Friend bought doubles when I asked for singles

[Neeemo]

I went to the pub last night with a close friend. We were there from about 7 until about 11. Had 5 drinks, so about one every hour with water in between. She bought all the drinks as I had paid for our food. I was drinking rum and coke. Every time she got me one, she asked if I wanted a single or double, and I said single. She went outside to take a phonecall so I went to the bar to get some more water. Barman said 'two double rum and cokes again?'. After asking it turned out she'd been buying me doubles all night when I asked for singles. I had even made a comment earlier that the rum was super strong but she brushed it off. When I asked her she said she thought I was asking for singles because I felt bad about the cost so got me 'sneaky doubles'.

AIBU to think this wasn't OK?

Some very dramatic replies on here. She was trying to be generous and didn’t want money to be an issue. Just have a quiet word with her next time you’re out to let her know a single means single. No doubt a MN’er will be on soon to tell you to phone the police 🙃.

Don’t be so melodramatic 🤣

Spiking is very different.
I think I'm responsible for myself. Even if I thought the drinks were singles, when I start to feel drunk I could choose to move to a soft drink. Or stop drinking altogether. I don't do it by the number of drinks I have, alcohol has a different effect each time I drink .

Send her to me OP. All my mates do exactly the opposite.

Oh ffs, the accusation of drink spiking is absolutely wild! In my opinion she was being generous! Who on earth buys singles, by the time they've added the ice and mixer, it barely tastes of alcohol! I don't think I've ever asked for a single so I automatically say "double g & t please", perhaps it was the same for your friend.

The friend ASKED OP what she wanted. Then ignored her choice.

As others have pointed out, if OP had been driving first thing next morning, she'd have been over the limit. And that isn't funny.

It isn't the crime of the century but it obviously isn't okay.
I like to keep track of my alcohol intake as I know my limit and don't want to end up very ill the next day as I'm a lightweight. Whatever her motive, she was completely in the wrong.

She thought you didn't want to ask for doubles because she was paying. She was double guessing and got it wrong, just tell her in future if you say singles you really mean singles, you're not being polite.

I drink small wines. When people get me large wines I throw half of it away in front of them and they don't do it again.

"Even if I thought the drinks were singles, when I start to feel drunk I could choose to move to a soft drink. "

There can be a delayed reaction. People should know what they're drinking.

im sure they don’t… bit unnecessary don’t you think? You could always just not drink all of it…

I don’t really understand why she specifically asked you single or double if she was just going to buy doubles anyway. However, I think she possibly didn’t think it through and thought she was being generous. I’d make it clear to her that next time if you ask for a single then that’s what you want - I wouldn’t fall out over it.

If it's in front of me, I'll end up drinking it. I only throw away when it's a repeat offence.

There isn't a Scottish/English divide on this. Any pub can sell in multiples of 25ml or multiples if 35ml they just can't sell both.

35ml is becoming increasingly common everywhere

When you say never do it again you mean they never buy you another drink ever again and also inexplicably haven't spoken to you in years?

Definitely not ok. And not kind or generous. Does she have a drink problem or alcohol issues?

That's not okay. At all.

Alcohol intake can be dangerous, and by doing this, she was jeopardising you health and safety potentially.

It IS spiking, its knowingly giving something that alters their state of mind, without consent.

Wtf is wrong with some people in this thread?

Literally, giving someone something they aren't aware of that alters their state, is spiking. Whether its a good female friend or a stranger...

It would have been entirely different if she'd turned up with the drinks and said "I got you a double anyway". At least then she would be giving OP the information she needed to be in control of her own alcohol intake through the evening.

But it was deceitful to do it on the quiet, and I don't really know what the friend got out of that.

A local Bar man did this to me the night before my first Alevel exam. I said I wasn't drinking so he sneakily added vodka to my drink.

I think just tell her straight. I know you were trying to be generous but you should have told me because I need to be able to trust my friends with something as basic as what’s in the food or drink they’re giving me. Please don’t do that again because I want to make my own choices about how much I drink

This.... you got to let people know.

It is spiking. It's putting (more) alcohol in someone's drink without their consent or permission. You can laugh all you want but as a former bartender I've had to deal with the outcomes of "friends" doing this and someone ending up waiting for an ambulance. On more than one occasion

I'm surprised that people wouldn't notice a double, or notice that they were getting twice as munted as normal but I am a proper lightweight so maybe more sensitive than others

I don't think there's much in the taste between singles and doubles. Triples however....