To not make my son have his vaccine?

[Funkytuna]

Hello all
So my 13 year old (ADHD and Autistic) was recently supposed to have his HPV vaccine in school. He point blank refused so it was rescheduled for the may half term at the local clinic. However, he is still very much refusing to have the vaccine. I've explained what its for and how serious cancer is (not that he needs me to tbh). But he is so stubborn its unreal. How would other parents deal with this? Both my children have always been up to date on their vaccines and I want him to take his health seriously. That being said it is his body and I cant physically force him.

Okay.🙂

@FluentRubyDog I understand your frustration. You won't change a mind like that I'm afraid, no one is as blind as those who do not see and all. The sheer unintelligence and arrogance of those who do not vaccinate is beyond my comprehension. Honestly, an hour educating yourself on vaccinations (by peer reviewed studies, not FB..!) would show you exactly why we do this. If the huge rise in child deaths through entirely preventable diseases wasn't clue enough.

I'm 65 and pre-date the MMR but I was vaccinated against polio and diphtheria, so you must be older than me.

65 years ago polio was a real threat, and parents were as terrified of their DC getting is as parents nowadays of their child getting meningitis.

If a child is refusing you can’t just force them - that’s assault. You can try your best to explain the reasons why they should have a vaccination but ultimately it’s their choice if they are competent to give consent or not.

No @Sorrybutnot I wasn't talking about the OP, sorry if I confused matters. I was talking about the PP who didn't vaccinate her children. I know very well you can't force anyone - I'm a nurse! I also have a DD who refused to have the covid vaccination. We came away and allowed her time. SHE decided she wanted it done and with the help of a numbing cream, a fab HCP and an iPad she was fine. She's recently had the HPV completely under her own steam with not a fuss bless her.

You can’t force him. But if it’s a needle phobia I’d want to be working with him on that, as he might need a more urgent / Essential injection or blood test in the future.

That is not true… there is increasing risk of head and neck cancers in both sexes due to HPV. Please vaccinate your sons!
Talk to nurses at GP surgery… they will have some strategies. There is a cream at is local anaesthetic that can be put on skin prior.

So he can go and put himself at risk of cancer then and deal with the much more invasive medical consequences if that time comes - his choice.
Sorry, no patience with stuff like this. A needle phobia is one thing and it's debilitating, being bloody minded is something else.

Mine are vaccinated. However, no one can vaccinate their teenage sons unless they are not competent to decide for themselves, it's the boy's decision.

So it doesn't matter if they pass it on to women then?

It is his decision, no one should be coerced or pressured into vaccination. It is also up to him if he makes that decision based on risk to himself, or risk to others also. Women can choose to be vaccinated and they can choose not to have sex with unvaccinated men.

You are to blame for being utterly selfish, you and your kids benefit from other people taking their responsibilities seriously and doing the right thing. But you can't be arsed 🙄

You have my sympathy. My DD has ASD and has a needle phobia. I have paid for counselling and, in desperation, even tried bribery. Nothing has helped and she will not have vaccines or blood tests. Does anyone know why this is so common in those with ASD?

So how would you force a teenager into the doctor and force him to sit still?

And then how do you force a nurse to inject a teenager who doesn’t consent?

My ASD/ADHD 14 year old is phobic about needles. She missed the HPV vaccine. She's just had that and her school leaver boosters. She chose to do it, and there was a reward. I didn't put pressure on her but she understands the seriousness of it. The immunisation team were really helpful, did a longer appointment. I don't have suggestions, but my daughter did get there.

I felt less worried about HPV - I am assuming with wider vaccination rates they are less likely to encounter it (based on my assumption that vaccination prevents/reduces transmission rates). It would be preferable for him to have the vaccine, but you can only do your best.

YANBU. His body, his choice.

My DH doesn't believe in vaccines so the kids have never had one. When they grow up, they can decide themselves

I run the school end of our local vaccination programme at a large secondary.

You can’t make him have it done, but do you think you might be able to encourage him to go along and see how he feels.

The nurses are incredible at explaining and calming the young people who are nervous. They will take it one step at a time until it gets to the stage of actually administering the injection and he will have to choice of going ahead or not right up until the last moment.

If he won’t have it done now, don’t worry, he should be offered the option in ‘mop up’ sessions at school in Years 9-11.

If they grow up

A case of of 'I'm alright Jack'. Nice.

You can also buy Emla numbing cream online if he’s worried about it hurting.

https://www.chemist-4-u.com/emla-cream-5-with-dressing-5g

So you traumatised your child for a holiday but won't for a vaccine that could prevent cancer?

Rhod Gilbert's cancer was caused by HPV. Maybe explain the importance of it?

Seeing as he is now an adult, there's not much I can do 😆

It's about consent and bodily autonomy.

Can you bribe him for this occasion? A new computer game or something?

Then I think you need to try and help him overcome this. If he ever has a bad accident and breaks something, he’ll be like a pin cushion (at least I was in the trauma unit). Needles crop up from time to time in life and no-one really likes it, but it’s worth getting him to the point that he can tolerate it.