Friend bought doubles when I asked for singles

[Neeemo]

I went to the pub last night with a close friend. We were there from about 7 until about 11. Had 5 drinks, so about one every hour with water in between. She bought all the drinks as I had paid for our food. I was drinking rum and coke. Every time she got me one, she asked if I wanted a single or double, and I said single. She went outside to take a phonecall so I went to the bar to get some more water. Barman said 'two double rum and cokes again?'. After asking it turned out she'd been buying me doubles all night when I asked for singles. I had even made a comment earlier that the rum was super strong but she brushed it off. When I asked her she said she thought I was asking for singles because I felt bad about the cost so got me 'sneaky doubles'.

AIBU to think this wasn't OK?

This definitely wasn't OK.
There are lots of reasons why people want to limit their alcohol intake and none of them are frivolous.
Her deliberately conniving to get you to drink more than you wanted or intended to could have had serious consequences for you.
What she did is at best thoughtless behaviour. It could be seen as deliberate sabotage. It certainly isn't the act of a true friend.

I’d be so angry.

Also, if I’d had 10 shots of rum, I’d be dying today.

I actually feel OK but I did feel quite drunk last night and put it down to not drinking much over the last few months.

Not ok. I would be very annoyed.

They wouldn't be my friend anymore that's for certain.

Definition not ok.

A friend did the same to me and I ended up getting absolutely smashed and had to go home at 9.30. I was on meds and they reacted with the alcohol. It was Zantac which you can't buy any longer, I believe one of the reasons was because of this. My friend thought it was hilarious but I ended up vomiting all night and even in my sleep. She was lucky I didn't choke on it. We never really got back to normal after that.

What was she thinking!! If you were going to the effort of alternating your drinks with water then it's very clear you were pacing yourself and trying to limit your alcohol intake. Very sneaky thing to do, I'd be concerned at what her motives could be. Not sure I could trust her again.

No it's not ok.

The only reason I've bought people doubles at a pub/bar is because it's happy hour. Even then I tell them exactly why.

Don't go to a pub or bar with this "friend" anymore as she risks poisoning you.

I'm not sure how to approach it with her. She knows I'm annoyed with her.

She sounds well-intentioned, but it's not on. The reason behind you asking isn't relevant; the relevant factor is that she asked, you responded, and then she thought it was on her to override your wishes. If she'd asked you what dessert you wanted, you said the chocolate cake, would she have gone, 'hmm, Neeemo must be trying to save money; obviously she really wants the baklava; I'll get her that'?

Of course YANBU. Really not on to do this to someone. Could be more intoxicated than you realise, not thinking clearly and could get yourself into dangerous situations. I have had this done to me 'for a laugh' but fortunately met up with OH afterwards who took me home.

I think you have to be straight with her and tell her you are really unhappy with what she did and if she is so hung up on balancing costs then perhaps it would be better if you each paid for yourselves in future.

She probably was well intentioned but that doesn't make it OK. If she's a decent person she will apologise for making an assumption rather than become defensive because she thinks you are being ungrateful for her unsolicited "generosity".

She was trying to be generous and nice and she got it wrong.

If I were you, I would just say- I'm trying not to drink too much, and I probably would tell her why

I couldn't get properly annoyed about this! surely you could tell how tipsy you were getting and stopped ordering more! Kind of thing my friends do but just being generous.

She was wrong but let's face it, a single measure by the time it’s had half a pint of coke and half a bag of ice added barely tastes of alcohol.

It’s not Ok because you need to know what you’re drinking! If she thought you were just being sheepish, she should have said when she got back from the bar. And then you could pace yourself.

Yes mine too - and we’d all fine it generous and nice. But we’d say after bring the drink back!

Yeah I'd be pissed off

It's clearly as if she knows better

I wouldn't like this. I often have a hard enough time being sensible and actually going home after one or two drinks, without someone else sabotaging my limited intake for me.

I coykdbt get worked up about this. She probably thought she was being kind and you were turning down doubles to save money. While you might be annoyed, I don't think she meant any bad intentions.

YANBU, however this is very common, my friends do it as well. It wouldn't spoil my friendship, but I'd be clear with her that you are angry and upset about it, and will be going to the bar in future.

100% what she said.

I’d be annoyed and tell her to just be honest in future/ listen to you but if she’s otherwise a good friend I would move past it for sure. I think she had good intentions so couldn’t lose the friendship over it

Id a friend do that to me, I countered it by every time it was my round I just bought a tonic water rather than a gin and Tonic for myself. But if she’s doing all rounds it’s not counteractaboe. I find it totally unacceptable.