Telling in-laws about pregnancy at a milestone birthday?

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So 100% get not announcing a pregnancy at a wedding/someone else’s event etc. But this is in-laws we are travelling up to see for an informal birthday event, but a milestone birthday. Event isn’t the day of birthday and is a drop in/out type thing. We want to tell them first before other family members, so wondering how it would go down if we told them at a time there was no one else there apart from us? They wouldn’t have to tell anyone else, or would it over shadow their day? We are travelling on afterwards and won’t see them in person for another few months maybe so it would be over the phone if not then.
YABU - don’t tell them in person, wait and tell them over the phone
YANBU - tell them if you see them with no one else there

Phone them up and tell them.

Don’t make their celebration about you, let them do that if you are happy for them to share your news.

Assuming they're going to be pleased then I think that's fine. It's not like you're standing up during the speech at a big family birthday meal.

Obviously if there's some reason they wouldn't be thrilled, maybe not then!

I think the way you plan to do it makes sense. Congratulations!

Depends on who they are. I would be thrilled, my mum would have been thrilled, some people will accuse you of taking their day.

I think this would be fine. But I guess DH might be the best person to judge how his parents will react?

So 100% get not announcing a pregnancy at a wedding/someone else’s event etc. But this is in-laws we are travelling up to see for an informal birthday event, but a milestone birthday. Event

Bit of a contradiction 😄 I’d tell them, just the 2 of them if you get there before anyone else. Surely they’ll be delighted and it will be a great birthday gift!

I can't imagine why they won't be delighted. Tell them with plenty of time to talk about it before anyone else gets there!

Just tell them. It's nice news, not earth-shattering. Like a birthday is a nice event and not a gigantically important thing either. Anyone normal would be happy with hearing it

Tell them before you travel up for the birthday. Otherwise even if you tell them at the birthday while no one os around, the conversation will go towards your news not the birthday event.

The day is not about you. Phone them before the event. Then they can make a fuss in person if they want to.

Just announce it before. It's stealing the limelight even if it's not a big birthday. Some people will care/some won't but better to tell them before.

Mentioning some news isn't making it about them. And anyone upset by their birthday including some news from other family is behaving in a very silly manner.

People overthink this stuff so much and make such an unnecessary big deal of it.

People on Mumsnet are so previous about be ‘overshadowed’. It’s just a birthday. I can’t imagine that anyone would mind hearing such joyful news on the day of their birthday event. Icing on the cake!

I wouldn't. For three main reasons - it gives them something they'll want to talk about, and they can't, which seems a bit rubbish.

It is still someone else's event, even if it's not a formal event.

And lastly - because my DH did this, at his own birthday meal. He thought his parents would be thrilled, they'd been asking us about children forever. They took it REALLY strangely. His mum went quiet for about 5 minutes and then cried for a while, and his Dad just sat there and then started talking about disciplining them young 😵‍💫 Absolutely out of character and not what DH had expected. It overshadowed his birthday, and made him feel very odd about it.

But even if they do react as you'd expect, you're giving them a secret to keep right before they meet the other people that they'd presumably like to tell... which doesn't seem in their best interests.

It is a nice thing unless there is some reason they wouldn't welcome the news. I'd think it was a lovely thing to find out on my birthday, a very special "present" indeed.

Wow what weird reactions. Did they get over it, were they happy when baby arrived?

The idea was going to be a card/gift as it’s their first grandchild from us, they have lots of other grandchildren. So not their first etc. But I get what people are saying and I think DH doesn’t expect a glowing reaction so maybe that’s why he wants to tell them on the phone. We’d planned to tell them in person and have waited to do so, but he’s been unsure today.
It isn’t an event anywhere/meal it’s just a drop into the house if you want to kind of thing.

Just tell them now.

Haven’t you wanted to tell someone in real life something rather than over the phone? If we’re telling them on the phone then it will be afterwards. We’ll just tell the other people as planned when we’ve gone onto see them afterwards, they are people I want to tell in person and that is a fixed time point that we’re seeing them after the event.

If it's your DH's parents and he wants to tell them over the phone I would go with that.

You want to tell them in real life but not actually tell them, you want to do it via the medium of a gift/card? Or did I misunderstand.

Wait to tell them in person if you want but just tell them. Don't faff about trying to make it a thing.

I think if you need to ask it probably indicates you shouldn’t do it. If I was pregnant (no fucking way!) then I’d think absolutely nothing of telling mine or DH’s mum or dad on their big milestone birthday because they’d be absolutely fucking delighted and it would be a wonderful birthday present. If you’re hesitant then you and DH presumably suspect differently.

Video call them beforehand and tell them

Will you still be there at the end of the event? You could always wait until everyone has gone home to mention it? That way it's not asking them to keep the secret during the event.

Although if your DH isn't sure how they will react, the a phone call is probably safer!

It's your DH's parents so I'd go with his plan to tell them on the phone.

(I think most people would be thrilled but he knows them best and sometimes even when people are actually thrilled they can react in odd ways.)