DP called me a middle class racist

[Whoswhoof]

Just now. Discussing the upcoming election. Both always voted labour. I said I’m voting Tory in the upcoming GE for a multitude of reasons, some of which come under the bracket of gender identity, kids sex ed, general tightening of illegal immigration, not taxing private schools. I explained you kind of just have to vote for the party that most aligns with your beliefs as you’re never going to agree with all of them (I don’t agree with a lot of Tory policies, but the ones that are important to me are relevant)

DP then jokes “So you’re a middle class racist now!” Then says only joking. DP will be voting labour.

Aibu to think this is quite out of order?

edited for typo!

They are in decline. My friend sent me this screen shot from a email newsletter her dh received.

I have never voted Conservative. And am hoping they are going. If this grabby newsletter is anything to go by, they won't be serving the GE

If he can't joke with his partner, your relationship is in real trouble.

And she said something racist. She should have known better. (I say this as a person of colour).

anyhoo she has.now been reinstated, which is the right thing to do.

Further to the post I made yesterday about the deprivation where I live, we have just found out that 4 libraries are earmarked for closure. They are all in the most deprived wards in the city, the one near me has a very busy homework club, it is where all the kids go whose parents cannot afford to pay a monthly internet connection fee or who do not have computers or tablets. I think the VAT on school fees is as nothing when one considers the potential impact on learning for poor children. Another reason why I never have and never will vote Tory, I like to try and see beyond what will immediately benefit me and I also believe that a well educated population is good for all of us in the long term.

Really well said. Thank you. And look at the recent result of the Australian Indigenous Voice referendum.

Your post makes me want to cry. What sort of society are we living in? Inhumane.

@PrincessMiranda what department do you work in that you spend so much time in meetings pronouns or unisex toilets?

I think it is because your vote supports racist policies and reinforces inequalities. Your DP is therefore drawing inferences on your character.

It sounds like we are similar, except my children are in state school. I have, very few I should say, friends who vote tory who are black, were raised in social housing, attended the same state school as I did, windrush ancestors etc. I have had to battle and struggle to see past that. I now just ignore it.

For me it's a case of pulling up the drawbridge after you've crossed safely. The Conservatives have grossly underfunded state education in this country. I wonder whether you care about that, given you benefited from better funded education 30 years ago. Your black family might have come over legally when Britain was on it's knees and begged them, but do you also know of more recent people forced to 'work' the system? The countries they've come from are still bent double under the weight of historical loans and debt linked directly to colonialism. I wonder why your sympathies are with your friends who might have to swap their children to state school and not the 2024 version of you as a child who doesn't have paper to write on in said state school. You seem to just care about yourself now. What about you 30 years ago? What about that person, today?

The PM might be brown/black but he largely denies racism, as do all of his fellow cabinet members, I believe. They stand by Frank Hester. Your vote supports that heinous, and very recent, behaviour. Are your children visibly brown skinned? If so, think beyond private school years to them driving while black, working while black, walking down the street while black. The Conservative party has a terrible record on race equality policies. Just look at the civil service where they are removing all DEI posts.

If my partner voted Conservative it would impact our relationship as it would indicate our values had hugely diverged. I wonder how this will sit with your partner over time.

You're possibly a great, loving person, but for me, you do sound quite socio-politically naive or self-interested (as your partner said) and, I think, myopic.

But good luck. As Lauren Hill said, we have many paths and we must choose one. You might have some wins with a tory government, but you and certainly other ethnic minorities, will have some heavy losses. I personally can't do it.

Here we go if you hate immigrants - why do Labour supporters always resort to making it about hating 'foreigners'? Is it not beyond your comprehension to understand that wanting controlled immigration isn't about race or hating anyone, but about wanting to protect our already crumbling infrastructure. Its ok trotting out the same old lines 'build more social housing' 'plough more money into NHS" 'build more schools'. Whose taxes are paying for it? Certainly not the illegal immigrants/asylum seekers.

I've learned over the years that the colour of someone's skin makes absolutely no difference, when it comes to racism. Racism comes in many forms from many different people and everyone Is at risk of becoming a victim of it. I think it's much more prevalent in black people being victims because they are in a minority but I've witnessed racism from many different people with different ethnicities and proffesions. I was once talking to a lady of Indian heritage who told me her parents and their friends are extremely racist. Whilst people of colour are targeted in much higher numbers and by more people they are also capable of showing prejudice.

