Fall out with Grandson

[LadySmurf]

Recently I was asked to look after my two grandsons 14 & 8. The 14yo can be a handful with his behaviour and language, but we had a lovely time together, I took them out for the day and they wanted to sleep over. The next morning, 14yo was stroppy and swearing - I asked him to stop and not talk like that. The 8yo said “Mum said if you’re naughty they’ll take away your Xbox for a week” well it was like a red rag. He started shouting and swearing at me - then he punched me in the stomach. I’m very sad and horrified to say, I smacked his face in a reactive moment. When his parents came, I explained what happened and said sorry to him. They said he would apologise the next day - but nothing.
They took him home and now a month on, I’ve not had any contact with him, only the rest of the family.
I saw him yesterday when I visited their house. I said hello and asked how he was? He ignored me and told his brother he hates me.
Its his birthday next week - I don’t feel like giving him a gift. should I still? AIBU?

I feel like there's a lot of information missing, in particular how the parents dealt with it.

However I certainly wouldn't be getting him a present.

I hope you are less smug and judgemental in your daily dealings in that case

Your message may have merit but the overall message makes you seem ghastly

Calmly stepped away having just been punched in the stomach by a 14 year old lad !! You have clearly never been punched. He got a taste of his own medicine and doesn't like it, fine, let him sulk. He is lucky he wasn't done for assault, Domestic violence is not acceptable and he needs to learn a lesson.

I think the grandson got off lightly with a slap to the face, I’d have picked up my phone and called the police on the little shit.
Ive had enough of out of control kids who think the world owes them a favour. There’s always an excuse too, ADHD or some disorder or another.
Most of it is down to shit and weak parenting.

@Feelsodrained

Hear Hear well 👏🏿 👍 👌 🙌 said what you said in your post ubove,

You've hit the nail spot on the head with emotionally insightful post...

@Cicciabella The do gooder # be 😇 kind response is ridiculous 🙄
#Be kind is code for be passive and be a push over and people pleaser allways think of everyone but yourself no matter if its emotionally and pschologically detrimental to yourself as you are female, and you don't possess those precious plums and meat and veg genalita status in a our man child ego centric society who's misogynistic views and behaviorism ethics rule our society etc,

and keep the status quo attitudes in society going.!

What a load of bullshit and 💩💩😤💩 and bollox !!!

Are you for fucking real ? What planet are you on that you find the 14 year olds behaviour okay ? I doubt you work with teens given your grammar. Go “ loose” yourself in a dictionary - LOSER. A 14 year old is possibly much larger than his grandmother that HE punched in the stomach after verbally abusing her. He sounds like a nasty piece of work . I do hope you are okay OP. This is just shocking behaviour from a 14 yo.

I fear for any women this 14 year old is involved with in the future. Today an abusive teen, tomorrow an abusive partner?

@Obechod

Hear Hear Totally agree with your sentiments 100 💯 per cent 👏🏿 👌 👍 🙌
You're nailed it on the head for sure..!!!

There's allways got to be an excuse 🙄 no matter what,

No wonder some teenagers think they can get away with anything and can run amok !

I’m very much anti hitting children, but I’d say that for a 14 year old boy (who may be almost the height and size of an adult man) getting a slap in the face is the natural consequence of punching an older woman.

If the young man can't take it, he shouldn't be dishing it out.

@Thomasina79

Exactly 💯 this,

@Cicciabella Today abusive teenager

Tommorow in years to come an abusive partner and father to his children and the dysfunctional domestic abuse cycle continues in our society, !!!

@LadySmurf DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSON'S ADVICE!
You have been punched by a young adult, not a child who doesn't know better.
He doesn't deserve a gift, in fact he'd lucky you didn't report him.
Male on female violence is vile.

A 14 year old punches his nan and people are whinging about the 14 year old getting slapped back!

I can't even imagine raising my voice to my nan as a teenager, never mind punching her. She wouldn't have had to hit me back... I'd have had to run away before the rest of my family could catch me. With my octogenarian doddery grandad in the lead.

He shouted at, swore at and punched his grandmother in the stomach. He sounds awful.

He will hit other women- probably already has. He needs mental help.

He punched his grandma, after swearing at her!

I'd say that there is no way she is going to be the reason for a downward spiral of behaviour. It had already begun.

I can't imagine any situation where any child I know would punch and swear at their grandma! It simply isn't normal behaviour for a 14y.

Yes, grandma shouldn't have hit him. It sounds like it was a reaction to being hurt, possibly quite painfully, and she has apologised for her part.

Yet, he hasn't apologised and he has made no effort to address his behaviour, it seems.

The op is not to blame for his bad behaviour and shouldn't be made to feel like she is.

It's up to you how much bad behaviour you are prepared to condone for the sake of an ongoing relationship. Personally I'd say no gift, no more babysitting for the parents who clearly don't care about you, and it's not too late to report the little shit to the police.

OH BEHAVE!

It's YOU that needs to brush up on your parenting skills, if you think that a 14 year old can punch his Gran in the stomach, and that her reaction to that should be to quietly and passively step away and inflict no punishment. Honestly, I've read some namby pamby stuff on here, but this takes the absolute biscuit. You advocate teaching him that he can assault people, and that that's okay. You're telling him that it's okay to assault women. What a great husband he will make. Great lesson, well done. 🙄

He sounds like a little shit, and no I would not be buying him a gift. You would be insane to do so.

Get a grip! Sounds like your kids are insufferable whose violent actions would be excused for being "teens with scary feelings"

Fuck off!

What a stupid post. A male, teenager, not a small child, punched his grandmother in the stomach. Her reaction was completely understandable in those circumstances. She is the one who needs the apology.

I wouldn’t be buying a gift OP! Hope his parents are dealing with his disgraceful behaviour.

Some of the people here talks about a 14 years old lad as if they were talking of a toddler. Of course he knows punching is bad, of course he knows he has to show respect for his adults.
OP did no good smacking his face, that is also a true but I will have a serious conversation with him for sure.

To posters saying it was only one punch, need to google one punch. It seems his response was a 0-10 in seconds so there was little time or warning to think over a calm reaction. I cannot believe those who are shaming a loving grandmother because she made an instinctive response to being assaulted by someone she trusted and believed loved her. Trolling of the worst kind by self righteous bullies.

Op, forgive yourself here. The parents have handled this very badly and treated you as though you have little worth. I am very sorry for you because you have made an immediate apology and must feel very shocked. What on earth is this apologising tomorrow nonsense....

Don't get him a present, it's telling him that there are no punishments for what he did and that it was okay, all forgotten. I hope you are okay.

FWIW, my grandsons were fighting in my garden and I went to intervene. It was pretty nasty and my gs3 kicked me. I knew it was not a caught in the crossfire kick, it was aimed intentionally at me. His step dad intervened immediately and went mad with him. It was left for us two to separate them. He was marched in to apologise immediately. I forgave but cannot forget..

absolutely flabbergasted at this response 😡

You think she should calmly have stepped away after she was being punched in the stomach?

Find your grip somewhere because you seem to have lost it.

No present will make things worse, perhaps irreparable. I'd get a very small token and let his parents know that you'll forgive and move on, and get him a usual size Christmas present if he's apologised before then.

This exact same thing happened to me at primary school! I regularly got punched by the school bully (as did all the girls), but when he came charging at me one time and I stuck my foot out and he went flying and split his lip all over the playground, it was me who got into trouble! No wonder there are so many abusive men out there. Women are always held to higher account than men.