To think he's said this in case he doesn't want to eat with me?

[Ceeeeee]

I made a profile on an app and some guy's asked me out for a bite to eat. I said yes, and we've agreed to meet this weekend.
Now he's said shall we have a short walk first before the food to 'see how we feel'?

That's obviously code for, I'll see if I fancy you and if not I don't have to eat with you. It wasn't a fancy sit down meal, just a quick bite to eat like. Should I still go ahead? I don't know why, this has put me off slightly.
It was only some waffle place, I wouldn't go for a formal meal for a first date either. Should I still go?

Tell him you were only meeting for the food and now he's good and fucked it up, lol!

I wonder if he's been given some advice by a friend that you might be more comfortable meeting before eating so you're not stuck with him if you're not feeling it, rather than he doesn't want to be stuck with you if he's not feeling it? I dunno I think he might be trying to be considerate rather than a twat. No idea why I think this though as most men I've dated have been twats lol

Oh come on now, it's not as if there is nothing to see in the streets of Liverpool is there? Why not see if there's anything going on in Chavasse Park then walk down to Albert Dock? Not too far from the bus station either, if you need it. You could get a coffee and sit on the steps of the bombed out church - you're bound to see some 'interesting' people to talk about.

Many people are tightening their belts atm and dating seems like an expensive business.

I wouldn't like this either tbh. I did agree to one walking date but that was around a local lake that I know well and which is always really busy so didn't feel vulnerable. We met at the pub on the lake and had a drink first, then a second drink, then decided to stay for dinner! It was a great date but I didn't hear from him again afterwards so who knows what that was about!

But mostly it was coffee or a drink and if you don't like them you have one and say "it was nice to meet you" and leave. A walk to suss out whether its worth spending £6 on a snack is tight and unattractive and I'd probably rearrange/decline at that point. Yes its a sensible idea not to jump right in to a 4 course meal, but he's made it so obvious he's deciding whether you measure up that he's clearly got no subtly or sensitivity, which doesn't bode well for a relationship.

Love this! "Damn, I was really looking forward to that waffle"

Full disclosure: I think walks for dates are utterly shit and wouldn’t go on one.

However, suggesting a ‘bite’ then saying a walk first to see how you feel is ridiculous - what happens at the end?

‘sorry love - not my bag. Laters!’

Yuk.

Apart from anything else I’d be put off by his obvious stupidity. The reasonable suggestion is ‘walk’ and then extend to coffee/waffles etc if you’re getting on well.

I would find this a bit off putting tbh. He's down graded your date....

I only used to go out and eat, but now I get coffee!! It's great cos you can grab a drink and if things are going well, go elsewhere for food or grab something in the cafe.
I suggest taking a reusable cup with you amd get your coffee in that so if he's a waster you can up and leave ;)

Personally I'd wonder if he was skint.

I'd also not like the fact it's obvious he's checking first, like it's a bit of a crush to go on a walk and then see you later after.

I'd do as a pp and say actually a quick half would be better. Public and no chance of back lanes.

If you don’t want to then don’t, there is no point doing something that makes you uncomfortable. There will be plenty of men who would love to have a waffle with you!! Dating should be fun

Personally I don’t mind a walking date somewhere nice like the sea, river, park etc. but not when it’s basically an interview before I’m allowed to progress to the real date! Cheek of these men

Exactly, absolute cheek. Even if I go and he decides on this 'walk' that I don't meet his standard then I'll still be going for the waffle alone, I don't need him there lol

I'm loving reading these posts from women who actually have standards when it comes to dating, makes a refreshing change 😊

Just say you don’t fancy traipsing round town, but a walk by the river with a coffee might be nice instead of eating. I definitely wouldn’t agree to a walk so he can suss you out prior to potentially having a waffle with you! What knobhead suggests that?

Absolute no. You've got three weatherspoons if he is a bit short. £1.75 refillable coffee. Or the pound bakery cafe. It's going to be pissing down all week. We aren't that short of fellas that you have to put up with a walk around town as a first date.

It's the clinical nature of what he's wanting to do that's off putting. Yes on a first date both sides are appraising each other but it's not usual to spell it out quite so clearly in words of one syllable. You're not going to feel natural knowing that every move and word is being assessed and given a score out of 10.

Do you want to meet someone who has such a transactional side to them? Because they presumably apply this logic to other things too, it could get very tedious if you never know if he's being genuine or still giving you marks out of 10 to see if it's worth continuing.

On the whole I'd throw him back, but on the other hand I'd love it if you met up, he decided you were a 10 but then you declined the waffle with him*. Serve him right.

*Then go to the waffle place on your own. Bonus points if he sees you in there.

I would never go for a walk with a man I don't know it's just not safe I e learnt that lesson enough times in my life

I've always found dates incredibly awkward. Whether it's for food or drinks, it's the sitting across from one another asking unnatural questions. It always feels like an interview and I can't relax and be myself. So to be honest, a walk sounds nicer. If you know the area you could suggest some places to walk by? If its a park, walk to some of the nicer bits. It just feels like you could have a more natural conversation to me.

Why can’t you say ‘No, I don’t fancy a walk first’? Why is it up to him?

Personally, hate eating with strangers so I think it’s a good idea.

How tight can you get - who’s not worth a waffle?

I probably wouldn't even bother replying to this
It's about all the answer it deserves.

Do you still want to meet him? Was the initial talking online interesting enough to pursue meeting him despite this shit date suggestion? If yes then simply say…no date walks for me. Don’t give a reason. Ask…would you like to meet at “coffee place or cocktail bar”? If you are lukewarm then simply say…no date walks for me. There was a very recent thread where the op was dropped after walk and it was upsetting to her and to read. And I agree with you…I’m plenty attractive enough to pass the walk test so I’m simply not taking it. He goes for coffee or cocktail or he’s going to be way to cheap for me (and you op) to even consider a future date with.

I kind of agree about the date, traipsing around a city centre isn’t exactly a walk along the seafront. But aside from that you don’t like dating and don’t really seem that arsed about him, so I’m wondering why you’re bothering going at all (regardless of activity)? Sounds like a waste of an afternoon when you could be doing something you want to do.

Walk around the Albert dock - nice circuit and nice surroundings and you can stop for.coffee at lots of places.

A walk for a first meetup is a pain tbh, particularly if there is no clear aim in sight.
I used to always prefer coffee during the day, it's quick enough if you don't feel it and easy to get out of. Occasionally I've done early evening drinks, but making it clear I had plans after.

Waffle might seem easy, but food is a trap in my experience. You don't know how much the other person is going to order, how long it would take for it to be served, and how fast they are eating. I once got stuck 2.5h with a depressive 30 something at Patisserie Valerie playing therapist - NEVER AGAIN!

Yeah I’m with you, I wouldn’t agree with this. It’s low effort.

Let’s face it women typically spend more time getting ready for a first date than men. It’s unacceptable for me to do all that for a walk (on a first date) , and he could even at least have suggested you grab coffee and a walk?

And the worst part of this is he is basically assessing if you’re worth it to take forward to the next part of the date and he essentially backtracked. I think it all speak volumes about him so I wouldn’t bother.

ETA: The first guy I dated from an app met me for coffee & a snack first at a cafe . He had booked a table for dinner later but the pre- date coffee was my suggestion. We spoke for like 2/3 hours then had a nice walk to dinner with a stop on the way to visit a bookshop. I’d never have suggested a pre-date meet that was just a walk though and not if the next stage was a waffle

We did date for several months and he was a lovely generous guy and I think he set the tone right from the first date. Men get worse not better so just bear that in mind