To think he's said this in case he doesn't want to eat with me?

[Ceeeeee]

I made a profile on an app and some guy's asked me out for a bite to eat. I said yes, and we've agreed to meet this weekend.
Now he's said shall we have a short walk first before the food to 'see how we feel'?

That's obviously code for, I'll see if I fancy you and if not I don't have to eat with you. It wasn't a fancy sit down meal, just a quick bite to eat like. Should I still go ahead? I don't know why, this has put me off slightly.
It was only some waffle place, I wouldn't go for a formal meal for a first date either. Should I still go?

Why not suggest a video call first? If you can be bothered at all now, that's kind of where he's at.

Better you met for coffee or tea instead of a walk or a meal.

Then you can just have a meal after and a walk, if you like each other

Tbh, I think it depends how you view online dating really.

Everyone is chatting with/meeting several people. Ididjt really want to go for a meal on a first meet.

I used to liken it to meeting people in bars. You might chat to several people across the course of an evening but you wouldn't want to go for dinner with all of them. They're not really dates. And of course you're being 'sussed out'. Just as they are.

I went on two 'dinner dates' as a first meet and found them both a little awkward tbh. Conversation flowed well enough but it seemed too 'big'. I preferred a walk or a meet in the pub for a drink and a chat and then the option for also ordering food was there if the date was going well or you were just enjoying each other's company.

Let’s face it women typically spend more time getting ready for a first date than men. It’s unacceptable for me to do all that for a walk (on a first date) , and he could even at least have suggested you grab coffee and a walk?

I don't know. A walk doesn't really require much effort in terms of getting ready does it?

It makes it easier if anything.

Oh I’d just say ‘thanks, my wandering round town days are over though, sorry! No problems if you don’t fancy the coffee shop, happy to go alone’

That’s fine. There will be plenty more offers!

He’ll find someone who is up for walking first dates and you’ll find someone who wants to sit down for a drink or a quick bite to eat.

Honestly, it’s not being petty at all - if he doesn’t want to go straight to the waffle place just let him go.

He was the one who changed the plan!

I did one walking date when I was dating but that was in a lovely park with some coffee in the morning. If someone had already asked me for a quick bite and then changed it to a walk I would have said no as that's just stupid.

For me it worked better that I was having a phone call before I agreed on meeting face to face. That way I got rid of those who I definitely wasn't getting along IRL. Do you think this could be something to try?

It could be something he's doing to be considerate? Like he doesn't want you to feel awkward and trapped in the restaurant. It just seems like a sensible ides to me.

Does he live on a time warp and still thinks it's covid lockdown?

Sod that, going to a coffee shop and seeing someone in that situation where you can actually look at each others faces for 25 mins tells me much more than aimlessly walking - he didn't even suggest a proper location? Might want to scope you out and then skip the 'date' / walk if he doesn't think you are worth even that effort.

Next!

Well it’s a waffle they’re going for not a 3 course meal or a formal dinner, so I don’t see why either would feel trapped. If the date isn’t going well you can just politely leave after an hour or even less.

And if he’s suggesting a pre-walk out of consideration for Op, which I doubt, he will be okay with dropping it then when she lets him know she’s not up for the idea.

I think communication is key here though. OP needs to tell him she doesn’t like the recent change to plans.

I'd cancel. Vibes are off with that one.

I've messaged suggesting a drink and saying that I'll be going to the waffle place afterwards regardless. No way he's stopping me going lol

All this before he can commit to a waffle?

Just say no 🤦🏾‍♀️

See me and him would get on well.

Even though I’d love a waffle, I find it awkward to sit opposite someone and try and make conversation.

I would 100% be up for a stroll around town just having a casual chat, rather than what feels like an interview.

I think in this case a compromise of a drink, potentially meeting and walking to the coffee shop first, is the best idea.

I think you’re taking it too personally about him wanting to sus you out because that’s exactly what you’re both doing.

I’m like you though.
I’m up for meeting someone and starting a relationship but I absolutely hate dating!

Is it a timing thing? Like you're meeting at 11 so funny time to eat so go for a walk and then think about lunch?

Why? Why waste another moment on such a loser? Go and enjoy your waffle alone. You might end up sharing a table with a gorgeous, kind, single, fellow genuine waffle lover.

I would not want to date someone with eating issues.

Exactly the amount of people of people who think it's normal to be anxious to eat in front of strangers is worrying

Maybe it is common? But that is not an issue I would want to deal with.

I much prefer a walk to sitting across the table from someone for a first online date, it just feels less awkward for me. However, I would be annoyed at him initially suggesting getting some food and then changing his mind and suggesting a walk. That would be enough for me to just unmatch and meet someone else instead.

Even though I’d love a waffle, I find it awkward to sit opposite someone and try and make conversation.I would 100% be up for a stroll around town just having a casual chat, rather than what feels like an interview.

But he potentially wants to go for a waffle afterwards. So that’s different from what you are saying. It doesn’t sound like he finds it too awkward or he would just scrap that part altogether.

Vast majority of first date situations will involve sitting next to or opposite someone making conversation. I’m quite introverted myself but if someone wasn’t capable of that I’d realise we weren’t a match.

Exactly the amount of people of people who think it's normal to be anxious to eat in front of strangers is worrying

Personally I have zero problem with doing that 😆 I ate a 3 course meal on a first date! My date did too lol

Outside of date situations I wouldn’t give it a second thought either eg. Work conferences, group tours on holiday where lunch is included.

I once was talking to a guy who never seemed to eat much - went to gym for hours and yet would eat once or twice a day at most. Had a very limited palette (rice, chicken breast, liver and repeat) He reckoned I ate a lot because I eat 3 meals a day and a snack . I decided we were never going to be a thing, he clearly had food issues and I was not going to let him pass that on to me! I mean I probably did eat too much as my portions were big 😄but he didn’t know that as he hadn’t seen them so he was just judging on the basis of me eating 3 meals. I thought that was weird.

I don't understand this money-grabbing attitude of wanting something fancy on a first date, unless you're willing to go 50:50 without quibble. A walk and a coffee is perfect; you just want to see if you click that first time with a convenient escape after.

Anyone who says 'they deserve more' doesn't deserve a nice guy, because they're already setting the precedent for believing they are 'better' in the relationship. What have you done to earn that £100 meal?

Agreed, but it sounds like he might be thinking of walking up and down Church street.

If a bloke asks me to go for a walk with him before a date to see if he likes the merchandise before spending his money he'd be dumped immediately.
I'm expecting some level of courtesy from a man I date and if he can't even sit down for a coffee and a chat then no thank you.
If we don't like each other then we can part with dignity.
Honestly it's a real cattle market but people don't seem to have even basic manners anymore.
Have more respect for yourself.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