Van life request to shower

[Uoyeb]

I have a long-standing friend who is a bit unconventional. He’s never really stuck at any job, is a bit of an artist, always low on cash. He tends to live in short term rentals, often studios or rooms in shared houses. It wouldn’t be a life for me but he seems happy and content with it, so be it.

Rents are increasing and and he recent came into a small inheritance, so he’s decided to buy a van to live in. He’ll fit it out similar to a small camper, sleep / live in the van, and then use toilet facilities that are open to the public, and showers at friends or cheap leisure centres or service stations that have that facility.

He’s asked whether, on the odd occasion, he could use our shower if he’s in the area and there’s nowhere else local to go. I’m not sure how to respond.

How would you respond?

He's only able to consider this lifestyle by factoring in the generosity of people he knows

Exactly. He’s far too bohemian/alternative to have a house with bathroom facilities and a job he doesn’t particularly employ (but which pays the council tax and the mortgage). And he probably looks down on you a bit for it. Oh - but he’s happy to use all the creature comforts that come with your lifestyle (which you pay for) when it suits him…..

I’ve seen this all before and am therefore a bit cynical! That said, for a genuinely good friend who gives you support/care in other ways? Sure - why not. But - as a pp said - beware getting sucked in to basically subsidising him and his lifestyle.

My response would be yes you can use my shower and my washing machine every now and then.

We used to have a B&B and we had a weekly guest who parked his self-converted van in our car park, paid us £5 a night, plugged into the power in our shed and had an electric blanket!

(If one of our B&B rooms was free he'd use that shower or he'd use ours).

Presumably your mate could heat water for a hot water bottle?

Agree with @ElleDeeCB get him to join a cheap gym - I think something like pure gym doesn't tie you down. There seems to be a £15.99 off peak monthly membership which is cheap enough tbh.

www.puregym.com/membership-options/

However I would probably be ok with it. I don't know if he might then start asking to use washing machine & so on? Could be expensive.

IME no good deed goes unpunished.

I probably would, as long as he didn't take it as a green light to start taking the piss

Sure, as long as you know he is not someone who tends to take advantage.

I'd be absolutely fine with that.
My friend is a van lifer and has managed absolutely fine with using local facilities (gym membership) and occasional campsites. Also has a porta shower for summer when they are more "wild camping" based.

Let your friend use your shower.

Sharing is caring.

park4night.com

this might help with shower block, etc

Yes it does sound you're projecting pretty hard here.

And since when is taking a shower using "all the creature comforts that come with your lifestyle"...?

What hyperbole.

I’d have zero problem with this.

I really can't believe how mean some people are. If this man is a friend, surely you help a friend out when they need it? It's hardly going g to break the bank if he has a few showers or does a few loads of washing. Or are people just being like this because they're jealous of his unconventional lifestyle?

Jealous of being homeless and dressing it up as a bohemian adventure?

Yes. I think it would be lovely to have a bohemian lifestyle without having to worry about mortgages, going to an office every day, etc.

I wouldn't agree to this except in an emergency. What happens if you are working/asleep/sitting around in your pyjamas? or if you are out?

Ah, I'm a conventional soul who likes showers, central heating and not shitting in to a chemical bucket 🤷🏼‍♀️

Suggest he joins a vanlife Facebook group for tips on how to navigate it. My ex lived in a van for a while and he got an access all areas membership to the Gym group which has gyms in most towns open 24/7. Showers whenever he needed for about £35 a month.

Don't be surprised if he's parked on your driveway from October to May.

Well if you're out or asleep, the friend wouldn't be able to get in! I can't see a problem if you're working at home - you can take a ten minute break to say hello. And why would it matter if you're in your pyjamas? 😆😆😆

Occasionally no problem every day or more than once a few weeks huge problem..what happens if you go away. Can see issues with this... Friend depending on someone else to fund showers etc...can he join the gym

Why doesn't he just buy a small camper van, rather than spending money on a van and converting it ?

I'd say sure but if it's more than once a month then it's £5 per shower. Why should you pay for his water/heat when he's chosen to opt out. (This assumes you're on a meter)

He's only in need out of choice

I second the cheap gym membership option for daily showers. The occasional load of washing would be fine by me.