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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP called me a middle class racist

1000 replies

Whoswhoof · 31/05/2024 20:02

Just now. Discussing the upcoming election. Both always voted labour. I said I’m voting Tory in the upcoming GE for a multitude of reasons, some of which come under the bracket of gender identity, kids sex ed, general tightening of illegal immigration, not taxing private schools. I explained you kind of just have to vote for the party that most aligns with your beliefs as you’re never going to agree with all of them (I don’t agree with a lot of Tory policies, but the ones that are important to me are relevant)

DP then jokes “So you’re a middle class racist now!” Then says only joking. DP will be voting labour.

Aibu to think this is quite out of order?

edited for typo!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Nat6999 · 01/06/2024 03:27

If I was married & my other half announced they were going to vote, Tory, I would end the relationship. In the space of fourteen years, they have taken this country back to the 1970's, plus decimated the NHS. I can't forgive them for the fact that they partied when people were dying, made millions for their mates through dodgy contracts for PPE, crashed the economy, the fact that we had a PM who told bare face lies in parliament. Another who thinks Trump is a good politician & if God help us, she ever came to power again would like to go down the same lines as him & now we are landed with someone who is richer than the King & thinks us plebs should be grateful for the few crumbs we are given. I also can't forgive them for privatising the services that would have saved my late dp's life, they left the area with no service for 6 months, he won't be the only one who died but he is the one who matters to me. My mum's friend admitted that she votes tory, if I'm around when she calls, I disappear upstairs as I just can't be polite to her now.

Bibi12 · 01/06/2024 03:36

Tardidegraded · 01/06/2024 02:31

I didn't call you a xenophobe or a racist and you are not conversing with me as you have not addressed a single point I have made. It is of course much easier to say that you won't address my points due to strawman arguments you have come up with rather than actually have a proper conversation about the things I have said.

You said and I quote:

"You have just reiterated the same old tropes that people use to justify their xenophobic views."

Implying that I'm a xenophobe or at least repeating mantras of xenophobes. Of course you made sure to pretend that's not what you're Implying at all.

Making fast assumptions on little fragment of someone's opinion on such a complex and deep topic derails conversation.

Do you know the meaning of "Strawman argument"? It means arguing against distorted version of opposition rather then their actual argument. This is exactly what you did by bringing xenophobia into it. Word which completely lost it's original meaning by the way and is being used incorrectly. But maybe I'm just pedantic.
I haven't addressed your points hence I couldn't have come up with strawman argument.

And I already told you why I haven't addressed them. Just accept my honest explanation rather then inventing something to fit your narrative.

KarenOH · 01/06/2024 03:42

Naran · 31/05/2024 20:07

racist? By voting for the party with the non white leader? Your dp is smoking crack. Flip it round and tell him he’s the racist as he’s voting against rishi sunak.

“I’m not racist. I’ve got friends who are black.”

eyeroll

5YearsLeft · 01/06/2024 04:33

KarenOH · 01/06/2024 03:42

“I’m not racist. I’ve got friends who are black.”

eyeroll

Not really that much different than OP’s reasoning for why she can’t be classist, which is what this REALLY is about.

”I’m voting Tory because I’ve got kids in private education, I don’t want it taxed, I don’t want illegal immigration… but, but I’m from a rough council estate…” So what, OP? Writing’s the same on the wall everywhere, at council estates too, where everything is worse because of Tories.

Illegal immigration rose exponentially under the Tories. The only justification can be that you like the way the Tories TALK about dealing with illegal immigration - gathering up people as if they’re animals, swooping onto them and arresting them when they attend LEGAL appointments, and then planning to keep them imprisoned until they can ship them to Rwanda?!?! An incredibly unsafe place with less freedom?

The Tories said, “STOP THE SMALL BOATS!” And talked about nothing but small boats and the small boats still came and more than ever.

If you ACTUALLY cared about that, you’d want to give Labour’s idea of targeting people smugglers instead of people smuggled a try. Criminals instead of victims.

