AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

[ThisWillBeInteresting01]

This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

Yes, I see that the context was different. What surprised me was that in the middle of some fairly problematic descriptions of the state of the house, it was the fact of not bathing the children more than once a week that was most often picked up on as being neglectful. I think it was brave that the OP in the other post was looking for help and I hope that she manages to get on top of it all.

I Bath my dc every day straight after school. Wash their hair 3 times a week. They also have a quick wash every morning (face and hands). They would be smelly and dirty after 48 hours if we didn’t !!!

Thanks for the replies so far! I didn't actually realise this was such a hot topic on MN (I'm new here), should probably have read previous threads. Interesting to hear all the opinions.

That would make me uncomfortable, DD does a lot of sporty type things and sometimes sweats so she needs a good wash including her hair. We sometimes skip a hair wash due to time but always have a quick body shower, takes 5 minutes, kids aren’t always the best with pee etc (she’s still in pull ups at night) so I like to make sure she’s throughly clean before bed.

Its not neglect but i have OCD and the thought of my children bathing once a week grosses me out but i cant leave the house without a shower. But each to their own routine but is not neglect.

There is no need to have an immersive bath AT ALL.

Cleanliness from head to toe is easily achieved by a daily strip wash using a couple of pints of water. Hair can be washed over a sink using only a bowl and jug.

Much quicker to just get in a shower every other day though.

It was me who made the comment you're talking about.

The OP said she baths them once a week AT THE MOST meaning they can go longer. She also said she doesn't change the bed sheets for 2 months or more.

To me, that is neglect.

The children are likely to be stinky and get bullied because of it.

Of course it's not neglect - I assume they are washed properly every day in the sink (ie face, mitts, pits, bits)? Not washing hair for three weeks is pretty revolting though tbh.

Incorrect assumption

It's common advice but outdated

https://nationaleczema.org/eczema/treatment/bathing/

Yes we have all only ever bathed twice a week. I couldn't imagine our water and heating bills if we all bathed every day (no shower and there's no way I'd have a strip wash - brrrr). We all have trouble with eczema and the hard water here is not good for it. In fact hard water is not good for skin and hair full stop.

You're wrong, it might be fine in soft water areas but if you live in a hard water area it is not good for it.

https://nationaleczema.org/blog/hard-water-eczema/#:~:text=Research%20suggests%20that%20mineral%2Drich,skin%20conditions%20early%20in%20life.

It's not 'neglect', but honestly? One bath a week is the bare minimum for hygiene. A quick bath or shower is a 10 minute job and should be achievable at least every other day, if not daily. 4 year olds usually enjoy baths.

Another thing that I have noticed is that families who don't encourage their young children to wash daily can end up with stinky tweens and teenagers. It's easy to enforce a routine of daily baths/showers with a four year old, much harder with a 12 year old who doesn't see the point, because they have never had to do it before- even through they now really need a daily wash in order to stay fresh.

Mine has sensory issues and skin problems.She hated bath time from a baby so when she was a child we just bathed and washed her hair once a week as she made such a fuss and screamed so loud the neighbours could hear. Now are managing two days a week and we will go from there. Her doctor is aware of this and neglect has never been mentioned. It's not like we can't be bothered.

I think it is neglect because of body odour and sweat. It’s disgusting.

My 3 DC hated having a bath so it was usually only once or twice a week. Obviously if they'd been playing out or it was hot then a strip wash in a washing up bowl would suffice. Youngest DS still lives at home and regularly spends 2hrs or more in the bath at least 3 times a week 🤣

This is the thing though. I didn't see that other thread but this subject comes up a lot on here and it seems that the posters saying they only bathe/shower their children once or twice a week are literally doing just that, apart from washing faces and hands. So the child's genitals and feet are often getting washed just once or twice a week which is absolutely disgusting.
They are probably the children of adult women on here who think it's fine for adults to only wash their body once a week. They all say they and their children don't smell but yes actually they do.

Of course it’s not neglect. It’s old-fashioned at worst.

I can remember a bath being a once a week thing when I was a child, and the other days it was a stand up wash at the sink with a flannel 😂

I think it’s the norm nowadays to give young kids a bath before bed every evening and a daily shower once they’re a bit older. My children were invariably filthy by the end of the day, they definitely needed it and it was a lovely wind-down and a special thing for their dad to do.

It wasn’t normal for me. I had one every night.

So you only wash your armpits, feet and genitals twice a week, that's pretty rank tbh.

The washing kids once a week was a small part of that thread you reference. The OP of that thread only washes the bedding every other month, doesnt keep on top of other laundry and struggles with cleaning in general.

Personally I'd be more concerned with the 'mine bathe daily because they would smell otherwise' posters. Maybe they should be questioning why their kids are so naturally filthy and stinky.

I think bums need washing daily, and feet

It really depends on the situation. I work with children and have seen real neglect with regards washing....dirty pants on, children clearly not washed after toilet accidents, smelly hair and in those cases I've seen other children/parents keep a distance but if you're child seems clean I would trust your judgement. Like adults, some kids just need to washed more often

It was normal for me. I grew up in the 1970s in a low income but very loving and functional home.
Bath and hair wash and clean pyjamas on Saturday afternoons whilst the wrestling was on. Chippy tea and a cream soda and an orange in the evening in front of the telly as a special treat.
The rest of the week was a wash in the bathroom.