To think he's said this in case he doesn't want to eat with me?

[Ceeeeee]

I made a profile on an app and some guy's asked me out for a bite to eat. I said yes, and we've agreed to meet this weekend.
Now he's said shall we have a short walk first before the food to 'see how we feel'?

That's obviously code for, I'll see if I fancy you and if not I don't have to eat with you. It wasn't a fancy sit down meal, just a quick bite to eat like. Should I still go ahead? I don't know why, this has put me off slightly.
It was only some waffle place, I wouldn't go for a formal meal for a first date either. Should I still go?

@C1N1C The attitude of walking around a town centre as a date comes across as miserly. No one wants to date a miser. A coffee is fine though. The waffle costs about £7, so not a lot of money.

What £100 meal? It's a bloody cake 🤣

A walk sounds OK to me. I think I'd prefer chatting while walking rather than talking while trying to eat a waffle.

It would potentially be quieter while walking and if conversation is awkward then you can always talk about things you are seeing on the walk. "Look at those cute ducklings" seems better than "Look at those people eating waffles". 😂

Dating is about sussing out the other person. There's no glossing over that, particularly on a first date.

I hope it goes well whatever you decide about him and you enjoy your waffle.

And anyone talking about earning a meal is someone to swerve.

In principle I don’t think there’s anything wrong with suggesting a walk/stroll for a first meet up (but I would at least want to be in a nice setting and maybe grab a coffee).

I think he just made the whole thing awkward by first suggesting something to eat and then saying ‘oh let’s do a walk instead to see how we feel’ - is he just not sure he wants a waffle or does he want to see what you look like first before spending £6 on said waffle? If you’ve made a plan for a date you either stick to it or you cancel with notice.

I think you made the right choice in your response. I wouldn’t want to walk around my local city on a first date, I’d find it uncomfortable in case I bumped into someone honestly. What if it rains, what if he’s not chatty?

Yeah, I think that's the issue there

to earn a meal? Earn it?

1. It was coffee and a cake. While i might occasionally consider coffee and a slice of cake a meal, most sensible people wouldnt. And it absolutely wouldnt cost £100 in a coffee shop in Liverpool.
2. he now doesnt want to commit the time to the coffee and the cake. So op’s time is wasted.
3. who said op wasn't paying for herself?

Reminds me of my 95 year old grandma telling me to always pay for my meal so arsehole rapey men dont expect to have sex with me in exchange.

What have you done to earn that £100 meal?

If there's a £100 waffle out there I would like to meet it. Sod the bloke.

The walking aimlessly around the town centre definitely gives 14-year-old dating vibes. I'd probably counter-offer and say why don't we grab a drink first and see if we're hungry afterwards.

Yeah, this would put me off. Just so socially inept and transparent. Either say you're OK to go eat something and deal with it if it turns out you don't fancy me, or suggest something else entirely. But a walk is a shit first date anyway (and screams "don't want to spend money and possibly want to get you back to my place) and any man who's got this little game about it, making it so obvious he wants to check you our first...yuck. No thanks.

I’d say I’d changed my mind and I don’t want to meet up. If he can’t commit to a quick coffee and a snack with someone he doesn’t lust after mere seconds after meeting them he’s a wrong ‘un. It also suggests he doesn’t want to waste even a couple of quid doing so.

If I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt (I don’t), he could also have problems eating in company or a severely restricted diet - like he will only eat chips/cheese sandwiches. I know a couple of nice men who suddenly become upset and terrified when faced with a tomato garnish.

He's made it weird, turning it into an appraisal with a chance to progress to the next level at the end of a traipse around in the rain.

Which yes, is what dating is but not overtly.

Normally we commit to an activity, coffee, drink, dinner, whatever and then decide whether to do it again. Not openly have a circuit breaker halfway through. Too awkward for me, I think I would cancel. I'd want a man with some social graces.

Normally we commit to an activity, coffee, drink, dinner, whatever and then decide whether to do it again. Not openly have a circuit breaker halfway through. Too awkward for me, I think I would cancel. I'd want a man with some social graces.

This.

He asked her for "a bite" - she suggested a £5.99 waffle place

Where are you getting £100 "fancy meal" from - or was it a reading comprehension fail?

Yep, you’ve explained the issue perfectly. Even many women who are ok with walks for first dates - wouldn’t be happy with this particular arrangement. Walks are a thing some people do on first dates, but he’s made it weird by his lack of commitment/backtracking on the original activity.

I’ve met men like him before, not dated them thankfully - but spoke to them about their “concerns” with online dating. And if he is anything like they are - which I suspect he is - he is worried about if OP is more fat or less pretty in person.

So worried that he can’t commit to a £6 “meal”- ridiculous. I get we all have our preferences but is it the end of the world if the girl is fat? You can leave after the date and not go back!

There’s a saying that women’s biggest worry on first date is getting assaulted , whereas men’s is being catfished by a less attractive woman.

suggest bold street coffee instead. I’d even prefer McDonald’s.

i wouldnt like a walking date. Think it’s more awkward to go separate ways - what if your both parked in same place or getting the train! Awkward.

I did on line dating and some meets were a quick drink others were eating out. Just lower your expectations.. they never look like their pics 😂

What you don't understand that a walk and a waffle is neither money grabbing nor likely to cost £100. Where do you go for waffles??

Oh there’s an art exhibition in the Anglican. That’s sort of like a walk but with a focus. Less intense I think. It’s on until the 2nd.

Is this a joke? On what planet should a woman 'earn' the right to a reasonably interesting first date? How could she 'earn' this before meeting him?

She didn't suggest he should pay. Or, as PP have said, that it should be an expensive 3 course meal. He's dithering and wants to check OP out in case she isn't enough of his type to merit half an hour of his time and £5 of his money on a waffle ( that's just the cost of him him paying his way, while she pays hers, in case you think she should also 'earn' the right to being offered a waffle by a man who has asked her out. To me that suggests a man who is mean in every way - financially, with his time, with his emotions, with his appreciation of women as people not trophies. I would run a mile from such a man. And I love walking dates. If a man suggested a walk around a beautiful park, with a coffee at a pretty cafe, that would be a fine first date. But he's making sure he finds a woman who expects no effort right from the start.

It's a fucking £7 waffle not dinner at The Ivy ( London ) or afternoon tea at The Ritz, a fucking waffle and he can't commit to that !

He wants to walk the streets of Liverpool ! how exciting - not ! where does he propose walking ? along the river to admire the ships or thru a shopping street and window shopping ?

A fucking waffle that if it were my daughter on this date would have eaten in less than 10 mins, and drunk her chocolate milkshake too !

in and out, 30 mins max !

just like it would be if they met for a coffee and one chose to have cake with that coffee

or a cocktail in a bar - easily done in 30 mins.

Maybe it's the WAFFLE he is having the problem with - maybe he doesn't like them, or maybe he's never had one ?!!!

Sounds a bit awkward. I’d bin him.

I am now enraged on your behalf - if you couldn't tell :)

And the good thing about the Anglican is it’s half hour free parking. You could say ok gotta go free parking is over and you’re not worth the extra.

😏😂