And I’m not touching that gender identity bit with a ten-foot pole. As many have said before, and they’re all correct, the only reason the Tories want to clarify what a woman is, is so they can make sure they fuck them over too. And if you think I’m wrong, vote the Tories in again and see. Or you could just ask every woman who died in the last few years as a result of a failing NHS… but you can’t.

So… you’re voting Tory because you don’t want to (maybe) pay an extra wealth tax that applies to you and you think some poor people should be sent to a country where they’ll be much, much worse off. I’m NOT saying you’re classist, but… hopefully you have some poor friends so you can make the argument in the quote above.

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse44 · 01/06/2024 05:19

This reply has been deleted

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PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 01/06/2024 05:26

BananaLambo · 31/05/2024 20:13

Why are you voting Tory because of gender identity? The mess we’re in now happened under their watch. They’ve been in power for 14 years. All this mess is directly their choosing and doing.

Same for immigration. They had nearly 15 years to “tighten” illegal immigration!

BarHumbugs · 01/06/2024 05:28

SadOrWickedFairy · 31/05/2024 20:44

Who knows? That is just whataboutery, same as saying if Labour had been in power during Covid they would/wouldn't have done xyz
^^

As the Tories voted for the Iraq war I think we CAN say they would have done the same thing! 146 Tory MP voted for the war, only 2 against as opposed to Labour's 254 for and 84 against so actually the Tory party were more for it than Labour.

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 05:34

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 01/06/2024 05:26

Same for immigration. They had nearly 15 years to “tighten” illegal immigration!

Yes and spent most of that time fighting lefties in the House of Lords and going through the courts to try and wrestle back control of our borders.

I trust they will complete the work if they win the election. Otherwise forget it, Labour get in and it’s literally open season for people traffickers.

BarHumbugs · 01/06/2024 05:36

Whoswhoof · 31/05/2024 21:53

😂😂 how so?

if you’re referring to immigration, see again up thread that my grandparents came here - legally.

Mass and illegal immigration is a huge problem.

By far the greatest number of immigration to this country is legal and has increased massively under the Tories. Why are you ignoring that?

Bululu · 01/06/2024 05:38

The left way to shut up debate. It is very childish and the intelligent people can see through that. However, the left think of themselves as the most intelligent and superior. So I really hope your husband was joking because he is aware of this. Also, immigration is a factor in the next elections in every developed country. It is not racist it is common sense.

BarHumbugs · 01/06/2024 05:38

Whoswhoof · 31/05/2024 22:24

Remind me again which party this happened under…

The Tories, the Windrush scandal started in 2018.

BarHumbugs · 01/06/2024 05:43

Justcallmebebes · 31/05/2024 23:01

He did not admit to "partying" he said there was a gathering of his staff who provided a cake on his birthday. I am no fan of Johnson or the Tories, but there was no partying

A shit party is still a party

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 05:43

Nat6999 · 01/06/2024 03:27

If I was married & my other half announced they were going to vote, Tory, I would end the relationship. In the space of fourteen years, they have taken this country back to the 1970's, plus decimated the NHS. I can't forgive them for the fact that they partied when people were dying, made millions for their mates through dodgy contracts for PPE, crashed the economy, the fact that we had a PM who told bare face lies in parliament. Another who thinks Trump is a good politician & if God help us, she ever came to power again would like to go down the same lines as him & now we are landed with someone who is richer than the King & thinks us plebs should be grateful for the few crumbs we are given. I also can't forgive them for privatising the services that would have saved my late dp's life, they left the area with no service for 6 months, he won't be the only one who died but he is the one who matters to me. My mum's friend admitted that she votes tory, if I'm around when she calls, I disappear upstairs as I just can't be polite to her now.

And this is why I find the left demented and frothing and completely unable and unwilling to imagine any other view apart from their own. To think we have raised militants that are this lacking in such fundamental intelligence, that they can literally only see one reality is more than a bit terrifying. We live in a DEMOCRACY where all kinds of views are welcome and exist.

The fact you end relationships simply because others have a different view to yours makes you sound utterly unhinged. Brainwashed. In need of professional help. God help us.

