AIBU to think that bathing your kids once a week is not 'neglect'.

[ThisWillBeInteresting01]

This is spurred on by another threat about someone struggling to keep their house clean. They mentioned that their kids are bathed once a week. This caused a lot of negativity amongst posters, with some comments calling bathing your kids once a week 'neglect'. This surprised me!!

My DC is 4 and has on average 2 baths a week (and yes, sometimes that means 1 a week). It has never been part of our bedtime routine - it gets them het up rather than calming them down. Their hair is washed once a week in term time after swimming class (v long hair as per DC's request, which takes an age to wash and dry). On holidays we once went 3 weeks without washing their hair. Hair was not smelly and looked lovely throughout.
My DC is not smelly, not dirty and most definitely not neglected! They have clean clothes, tidy brushed hair, are very popular at school, and have a generally nice life. (They also have a miraculous ability to somehow stay clean even when eating bowls of bolognaise and poking around in the dirt at school, which is helpful 🙏. Obviously if/when they do actually get covered in mud I wash them!).

I did some poking around and the American Academy of Dermatology say that children below pre-teens do not need more than 1-2 baths a week as long as they're not actively dirty/smelly.
https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

So is it really that bad not to bathe your children very often?

YABU - Children are dirty and sticky, more washing please!

YANBU - As long as they're not stinking up the bus then it's fine.

No I said privileged to be able to have a daily bath in the 70s. Nothing more.

Please don't suggest I said something that I didn't.

We bathe our kids every other day, but that's just how our routine works. I think once or twice a week is fine, although I'd probably clean feet and bottoms in half an inch of water. Mine are still in nappies at night and it does make them smell a bit.

Well my mum was a widow with 3 children. We had no money at all. Hardly a position of privilege.

Weekly baths were more understandable years/decades ago when showers weren't common. We probably all had immersion heaters that cost a bomb to fire up so a once a week bath was possibly all many parents could afford.

It is different nowadays. Everyone has showers, even if not a fitted shower a shower attachment over a bath will give feet, bums and gentitals a thorough wash. There really isn't any reason not to meet these basic hygiene standards.

This. The 1970s standards of hygiene are not something to aspire to. They are a barely adequate minimum. I wish people would stop presenting this as the gold standard.

Agree it’s very odd the old, well when I was a kid I was washed once a week in the sink and did me no harm nonsense.

like the world hasn’t moved on. That personal hygiene is not easier now in developed countries. No one washed once a week fifty years ago as it was seen as gold standard. They did it due to cost, faff etc.

Late arrival to the thread, so haven't rtft.
Of course only bathing children once a week is neglect. They are (or should be) filthy little tykes and once a week is simply not enough.

Having said that, it is possible to be creative and frugal, if circumstances, or money difficulties get in the way.
When we had no running water in the bathroom and one of the DC wasn't dry at night, I used to give him a daily shower with a big plastic watering can, filled from kettles.

Exactly. And if you're the only child not showering often, you will feel singled out in a way you wouldn't have back then.

Imo children don't have the knowledge or ability to look after their hygiene. It's our job to look after them appropriately.

They may not outwardly stink, but their feet and bits will. As an adult, it's not comfortable to go a week without washing those parts, so why let little ones go that long? (Obviously excusing medical reasons etc.)

At least 3 times a week.

Calling it neglect is ridiculous and quite a disservice to those children who are actually neglected.

Of course it is different now, it's not 70s, but not bathing or showing your small child seven days a week is not neglectful.

Really little kids are always messy, so I'd say a quick shower at least when they come in from preschool/playing etc. Especially when it's either rainy or very hot.
But it depends on the child. If they really aren't visibly stained or stinky then there's no real need, but I think it gets them into good habits as they'll start stinking like mad at puberty, lol.

Your point? I seem to have managed to shower kids without washing their hair. When mine needed me to wash them I'll bet I'm not the only one either.

There are a lot of excuses on this thread alone that shows people up as nothing other than soap dodgers. They are absolutely nothing but excuses for pure laziness. At least own it.

Honestly, the AIBU isn't " what is the easiest way to keep clean ? "

Easy - in a privileged 1st world situation it's a shower obviously.

The ABIU is " is only bathing once a week neglect "

and literally the world over it is no.

Soap dodgers 😂😂👌🏼

give us a break.

It's how extreme some people are about it. We all have a shower every other day. Every day if warranted. That's not lazy or lacking. I wouldn't personally let the kids get away with only showering once or twice a week but it's not neglect if someone else does.

As long as they are washing and have clean clothes, a clean home and bed then I don't see the need for all the frothing that happens on here.

I am frothing to be fair, 😁but I agree it's not neglect.

Not neglect no. Just not optimal for your kids and stubborn and irrational.

I never said it was neglect. I said it was lazy. Which it is.

Well tbh you only know it's lazy if you know the full picture. Which of course you don't.

And inadequate. Due to expense/one bathroom/limited hot water not any kind of pattern I'd want to model.

Memories of Uni, “G” came from place (in England) without a lot of water she said. (Uni had plenty of warm water).

She used to hoist her foot up onto one of the 3 sinks in the shared girls bathroom and use a flannel to wash her privates and bum - legs quite open, much scrubbing. She didn’t use soap & water on her face, just a pungent tea tree toner. I think she did pits too, bits then bum.
There was some concern about ass cleaning where others face washed & tooth brushed. She had a fav sink, never used by anyone else.

No idea if she ever showered, she might have also had that mythological self cleaning hair.

I wonder if G would be pleased to know that the only thing a few of us remember about her.

The American Academy of Dermatology advises baths only once or twice a week up to age 11 for both skin health and your immune system.

It's not laziness, it's being educated.

No, it doesnt! You need to read those guidelines again, please. It says they need a bath at least once or twice a week. That's the bare minimum for soap dodgers. It also says "a daily bath is fine."

https://www.aad.org/public/everyday-care/skin-care-basics/care/child-bathing

Thank you for literally proving my point. Too funny.

Here's another. Hopefully Harvard is good enough for you.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/does-your-child-need-to-bathe-every-day-202109202598

God alive the world is full of clean people who don't even own a bath or a shower.

Like we've reached peak sparkly perfection now and not in the dubious smelly sweaty past. When people didn't know what clean was.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193