To think he's said this in case he doesn't want to eat with me?

[Ceeeeee]

I made a profile on an app and some guy's asked me out for a bite to eat. I said yes, and we've agreed to meet this weekend.
Now he's said shall we have a short walk first before the food to 'see how we feel'?

That's obviously code for, I'll see if I fancy you and if not I don't have to eat with you. It wasn't a fancy sit down meal, just a quick bite to eat like. Should I still go ahead? I don't know why, this has put me off slightly.
It was only some waffle place, I wouldn't go for a formal meal for a first date either. Should I still go?

It does sound odd to phrase it like that. Not just 'oh, that's a great plan, shall we have a little walk first, there's a nice park nearby etc'
The notion that it might be unbearable to spend twenty minutes eating a crepe with someone and spending fifteen quid at most...
If they're that unsure then you'd think they'd not meet you. Unless he really is a bit broke and can't afford to eat out on all his dates. He may well be having quite a few 'first dates' at this time.
It would put me off, no lie.
Not being poor, but just seeming like you're already planning an escape without fear of wasting a penny or a single extra unnecessary minute.
Like how special does that make someone feel?

He's lining you up for I told you I wasn't sure...

Exactly - you don't like them - at least there is cake. If you don't like them on a walk - you're still walking.

He just gets sexier and sexier, doesn't he? "Shit, 'spose I better commit to the waffles so I'll have to be wishy washy and vaguely insulting some other way instead..."

I’d have not suggested anything - he sounds like a thicko deluxe.

maybe he’s been burned before?

By a cafe waffle?

🤣🤣

Stand him up 🫣

Honestly OP, at this point its too much work. You shouldn't have to drag him to have a waffle!

God its depressing. This is dating now. Can't even commit to waffles let alone anything else.

I think what would insult/upset me is that at this point he's seen your profile, you've exchanged some messages, yet he's still dubious about potentially spending 20/30 minutes with you. So much so he needs a get out clause. For me that just wouldn't be worth the effort of getting ready and giving up part of my day for. Just a complete lack of enthusiasm.

Erm been married for 15 years so hard for me to think but I think now a first date for me would be coffee/wine not food. Wouldn’t want to eat with a stranger and would find a walk a bit awkward I think!

Found the incel!

😂

It looks like he truly thinks the issue is that you want waffles. That would seem ridiculous except for the number of unrelated dudebros who think exactly the same thing and can't understand the problem even when it's explained. So there's clearly a phenomenon of waffle-based male sexual gormlessness going on.

I don't know who should be more insulted by that, actually. You, for being called a waffle hunting machine only interested in exploiting innocent men for £100 waffles? Or him, for imagining himself so devoid of worth that you couldn't possibly go on a date with him for anything but waffles?

Is this dating in 2024? We seem to be evolving in the wrong direction.

I think its less about how women have earned that £100 and more that we have lost out thanks to the gender pay gap.

That's why we go around on shit dates woth shit men hoping for free food.

Can we have a photo of the waffle when you end up having them please?

Yeah we can see how we feel? God he sounds like hard work. Cant even fully agree to sitting down for half an hour for a chat and a waffle. Not exactly keen is he. I would honestly just fuck him off. Do you honestly still want to meet with this nobber?

I really want to know what he means by 'we can see how we feel'. I feel a bit like this is a teeth pulling exercise. I think I'd ask 'see how we feel about?'.

I wouldn't go out to be appraised on the spot in that way if that's what he means. Dating involves risk and investment of time and a little bit of money. He's just sounding flaky and unenthusiastic now, not even fully committing to a sodding waffle after he suggested it.

My main take away from this thread is that I never want to see the word 'waffle' again.

I'd just go for it OP, it's probably all just come out a bit wrong and he might be great in person.

I agree. I'd have binned him off by now.

But the whole point of dating is doing exactly this. Suss each other out

Wow - that sounds .... really underwhelming!

Certainly seems by his tone to be saying maybe/perhaps/ possibly/ err could do - weather permitting/ not keen but if you really insist

Are you really sure you want to waste time on this guy?

Wow, he’s really showing his enthusiasm for the date. I wonder if there will be another stage you have to go through to “see how we feel” about going for the walk that is to “see how we feel” about the waffle. Maybe there will be a quiz or questionnaire you have to complete successfully to qualify for a place on the aimless walk.

I’d be tempted to reply saying “you don’t sound very enthusiastic about meeting. If you’ve changed your mind about meeting just say so”

Or take control. He isn't keen. So say no.

Yes but there’s a way to do that without stating it.

Good grief he's hard work.

Tell him you are going for a waffle at time/date. If he wants to see you that is where you will be. Otherwise fuck off with the errrr, maybe, perhaps. It's insulting. Don't accept a man's insults before you've even met him. (You should never accept them anyway but it kinda feels worse if it's before).

Yes good idea.
This is what me and the guy I am seeing did.
It was before Christmas pub has an outdoor back area heaters etc and then went back inside to the fire place had a couple of drinks walked me to my bus stop put me on the bus.