haunt them though I suspect, there is no way they can fudge it this time. They will be elected and won't be able to do much if anything to improve the situation.

You’re right, people do forget. But sadly the Conservatives haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory over the last 14 years. Most of the front benchers have Blairite. They have failed to repeal the harmful and anti-democratic constitutional changes made by Blair, which has left them hamstrung when it comes to delivering on promises, because the power has been devolved away from Parliament into the hands of unelected bodies. Their Covid policies, including the most generous and unchecked furlough payments in the world, racked up more debt than all governments combined over the last 200 years.

We have cripplingly high taxes that have not risen with inflation, causing Mums on Mumsnet to complain that their good job leaves them with no disposable income. It also includes higher corporation tax than most of Europe, including high tax Nordic countries and Italy, because Jeremy Hunt raised it from 19% to 25%. It is now double the rate in Ireland. Seriously, who would want to invest here or set up business here in this environment of high tax and a customer base with no money to spend? We are at the point where our tax levels are so high they are reducing the tax take by HMRC because they are stifling business.

Do I think any of the parties intend to sort these problems out? No. Labour will want to spend more, which either means more inflation, more taxation or both. This will cause the economy to contract further, so Immigration will be used to create a short-term artificial boost caused by more new spenders in the system. The Tories would do the same. They just won’t get a chance because they will lose the election. There are no competently led political parties in this election.

DontWheeshtMe · 01/06/2024 21:28

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:24

That you Ange?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OneTC · 01/06/2024 21:30

I know loads of very left wing people but have never met anyone as ideologically pure as some of the people itt. One maybe but I told him I vote Tory (I don't) and he still speaks to me so...

Are you could never kiss a Tory lot all about 14?

TempestTost · 01/06/2024 21:38

Rainydayinlondon · 01/06/2024 21:14

This is probably very true. In which case… who will those communities vote for in this coming election? Arguably they voted conservative on the Brexit point, but what now?

Do you mean, who will the urban professionals vote for, or the working class people?

I think the latter in particular are more inclined to be floating voters, at least in recent times. The Conservatives are suffering from having been in power a long time, even with a less than inspiring LP, that fatigue will work in their favour I think. But, the LP has badly burned them by revealing that they actually despise a lot of wc people and values, in a rather personal way. Anyone who has felt that is very hard to win back.

If you mean the urban professional classes, they will vote LP, or LibDem, or Green. It's as much a part of their identity as it used to be for the wc to vote Labour.

Livelovebehappy · 01/06/2024 21:38

Skyedancer · 01/06/2024 21:19

Damn right it’s vitriol.

Ive seen firsthand what the Tories have done to the nhs and to support for children with SEN and adults with disabilities.

Theyre scum

The irony....referencing vitriol then ending the post calling tories, and presumably tory supporters, scum. A true labourite......

MotherFeministWoman · 01/06/2024 21:44

OneTC · 01/06/2024 21:30

I know loads of very left wing people but have never met anyone as ideologically pure as some of the people itt. One maybe but I told him I vote Tory (I don't) and he still speaks to me so...

Are you could never kiss a Tory lot all about 14?

You know people can choose who to have relationships with don't you?

LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 01/06/2024 21:46

Livelovebehappy · 01/06/2024 21:38

The irony....referencing vitriol then ending the post calling tories, and presumably tory supporters, scum. A true labourite......

Oi oi! Not all Labour supporters think like that. Smile

Also, I am not a Tory, and would never vote for them personally. I would never diss or slate people who do though. They are entitled to vote for who they want.

TempestTost · 01/06/2024 21:53

Againname · 01/06/2024 20:41

To add to my previous post. Another neutral observation. I've noticed on MN and elsewhere, that one of the more popular Conservative MPs amongst both Conservative voters and undecided voters is (black female) Kemi Badenoch.

Honestly, I don't think I've ever met a Tory, by which I mean someone who sees that as their home rather than an occasional voter, who gives two shits whether a candidate is white or non-white. The things that make them popular or not aren't about skin colour.

