Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not make my son have his vaccine?

155 replies

Funkytuna · 27/05/2024 19:01

Hello all
So my 13 year old (ADHD and Autistic) was recently supposed to have his HPV vaccine in school. He point blank refused so it was rescheduled for the may half term at the local clinic. However, he is still very much refusing to have the vaccine. I've explained what its for and how serious cancer is (not that he needs me to tbh). But he is so stubborn its unreal. How would other parents deal with this? Both my children have always been up to date on their vaccines and I want him to take his health seriously. That being said it is his body and I cant physically force him.

OP posts:
noctilucentcloud · 31/05/2024 13:09

456pickupsticks · 31/05/2024 01:00

As mentioned, this was what my mum (who is a nurse), said to me to talk me into having it done at school, which I then did, with no trouble. At no point was I actually restrained.

As others have mentioned Gillick competency:
"Gillick competency can be used when young people wish to refuse medical treatment. However, if a young person refuses treatment which may lead to their death or severe permanent harm, their decision can be overruled."
Which suggests to me that, it may be possible to overrule a 13 year old's refusal of a vaccine in this context, even if it did mean that a parent firmly held, or restrained, the child.

However, suggestion actually was around the way the choice was phrased, in order to try to avoid any distress around restraint, just sharing a personal story which was what convinced me to have it done at school.

Show quote history

I think Gillick competency in these circumstances could only be over-ruled in the court of protection.

DownWithThisKindOfThing · 31/05/2024 13:11

DownWithThisKindOfThing · 31/05/2024 13:06

For HPV I wouldn’t be too bothered. My eldest son hasn’t had it as it wasn’t on the vaccine schedule for boys at the time. My youngest son has because it was. I don’t think it’s as important as a lot of other vaccines so for this one I wouldn’t sweat it.

To add I was thinking of getting it done but then Covid happened and everything went tits up. He’s an adult now so most definitely down to him to decide.

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/06/2024 00:28

456pickupsticks · 31/05/2024 01:00

As mentioned, this was what my mum (who is a nurse), said to me to talk me into having it done at school, which I then did, with no trouble. At no point was I actually restrained.

As others have mentioned Gillick competency:
"Gillick competency can be used when young people wish to refuse medical treatment. However, if a young person refuses treatment which may lead to their death or severe permanent harm, their decision can be overruled."
Which suggests to me that, it may be possible to overrule a 13 year old's refusal of a vaccine in this context, even if it did mean that a parent firmly held, or restrained, the child.

However, suggestion actually was around the way the choice was phrased, in order to try to avoid any distress around restraint, just sharing a personal story which was what convinced me to have it done at school.

Show quote history

If a child has mental capacity, it’s extremely unlikely. This is not the same as having much needed cancer treatment to save your life.

Frozensun · 01/06/2024 01:05

The boy is autistic. He can’t ’turn off’ his sensory issues, any more than a paralysed person can walk (because ‘it’s only a few steps’) or a person without sight can view the cliff edge in front of them (because ‘it’s to stop you dying if you fall off it’). It’s got nothing to do with mental capacity. You can’t force him, and you shouldn’t force him. I say this as someone who believes in the efficacy of vaccines. If he needs urgent medical care, he needs to trust his parents. My young person (who is autistic and has a tested IQ of 130) needs annual monitoring of a congenital problem. It’s bloody hard and - for them - bloody traumatising. The panic is heart wrenching. Unless you have a child experiencing this, you have no idea.

S0livagant · 01/06/2024 08:02

I'm pretty sure he can change his mind and have done later, boys born after September 2006 can access a catch up. If he sleeps with men, so higher risk as boys have not been vaccinated for years like girls, then men under 45 can access it through a sexual health clinic. It's not now or never.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page