AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

[ThisWillBeInteresting01]

This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

I don't think saying kids need a bath at least once or twice a week is the same as saying they should be bathed only once or twice a week?

The Harvard link disagrees, I agree, but also advises using washcloths to avoid baths. Which again, I do not understand.

Ok there's not bathing every day, then there's bathing every week (or less!)

My children often don’t even get 1 bath a week!
I ask them to have showers every so often but they don’t often listen to me, and as I have my older son (autistic and medical conditions) who doesn’t like washing whatsoever, and a little one who adores and emulates his big brother, it’s usually not worth the battle!

A daily rub down is fine..hands, face, etc. A bath 2 or 3 times a week would be optimal.

But a daily bath is absolutely not necessary for young children unless they get muddy or whatever. It's bad for the environment and the experts say its bad for their skin and immune system.

The Harvard link disagrees, I agree, but also advises using washcloths to avoid baths. Which again, I do not understand.

It's not really about understanding tbh. It's about different customs and social norms.

Regarding flannel bathing: it has been very interesting reading all of these first hand historical accounts about flannel bathing experiences from long ago. However this antiquated practice really belongs in the past with things like corsets, horse drawn carriages, rotary phones, dial-up internet, etc. (The exception, of course, being people who can’t bathe or shower due to disability or medical reasons like an operation, etc). I can understand that it’s difficult to let go of the past, but sometimes it just has to be accepted that humanity has moved on; it’s 2024 not 1824. The flannel’s day has come and gone, and the practice now needs to be relegated to the history books.

I can't imagine having such strong feelings about how others choose to wash their bits and pits.

I think trusting parents to know when their kids need a shower/bath is the thing.

And not some pre ordained 1st world ruling .

I can tell you from experience that the "third world" definitely showers more often than the first world. Bathing often is not a first world thing.

The exception, of course, being people who can’t bathe or shower due to disability or medical reasons like an operation, etc)

You show such leniency here as to how people should keep clean.

can tell you from experience that the "third world" definitely showers more often than the first world. Bathing often is not a first world thing.

"Definitely" ?

Washing is not a first world thing of course not.

Plentiful supplies of clean water and bathrooms are.

I’m sorry your imagination is defective — there’s nothing I can do about that.

You’re welcome.

All this flannel bathing in the 70s just confirms that actually 70s parents DID think a daily wash was needed, it just wasn't possible to do so in the bath due to cost/practicality.

Yet it's being used as an excuse for only bathing today's kids once or twice a week. I would be willing to bet that the vast majority here who don't bathe their kids often enough because 'they don't stink/don't look dirty' aren't doing a full strip wash with a flannel in between.

No. My mind has much more going on in it than thinking of people washing their arse with a flannel

Well, that’s good then. It shows that it’s not defective.

Sorry but kids need bathing more than twice a week. It is a basic right to be clean and a child relies on you for that. It doesn’t take long. Just clean your kid! And for all those saying we only had one bath a week when we were kids and we didn’t smell… how do you know you didn’t smell? Also kids do more activities now and will get grubby and sweaty. Please just keep your kids clean, I’m sure you all shower/bathe more often than once or twice a week!

I would be willing to bet that the vast majority here who don't bathe their kids often enough because 'they don't stink/don't look dirty' aren't doing a full strip wash with a flannel in between.

" who don't bathe their kids often enough "
Dear me, who's anyone else to say how often " often enough " is? Without knowing the kids and their lifestyle?

I can't believe how know all this is.

Please just keep your kids clean, I’m sure you all shower/bathe more often than once or twice a week!

God alive.

We only do one bath a week due to eczema, quick showers every other day in the summer.

Unless the kids never shit, I don't really need to understand their lifestyle.

Unless the kids never shit, I don't really need to understand their lifestyle.

Crack on. The world over there are clean people who don't do your way but 🤷‍♀️

I don't think kids "do more activities" than kids from the 60s and 70s I fact, most kids move far less than children from 50 years ago, which is partly why you see so many fat children these days.

They possibly do more organised/paid activities, but I wouldn't have said that kids these days are more active, therefore getting dirtier than those from that era

If clean means showering every other day (and washing yourself properly, not just using water!), yes. You are clean.

If clean means showering 1-2 times a week, no. People poo, pee, have periods, have sex, sweat, shed skin. Does anyone actually sit there with the bum, and feet faffing over sink? Even in winter? No. So that's not clean.

Personally, I don't care, but since we're here I'll give my opinion.

Think we can definitely spot the soap dodgers on here. Kids not being washed when they toilet multiple times a day is lazy parenting. You can come up with any kind of excuse but it is what it is.