Pulling my hair is weird behaviour?

[thelastgoodbye]

This bank holiday I went on a weekend away for my friends birthday, I know most of the people going but not all.

We got the train down and we’re all sat on the tables of 4 next to each other. They started talking about how they were doing their hair that evening and one had extensions and she said how difficult it was to style as her hair was so heavy. I simply agreed with her that yes when I had mine I had the same issue.

One of the women I don’t know, looked at me and said actually you can see your extensions, leaned across from the other table and yanked on my hair. I just looked at her bewildered and said “that’s my real hair, I don’t have extensions in anymore”

Aibu to think this is just odd behaviour? It was like she was trying to embarrass me

Kinda just sounds like mates being mates and being a bit silly on a trip away. But you were there, so you saw the factual expression and heard the tone of voice. It could easily go the other way and be a bit of an asshole/smug move.

I think she embarrassed herself

How’s it mates being mates, I literally said I don’t know her.

I had a friend do this to me, but with my clothes size - she yanked the label out of the back of my jeans infront of everybody. It’s the way she was. In the long term none of us are friends with her anymore, because she was generally a PITA.
As you didn’t know this woman, she’s probably that type of person. Just be glad she’s not actually your friend!

You were all going to the same place with the same people, she was trying for banter to try and break the ice for the weekend. It didn't work. It's one of those things. If an actual friend had done it, would you be so annoyed? I doubt it.

Yes, it’s odd to do to someone you don’t know. Said quietly and discreetly to a friend is one thing.

If one of my closest mates had told me I was wearing shit hair extensions (because that's what people are implying if they say they can see them) and reached over and yanked on my hair to try and prove it, I'd think they were being really out of order. If someone I'd only just met did it, I'd be telling them to fuck off.

It's really rude and invasive behaviour. Maybe she's socially clueless and thought it would be 'banter' (eyeroll) but it sounds a lot more to me like she's one of those appalling people who bangs on about 'telling it like it is' and 'calling a spade a spade' as an excuse to be a complete cow.

Even if you did have extensions in, what the fuck was she thinking she'd achieve by pulling on them? That she'd pull one out?

On a work night out once, someone who I'd never exchanged more than a couple of 'Morning, did you have a nice weekend?' pleasantries with said 'Oh, what's this you've had scribbled on to your back?' and proceeded to grab the back of my top and pull it down to have a look at my upper back tattoo. The hair thing, to me, sounds like similarly invasive and rude behaviour.

This is what I was thinking too. Who the fuck does that? And what was she hoping to achieve, was she trying to embarrass you?!

How was she the rest of the weekend?

If she thought you had extensions, was she actually trying to pull them out?

Because you were all going out together. It’s playfulness/messing around/silliness. Doesn’t matter that you don’t know her.

People think I dye my hair, I don't. This is a bit odd, but I'm guessing a large group of women, possibly drinking, hyped up, I don't think this is such a strange thing to do.

Have you pulled the hair, extensions or other wise, of many women that you don't know? Or have you had yours pulled often?

I've had my hair touched quite a lot when abroad, happens less now that people see international media and realise it's not unusual to have red hair!

But the thing is I don’t have extensions in my hair. So what needs to be said discreetly?

Just to clarify, I currently have zero extensions in my hair. So I have no idea why she said she could tell I have extensions in and yanked on my real hair.

To tell someone (you don’t know) you can see their extensions (which clearly you can’t if they don’t have any in) and then leaning across to yank on their hair? Ok .., well you and her would be a good friends then.

Yeah, that is very rude of her. It’s not playful or silly.

Again, I had zero extensions in. So I have zero idea what she saw and to say in front of everyone she could see them is just …

Even if I’d had extensions in, yanking on them is going to pull it out. So did she think it was ok to damage my hair?

I don’t yank peoples hair. It’s invasive and odd behaviour. It’s wild to me that so many people condone this.

We should group you together so you can sit in a group pulling on each others hair because it’s just silliness.

Oh Jesus. Get over it. And stop going on about “all you lot who pull each other’s hair should be grouped together.” No one said anything about that one specific action being a thing people do, but in a general sense of messing around, a lot of people are very tactile and use it to display silliness and bonding.

Just get over it. You must be very high strung and you’re reaction, being this annoyed, is way over the top.

She's probably cringing. Whatever her (lack of) thought process, she tried to 'prove' you had hair extensions and you don't, so now she looks like an utter moron. Don't overthink it, this is on her.

Not to mention that if you had have had micro-ring or clip-in extensions in, pulling on them can actually really hurt!
My hair is very very fine and thin and I used to wear extensions a lot more often than I do now, it gave me a bit more confidence.
My hair has actually improved a lot recently but I'd give it a break from 'real' extensions from time-to-time, and just use clip ins. Because my hair was/is so fine, any pulling on them yanked at the fine hair they were clipped to and was so painful! It would have really hurt me if someone had have done what this woman did. Rude IMO. Yes be glad you don't have to spend a lot of time with her.

Yes it was a weird thing to do and I would have called it out then and there and moved on.

The fact that you are so bothered by it you posted about it days later and your responses are pretty snippy for what was a one off, random weird moment, is also weird.

Yes it was odd. But so is your overreaction. Move on.

Some really bizarre responses. Sounds like she was trying to assert herself as an alpha and embarrass the OP. So glad it backfired!

Well, she only embarrassed herself. Good job she's not someone you have to put up with all the time.