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Original poster

Pulling my hair is weird behaviour?

145 replies

thelastgoodbye · 28/05/2024 11:10

This bank holiday I went on a weekend away for my friends birthday, I know most of the people going but not all.

We got the train down and we’re all sat on the tables of 4 next to each other. They started talking about how they were doing their hair that evening and one had extensions and she said how difficult it was to style as her hair was so heavy. I simply agreed with her that yes when I had mine I had the same issue.

One of the women I don’t know, looked at me and said actually you can see your extensions, leaned across from the other table and yanked on my hair. I just looked at her bewildered and said “that’s my real hair, I don’t have extensions in anymore”

Aibu to think this is just odd behaviour? It was like she was trying to embarrass me

OP posts:
TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 31/05/2024 15:01

I agree. If you need to tell someone to "lighten up" or that "it's only banter" then your 'joke' was never funny in the first place, and was probably just disguised bullying.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 31/05/2024 15:54

Viviennemary · 31/05/2024 08:59

She was in your small group. It was a bit forward and rude. But maybe the dynamics were casual and she felt she could do this on a matey basis.

More likely asserting her dominance

LazyGewl · 31/05/2024 16:06

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 31/05/2024 14:50

I'm glad I'm not mates with you! Since when do mates go around pulling each other's hair? Especially if they think there might be extensions, which would come out when pulled?

This has got echoes of "He's only being mean because he fancies you!" In other words, it's bullshit.

It doesn't matter how casual or relaxed an environment is, pulling someone's hair is weirdo behaviour, and it's assault. And what she said about the (nonexistent) extensions was catty beyond belief.

This was a straightforward attempt at bullying the OP. Trying to make the OP feel awkward and establish herself higher up in the pecking order.

Show quote history

And OP wasn't mates with this person. it's weird to me that people don't think it's ok not to respect someone's personal space.

GruffaloBill · 31/05/2024 16:55

This reminds me of a work 'friend' grabbing my hair in front of colleagues to announce to everyone how it was in really shit condition.. a completely unasked for opinion! I was too easygoing back then, and didn't notice how much she negged me.
The woman was definitely trying to embarrass you/show off to everyone else OP. Please tell us why they got banned 😆

CountessWindyBottom · 31/05/2024 17:35

thelastgoodbye · 31/05/2024 09:46

Too much. 90% of the group got a ban from Premier Inn.

Show quote history

Please please please start a thread about this. I feel I need details.

I think this woman was inappropriate. It's just a very strange thing to do. It was either an idiotic piss take that fell flat or she was a crazy bitch who thought she could yank one of your (non existent) extension out. Was she pissed?

TortolaParadise · 31/05/2024 20:59

Yes, trying to embarrass you.

McrWife · 31/05/2024 21:33

When she yanked on your hair you should have farted at her

Toenailz · 01/06/2024 00:36

She was being really unpleasant and bitchy.
Don't understand women like this.

swattongemz · 01/06/2024 18:21

I think they are totally rude doing that to you. It's invading your personal space and they didn't know you so should not have touched you. Imagine you were bald and covering your head with a wig instead,or had alopecia and was trying to hide it. I would go mental in my mind. How dare she. I would of politely said to her ...Please do not touch me or invade my personal space or privacy.
You are completely allowed to feel annoyed and it was wrong of her to do that.

Ilovecleaning · 01/06/2024 18:28

Rude bitch who doesn’t know how to behave.

Sillyname63 · 01/06/2024 19:49

Did she apologise for yanking your hair? How did she treat you the rest of the weekend? If she apologised I would at least feel a bit better, but if she didn't and continued to be loud and slightly aggressive the rest of the weekend I would say she is stupid idiot who let's her mouth run away with her. I would feel a bit pissed off myself TBH.

Royaly82 · 01/06/2024 21:15

Sounds almost like she was trying to embarrass you by trying catch you out (but embarrassed herself instead because she was so wrong) and also she was maybe a bit jealous and implying that your hair was too nice/long/thick to be your own.

Sennelier1 · 01/06/2024 21:47

I think it's very rude and also weird. Some people will try everything to make you feel out of balance if even for a moment. I was in my 40's and met someone I knew at school. She was very loud about me not having changed a bit (I wish) and how I didn't have any wrinkles (of course I had wrinkles, only less than she). All of a sudden she grabs at my face, pulls both my ears and insists to look behind them to check for scars from a facelift?!?! I would've slapped her but didn't want to spoil the day for the others present, so I just grabbed my bag and left.

Beebopmoon · 02/06/2024 08:27

KreedKafer · 28/05/2024 11:42

If one of my closest mates had told me I was wearing shit hair extensions (because that's what people are implying if they say they can see them) and reached over and yanked on my hair to try and prove it, I'd think they were being really out of order. If someone I'd only just met did it, I'd be telling them to fuck off.

It's really rude and invasive behaviour. Maybe she's socially clueless and thought it would be 'banter' (eyeroll) but it sounds a lot more to me like she's one of those appalling people who bangs on about 'telling it like it is' and 'calling a spade a spade' as an excuse to be a complete cow.

Even if you did have extensions in, what the fuck was she thinking she'd achieve by pulling on them? That she'd pull one out?

On a work night out once, someone who I'd never exchanged more than a couple of 'Morning, did you have a nice weekend?' pleasantries with said 'Oh, what's this you've had scribbled on to your back?' and proceeded to grab the back of my top and pull it down to have a look at my upper back tattoo. The hair thing, to me, sounds like similarly invasive and rude behaviour.

This. I agree completely. 👍

Whatinthedoopla · 02/06/2024 08:32

Something similar happened to me once! I was in a very large group setting in a park once, I used to have very think long hair, and one of the guys rudely went to the back of my head and roughed my hair checking for extensions, then said "oh, you don't have extensions!?" In front of everyone. I didn't really know him, and I know he was trying to embarrass me. No one should be outing anyone for having extensions

pollymere · 02/06/2024 10:43

She was clearly jealous of your hair and trying to show you up as having poor extensions by pulling them out... which seriously backfired on her 😂

Mt61 · 02/06/2024 10:53

Maybe you are an attractive lady, she was madebe trying to put you down, because you mentioned hair extensions, that was the only way she could pull you to bits- sounds like jealousy to me

Imbusytodaysorry · 02/06/2024 16:23

She thought you still had extensions in and was trying to make you out to be a
lier . Yea she was out of order and yes she was trying to embarrass you .

rahoolio · 04/06/2024 14:40

thelastgoodbye · 28/05/2024 11:10

This bank holiday I went on a weekend away for my friends birthday, I know most of the people going but not all.

We got the train down and we’re all sat on the tables of 4 next to each other. They started talking about how they were doing their hair that evening and one had extensions and she said how difficult it was to style as her hair was so heavy. I simply agreed with her that yes when I had mine I had the same issue.

One of the women I don’t know, looked at me and said actually you can see your extensions, leaned across from the other table and yanked on my hair. I just looked at her bewildered and said “that’s my real hair, I don’t have extensions in anymore”

Aibu to think this is just odd behaviour? It was like she was trying to embarrass me

Everything is weird to someone when someone says something stating theirs as Da Troof B) they are simply seeking justice for a change in the level of comfort they feel entitled to (and they might be right!) and would like to feel superior to you until they have cleared their mind

Similar to tapping out during a wrestle. That being said DM if you wanna wrestle I offer hair pulls and the works B)

IamMoodyBlue · 05/06/2024 21:48

I cannot understand how anyone could possibly think this was acceptable behaviour.
It wouldn't be ok for a child to behave like this without being told it was not. For an adult? Unbelievable!

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