Also I just wondered why you said "mostly white lefties"?
It seemed like a sort of scorn or insult, but arnt these "mostly white lefties" who are against discrimination due to skin colour a good thing? Doesn't this mean the fight against racism is slowly gaining traction?

The boats issue doesn't make you racist btw, we're all in agreement that we can't house ourselves let alone poor people fleeing war but sending them off to rwanda Is not the right policy. They will land in rwanda have their application denied be shipped back to a war zone and then flee all over again, before we know it, we will be paying rwanda for the same person 3 times in as many years. It's actually more profitable for Rwanda to deny these applications than it is to grant them.

My main issue is the tories have some hard-core actual racists, they litterally do not care about these people and i get the feeling from some of them that they would parachute them back into a war zone If they could, thats the impression i get anyway. They aren't all like that but there are some. I don't know what the right answer is but I know rwanda isn't it.

They had an 80 seat majority. You can't blame the shit show on the lack of a "viable opposition".

Look: vote for the policies you want. Vote for the standard bearers and worker bees that your party puts forth. But OF COURSE people are going to hold you accountable for that! Some people will applaud you for it—some will detest you for it—some will make fun of you for it. But stop pretending it doesn’t demonstrate what economists call a “revealed preference.”

Of course it does! Lie down with dogs:get up with fleas.

Racist? Nope!
Ignorant? Yep!

That was why I said ' in part' Johnsons actual uplift in votes in a lot of the red wall was not huge. What completely collapsed was the Labour vote.

Ah, I've just read that your partner is white. Maybe then, your children look quite white, too? I wonder whether that has any bearing on your position, your stake in the world in terms of race equality, why private schools fees etc might be more relevant to you. You might not experience much of the racism dark skinned people experience, and you might not have much insight into raising black children or think very much about the future of the country from a black perspective.

What odd thinking for a parent. You, not him. YAB massively U.

The only thing that surprises me, reading your thread, OP, is that you ever voted Labour. You sound Tory through and through to me…

And that wasn't due to an invented dog whistle against immigration and the EU because the Conservatives lacked a coherent policy in the face of agitating from Farage et al? If the Conservative party had a backbone we wouldn't have half the problems we have now.

There is no part responsibility, it's fair and square on the Conservatives.

Whether it's out of order depends on whether you have the kind of relationship where that kind of banter is the norm.

However you're very unreasonable to not see that Tories have been in power for 14 years, greatly expanded gender identity and school sex ed, brought in over 200 changes to immigration law and it's still ballooning (and called immigration as "for profit" and brought in "private partners" that make a fuckton off of all the immigration issues).

You're naive if you think they definitely won't care. They might not, but presumably he knows them.

Exactly!

Also I just wondered why you said "mostly white lefties"? It seemed like a sort of scorn or insult, but arnt these "mostly white lefties" who are against discrimination due to skin colour a good thing? Doesn't this mean the fight against racism is slowly gaining traction?

For me, it's a denial of agency that is so harmful. Yes, the Far Right are actual violent Racists and many on the Hard Right ( you're correct, of all colours) are also racist, but the racism of the Left comes in the condescension that Black and Brown people are somehow not allowed agency, even if that is agency to be unpleasant/racist/right wing. We have to act as as homogenous group, which always behaves in the same way, due to their being an ethnic minority, no matter where they are from- even when they are spread around different continents. Otherwise we are puppets of some random evil White person because white people are clever enough to control Black and Brown people, but Black and Brown people are too stupid and desperate for attention from their natural overlords that they don't understand they are being used. Also, many of us have friends and family who are ethnic minorities who vote Tory.

I’d flip this around then, and tell him he’s a champagne socialist, not unlike Starmer and many of his predecessors.

Any reason to be so rude? It’s very telling that labour voters on here are so damming of Tory voters, calling them thick or stupid, it’s a free world and we get to choose. It’s also not happening the other way around.

Brexit is entirely on the Tory party, but if the Red Wall were all Brexiteers, more of them would have actively voted Tory. All I'm saying is that more people and more Labour voters didn't vote at all.