I've certainly men Labou people who imo have a weird attitude ro non-white candidates, as though they need to be treated in a different way. I wouldn't say it's a majority, mind.

Skyedancer · 01/06/2024 21:57

Scavernick · 01/06/2024 21:24

That you Ange?

Haha nope. Don’t particularly like her tbh either.

Dont agree women have penises.

But I think Labour are a much better option for the country.

My child has been at the sharp end of the cuts to support for children with SEN and I’ll never forgive the fuckers in charge.

Skyedancer · 01/06/2024 21:58

Livelovebehappy · 01/06/2024 21:38

The irony....referencing vitriol then ending the post calling tories, and presumably tory supporters, scum. A true labourite......

Perhaps you’ve escaped harm as a result of Tory policy.Lucky you

bridgerbelle · 01/06/2024 21:58

Livelovebehappy · 01/06/2024 21:06

Can’t you see though that it’s not necessarily people looking around and saying ‘more of this please’, but that there is really no alternative. Only a couple of years ago, people were saying Labour were no longer a viable opposition option, and wouldnt get into government for many years, if ever. The only reason people are now voting for them is that the Tories have been so crap with Sunak at the helm, that Labour, while still being a dire option, are probably considered just a bit less crap than the Tories. So we have the option between two crap parties. Have you seen the infighting already starting to take place between Momentum supporters within the party and the centre left Keir is trying to push through? There are so many variations of the Labour Party, and it’s difficult atm to see who we will be getting when they get in.

I'm not really interested in a debate here, there's no point. I know nobody is going to change my mind so I doubt I can change yours. But no, I don't see it this way. This current government are proven liars, self interested and self serving. I don't believe for one moment that the Labour party is perfect but I do have hope that they will hold themselves to a higher standard.

TempestTost · 01/06/2024 22:02

Genevieva · 01/06/2024 21:27

You’re right, people do forget. But sadly the Conservatives haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory over the last 14 years. Most of the front benchers have Blairite. They have failed to repeal the harmful and anti-democratic constitutional changes made by Blair, which has left them hamstrung when it comes to delivering on promises, because the power has been devolved away from Parliament into the hands of unelected bodies. Their Covid policies, including the most generous and unchecked furlough payments in the world, racked up more debt than all governments combined over the last 200 years.

We have cripplingly high taxes that have not risen with inflation, causing Mums on Mumsnet to complain that their good job leaves them with no disposable income. It also includes higher corporation tax than most of Europe, including high tax Nordic countries and Italy, because Jeremy Hunt raised it from 19% to 25%. It is now double the rate in Ireland. Seriously, who would want to invest here or set up business here in this environment of high tax and a customer base with no money to spend? We are at the point where our tax levels are so high they are reducing the tax take by HMRC because they are stifling business.

Do I think any of the parties intend to sort these problems out? No. Labour will want to spend more, which either means more inflation, more taxation or both. This will cause the economy to contract further, so Immigration will be used to create a short-term artificial boost caused by more new spenders in the system. The Tories would do the same. They just won’t get a chance because they will lose the election. There are no competently led political parties in this election.

Yes, this is about the size of it.

I am not too inclined to blame any government for the COVID stuff though. Almost every western nation did the same thing, it was like some weird collective madness. Boris, for all his faults, I suspect actually was naturally inclined to take a better approach, but it would never have flown with the public. People became crazed.

I also think that there is a sense in which successive governments have increasingly painted themselves into corners, as you suggest with devolution, but again, this seems to have been a sort of trend across many western countries. And I think it's been heading that way for decades. Putting more and more elements of power outside of the direct control of representatives in one way or another, so that it's increasingly difficult to actually DO anything.

In some ways maybe we get the kind of governance we have asked for. We want rules and changes to tie their hands, but blame them for it when we need action.

lin7784 · 01/06/2024 22:03

Surroundedbyfools · 31/05/2024 20:14

There is nothing in this earth that would make me vote tory. Despicable bastards. All politicians are sneaky but that lot I absolutely cannot abide. Ur partner is just saying that as that’s obvz what he thinks of them. Each to their own. If you don’t want to hear opinions just say ur votes between me and the ballot box

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