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 05:52

BarHumbugs · 01/06/2024 05:36

By far the greatest number of immigration to this country is legal and has increased massively under the Tories. Why are you ignoring that?

Because it was the right thing to do maybe? To offer safety to Afghans, Ukrainians and the population of Hong Kong. I totally support those decisions and I am not anti immigrant, I just feel we should reserve our generosity for those genuinely in need, and control our borders so we have the space and resources left for those in genuine need and not the 100s of thousands of chancers looking for an easy buck. This is not an unreasonable position.

Labour never ever answer how they are going to PAY and HOUSE unlimited migrant access. It’s just ridiculous.

Chickenuggetsticks · 01/06/2024 05:53

DH and I have voted in different ways, it’s never affected our marriage. A lot of couples in my family, we don’t have a family bloc vote. But then we are all capable of listening to each others rationale and having a think about what they are saying. They are all decent people but just have differences of opinion on what would work best for themselves and the country.

It’s literally impossible to have a normal conversation about politics on-line. I started a thread on how Labour were planning to fund their spending plans and got accused of working for tory hq for asking a simple question.

Some of the responses are just extremely childish

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 05:54

Chickenuggetsticks · 01/06/2024 05:53

DH and I have voted in different ways, it’s never affected our marriage. A lot of couples in my family, we don’t have a family bloc vote. But then we are all capable of listening to each others rationale and having a think about what they are saying. They are all decent people but just have differences of opinion on what would work best for themselves and the country.

It’s literally impossible to have a normal conversation about politics on-line. I started a thread on how Labour were planning to fund their spending plans and got accused of working for tory hq for asking a simple question.

Some of the responses are just extremely childish

How civilised. And how normal (in my circles) to have respect for other views.

WuTangGran · 01/06/2024 06:00

You’re voting Tory hahahahahahaaaaaa.
And you come on here and admit it.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 01/06/2024 06:01

Given the fact you've always previously voted Labour, presumably he's surprised by your sudden change of politics?

Why did you previously vote Labour, and what's changed? I suppose he is wondering if you feel the party has changed or it is you that has changed.

Chickenuggetsticks · 01/06/2024 06:04

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 05:54

How civilised. And how normal (in my circles) to have respect for other views.

Yes we are utterly boring normal people who have managed to not scream “scum” at each other. I like to think most people are normal and boring like us. I don’t think anyone is planning to vote conservative this time but if someone said they were, absolutely no insults would be hurled at them. We tend to have “thinking out loud” discussions mulling over different points instead of lecturing and hectoring.

It does seem these days that people don’t even bother to try to convince each other of anything. They go straight to insults, shaming and emotional manipulation. No-one bothers trying to construct an argument. It’s lazy.

Nellodee · 01/06/2024 06:04

The Windrush scandal happened under the tories. Them coming here is not the scandal. Them being deported after living here for decades is.

BarHumbugs · 01/06/2024 06:06

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 05:52

Because it was the right thing to do maybe? To offer safety to Afghans, Ukrainians and the population of Hong Kong. I totally support those decisions and I am not anti immigrant, I just feel we should reserve our generosity for those genuinely in need, and control our borders so we have the space and resources left for those in genuine need and not the 100s of thousands of chancers looking for an easy buck. This is not an unreasonable position.

Labour never ever answer how they are going to PAY and HOUSE unlimited migrant access. It’s just ridiculous.

Edited

I'm pretty sure those places are not where all the recent migration is from, isn't it mainly India and Turkey? The 100s of thousands of immigrants per year have come here under the Tories so the idea that the are the ones to reduce it IS an unreasonable position, yes.

Floorbard · 01/06/2024 06:07

Genuinely no excuse for voting Tory, pathetic.

Polishedshoesalways · 01/06/2024 06:09

Floorbard · 01/06/2024 06:07

Genuinely no excuse for voting Tory, pathetic.

And you genuinely don’t see anything wrong with that post?

Simonjt · 01/06/2024 06:09

Whoswhoof · 31/05/2024 22:24

Remind me again which party this happened under…

The tories in 2012, they almost successfully resumed deportation in 2019.

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