Why don't women with kids force the dads to have them 50% of time?

[DontCheetoTheCheetah]

Disclaimer: I dont have kids and dont want them so prepared to accept my POV might be odd but...

...Just read a thread where a woman was talking about disputing maintenance costs with her ex and mentioned he never has his kids overnight, adding that its his choice.

Why wouldn't you just force them to have their kids? Im think if I were a mum I'd quite like to have half my time to just chill and have some downtime without my children? Or is it that when you have kids you cant bear to be wthout them?

Even courts cannot force absent parents to see their kids - and frankly why would anyone force kids to see a reluctant parent.

Id love my kids to have a relationship with their dad but he just walked away.

Yes there is a court order.

I didn't want him to have them.

He was a shit husband and a shit dad and when i decided to leave and take the kids he was uninterested. And i was glad to be honest. I wouldn't have wanted my girls where they weren't wanted.

I certainly wouldn't have wanted the law to force him to have them OP! (they're in their 20s now and their father is an afterthought and a bit of a joke to them)

Would YOU want to go and stay and be dependant on someone who the law has FORCED into having you stay with them?!

I'd happily settle for him having her 5% of the time instead I have her 100% and you can bet he's saying I don't let him see her.

So there should be no issue then. If the other parent breaches the order, back to court.

Would ye, aye?

Come on, how would you force them? You said you would, and you know you can't change the law as it isn't child neglect as previously mentioned. Interested to know exactly how you'd force an absent father to take his kids, especially when it's someone who doesn't want to care for them. I'd worry for the children in that scenario and wouldn't want them forcibly left with someone who didn't want them.

Personally, had I been in this situation, I'd have wanted to have dd with me for as much time as possible, so I wouldn't have wanted to force anything with DH in any case.

But even if the resident parent did want the other parent to step up, realistically, if you have one parent who is disengaged and disinterested, it isn't possible to force them to do 50/50 anyway. Not without significant detriment to the child, and no decent parent would want to put their child in that situation.

Please don't type here anymore.

My brother had to fight to have his kids 50/50 his ex wife didn't want him to so he would still have to pay her child maintenance which paid for her holidays. Its not always the mans fault.

Breath taking naivety OP

lol
seconded!

And how would you propose they force them?

There is a court order but not 50/50. He has unsupervised regular contact of course, but although he asked for 50/50, the mother disputed that and she got exactly what she asked for, despite the (not young) children wanting to see their dad more.

Why would you force that? 50/50 isn't always best for the child. I hated it, I didn't belong anywhere and it was shit

There should be a law that makes it a criminal offence not to, and it should have a jail sentence.
Fathers shouldn't only be financially responsible for their kids, they should take on the life burden of them too.

Why don't you reframe that question to...

Why don't dad's want to have their children 50% of the time?

I want to book a lovely, long, indulgent holiday but I can't afford it. Should I force the travel agent to give me a massive discount or should I force other people to give me money? 🏝️☀️💷✈️

And social services would tell you to stop wasting their time. What do you think happens to kids with one feckless parent? The responsable parent has the child 24/7.

I can't imagine sending my children into the care of somebody who didn't want to look after them. How awful that would be for them! Plus, I'm not sure splitting time equally between two different homes is great for kids even if both parents are loving and interested - as a PP said, they can feel like they don't have any one proper home.

I think it should be made law that fathers have their kids 50% of the time. It could lead to less discrimination in the workplace as men would have the same constraints as women do when they have to take responsibility for the children.

Just imagine the workplace would be transformed! All of a sudden lots of things would be put in place to support men!

What do you think happens to kids with a parent in jail?
The other parent has the kid 24/7.

There’s lots of reasons why a parent can’t have 50% custody. Eg they work in the armed forces or at night so can’t get childcare

Mine lives too far away to make it possible (He moved away btw )

You can’t force parents who dgaf to parent. Such a policy would put kids in danger because the uninterested parent will be acting in the most extreme way possible so that they are deemed unfit quickly.

My ex had the kids for 2.5 hours on a Wednesday, and took them to Maccies on the way home for tea. I was made to feel grateful for the break.
He upped is a bit as they got older and less work, but it was never more than the odd night here and there, always at the convenience of his hobbies and plans, and I was always made to feel grateful.
I'm not sure how I could have insisted on more, and tbh if he didn't want them I'd rather they were with me than sent to him under sufferance.
They're adults now and know who raised them.