Pulling my hair is weird behaviour?

[thelastgoodbye]

This bank holiday I went on a weekend away for my friends birthday, I know most of the people going but not all.

We got the train down and we’re all sat on the tables of 4 next to each other. They started talking about how they were doing their hair that evening and one had extensions and she said how difficult it was to style as her hair was so heavy. I simply agreed with her that yes when I had mine I had the same issue.

One of the women I don’t know, looked at me and said actually you can see your extensions, leaned across from the other table and yanked on my hair. I just looked at her bewildered and said “that’s my real hair, I don’t have extensions in anymore”

Aibu to think this is just odd behaviour? It was like she was trying to embarrass me

Pulling someone's hair without permission is an assault. My hair isn't long enough for anyone to yank but if anyone tried it, they 'd get a slap.

That’s a bit extreme really. Is it internet hyperbole or would you really slap a friend who tugged your hair and then class it as assault 😱

Yes it was unreasonable behaviour from her, and it says more about her than it does about you.

You are however being unreasonable by not posting the other details from the weekend.

Quiet down Dick.

I don't think people are trying to minimise the incident or asking her to talk about it in a fun way. It was clearly uncomfortable for the OP and her not-friend was out of order

People are just reacting light heartedly to her repeated clarification that she wasn't wearing hair extensions, when nobody is suggesting she was

😂😂 good one!

Its ok for me to want to be clear as not everyone reads the OP (on any thread). And I think it changes the dynamic in this situation if I did or didn’t have them.

It was a bitchy comment in itself to say she could see my extensions when obviously she couldn’t. But if I did have them in and she said that, whilst she should have done it more discreetly, she potentially was just being honest and blunt. So some people would say she was reasonable based on wrong information.

I adore extensions. I’m getting some soon hopefully, I’m just in the process of changing my hair colour so there’s currently no point.

But she did take it too far by pulling on my hair. But regardless I’ll likely never see her again as there’s no way I’d go away in that group again.

@Myblindsaredown

Why is it extreme 😕 that you think it's not assault then?

Your hair doesn't just grow out of vacuum

Your hair grows from a very personal intimate part of your being called human body

What gives someone the right consent whithout Your permission to yank or pull your hair or anyone else is then?

Or
even touch something that grows from an such an important and extremely personal part of who you are are made up that's called the human body

Do you understand 🤔 that better now

What if you were on a night out at a night club and a random man cause he fancied you decided it was OK to touch your hair Or Yank your hair with an attitude cause he is beholder of society's precious plums and two meats and veg male Penis,
he is entiled to touch your hair ,

Just cause he could and he wants to and just cause we live in man child ego centric society here in UK and around the 🌎 world,

How would you feel think about that then?

Of course none of the people on this thread would be happy with someone they don't know pulling their hair in a clear attempt to embarrass them. "Banter?" What would be funny about trying to show everyone someone had badly fitted extensions? Even weirder when OP didn't have any.

I'm surprised by the amount of people who think it's okay.

It was a bitchy comment designed to try and embarrass the OP then to pull on her hair is just uncalled for. I hate my hair being pulled, it hurts and I've had to teach children not to do it so why is it okay for adults to do it to strangers?

Please OP, tell us the great story of the Banning at the Premier Inn. Pretty please.

To answer your question, she was super weird and rude, and if somebody had done that to me I'd have been sorely tempted to yank her ratty locks right back. Was it a hard yanking?

You don't touch people's hair! It is overfamiliar and it's violating their boundaries unless you have already established a friendship where that is your mo.

MN is infuriating for this. Everyone will say "Oh, I don't see the problem" yet if you were to do to them they'd see the problem soon enough.

What truly is thread worthy?

It's just idle chat & people can join in or not as they wish.

I can’t stand the ‘lighten up’ and ‘it’s only banter’ people. It is just shorthand for ‘I want to be an unpleasant bitch to you and you mustn’t complain’.

Was this maybe a backhanded compliment
as in your hair is long and nice it can’t possibly be real?

was she ok with you the rest of the weekend?

Was it you? It’s SUCH an inappropriate thing to do

Seeing this for what it was, pulling someone's hair, real or otherwise, is an assault just as much as if she had biffed you on the nose. The issue is what she actually did, not how close a friend she was. Totally unacceptable under any circumstances other than self defence. Having said that it would probably be much too heavy handed in this instance to press charges.

VERY weird behaviour, and catty imo!

One of my mates older sisters once told him to tell me that my extensions "didn't match the rest of my hair" - Not sure why, I barely knew her and only met her for about 10 seconds on two occasions.

I didn't have extensions, I just had two different tones of pink in my hair at the time as I prefer the underneath to be darker! (and to be fair the dyes had both faded a bit!)

I honestly think it's just jealousy to be honest, it always seems to come from people who are insecure about their own hair length :S

@LazyGewl

It's not only on this mumsnet thread here and other threads topics ops on here and of course,
in real life some certain people too,
Have in regards of a blind spot on anyone elses feelings in any way,

the endangered art of being able to relate and think how this could feel and effect,
potentially someone else from different perspectives than oneself,

this is a quite a good example this particular mumsnet thread is and another hot topic mumsnet thread recently,
is in obviously different way of course,
which is the Grandmother assaulted by her teenage grandson,

🤔 certain posters can not,
even consirder even,
how someone yanking @thelastgoodbye hair like that could even be thought of unacceptable or offensive or even be consirdered boundaries trampling or pushing or provocative in any way,

Well lets amagine this potentially real life senerio of someone wears a wig for medical reasons such as Alopecia or recovering from cancer treatment
and an random individual on day out with mix of friends etc,
decides to yank someone hair who is recoving from chemo therapy treatments or someone from Alopecia,

And yet the ones on here judgemental posters about @thelastgoodbye feelings and reactions on here,

if anyone did that to themselves in real life they would feel either mixed feelings or find it weird or something off about this action/ not quite right,ect ect,

Certain posters on here and some other people in real life are of course hypocritical and Contrary when it comes to other people's feelings

Highly strung?

bloody hell.

It was rubbish behaviour to say it and to actually pull your hair was outrageous.

We really need to know what happened at the Premier Inn. What happens at the PI is not the same as what happens in Vegas, you can tell us.

Nope. Your attitude is way off. Pulling hair is not 'banter' it's freaking weird behaviour

It's no more banter than someone grabbing your tit

I'm glad I'm not mates with you! Since when do mates go around pulling each other's hair? Especially if they think there might be extensions, which would come out when pulled?

This has got echoes of "He's only being mean because he fancies you!" In other words, it's bullshit.

It doesn't matter how casual or relaxed an environment is, pulling someone's hair is weirdo behaviour, and it's assault. And what she said about the (nonexistent) extensions was catty beyond belief.

This was a straightforward attempt at bullying the OP. Trying to make the OP feel awkward and establish herself higher up in the pecking order.

Lighten up and it's only banter can be code words
meaning for Arseholes and shits kinds of individuals such as toxic insecure males and toxic females, in our society in general 💩💩💩 to belittle and make fun and be mean nasty under guise of humour and bantz banter in such a way that deflects their insecurities and objectifies and targets any females or anyone whether male or female or someone with pronouns,
in their lives or not,
just out and about who dare to have audacity to have valid feelings or opinions and happens to be alive in the world 🌎 too..