Why don't women with kids force the dads to have them 50% of time?

[DontCheetoTheCheetah]

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

It's a typical comment from a childless woman, really.

They don't understand.

If my ex had my youngest he'd kill her to get back at me for leaving him ( he told me he'd do it as I left him due to dv)

This isn’t about being childless I think. I suspect the op is very young, teenage.

I would be so upset not having my children for half the week, part of the reason I didn't want to split up because I couldn't bear not having them for Christmas etc but luckily we work round it good although I do feel guilty that exh doesn't have them all the time like when we were together

would love to know how you would enforce it?

its probably the same silly women who also fail to ensure they receive maintenance.

See I really don't think it is.

I know childless women of all ages and I can't think a single one of them wouldn't realise this would be a cruel move for the children involved.

Not to mention completely unsafe.

But there is no such legislation. Does this answer your frankly speaking absolutely ignorant and stupid question?

You're making those of us without kids look incredibly naive

You can't force them. Unless you yourself abandon your children and then presumably the fathers would step up. But that's a big risk and I couldn't do that.

People who love their children don't usually want them to have to spend time in the care of people who don't love them.

Don't be silly op

This is not another AI bot is it?

Forcing kids on someone who has no interest in parenting them is dangerous.

I suspect many men would prefer jail to looking after their own kids. Three meals a day provided for them, laundry, no life admin, no bills - compared to shopping, cooking bathing , life admin, picking/dropping off for school, looking after them when sick etc

Very funny OP. Not.

Only if AI stands for 'Absolute Ignorance'.

My ex has chosen to live 4 hours away, so it's not realistic to do EOW, let alone 50/50! Even if he did have them 50/50, how would it even work with school - an 8 hour round trip twice a day to school? He chooses to see them around 4-5 weeks a year during school holidays, and to be honest, it suits us all better including the kids.

Yeah it’s a fantastic bloody idea to force someone to look after their children when they have refused to. You wouldn’t be concerned in the slightest as to whether they are actually going to take care of them 🙄 and that’s ignoring the fact of how you actually force someone to look after their children.

Report them to who exactly??? There’s no law that says a parent has to have their kids…

Ok, so with the current law as it is, how would you force the father to look after their child?

Yes they certainly are!!!

The things you'd have to do to force them would be extremely upsetting for your child. Most mothers prioritise the child so do not.

Eg - leaving a young child uncollected from school for hours to force dad to collect (ignoring the many calls from school to collect).

Leaving children on a doorstep & driving off.

Basically most mothers will not do this to their children.

Lots of relationships split......mother stays in the home.....Dad gets a gritty bed sit/house share

Not suitable for kids

YABVU. I’m happily married, but if we split up, I would not force DH to have the kids if he didn’t want to (though I can’t see that happening).

1. Because I love my kids and don’t want to be apart from them

2. Because I wouldn’t want the kids to be in the presence of someone who didn’t actively want them

I also don’t see my kids as a burden

That's optimistic, the poor kids would likely end up fobbed off onto in laws or just stuck in front of the TV and ignored. Again, that just isn't acting with the best interests of the children in mind, and they come first. It's not fair that childcare so often falls to the mother by default, but it is often in the best interests of the children.

Forcing them to spend time with a bored and disinterested parent isn't going to be good for them any more than being with a parent that actively doesn't want them.

The mother can only usually stay in the house if they buy their ex partner out. Otherwise the house is sold and proceeds split.