To be suprised at Butlins and their lack of neurodiverse awareness?

[GreenPhlem]

have just left Butlins. Will hopefully never go back.

We were visiting with our autistic 3 year old grandaughter.

Not one mention of “autism friendly” shows anywhere. Every thing we attempted was too loud and in your face, even with ear defenders on granddaughter was struggling. You would have thought a place like Butlins would put on at least one autism friendly show a day but nope … nothing.

We took her to the tots disco last night - was meant to start at 6pm so we got there for 6pm knowing DGD will struggle to wait for something to happen … 6:05pm and nothing is happening - DGD getting restless and wants to leave. 6:10 the redcoat comes on and says the kids disco will start in about 15 minutes. No chance we could keep DGD happy for another 15 minutes so we had to leave. As we were leaving he said something about another show that would be happening at 7:30 unless the PJ masks photo shoot goes on for too long then that activity will be cancelled!! God forbid they miss out on money making photographs

Swimming - you now have to book a time slot. We booked 11am. 11:05 were still in a queue outside in the rain. When we eventually get in the changing rooms are so packed out (as everyone is going in and leaving at the same time) that DGD gets overwhelmed and shuts down. Nowhere quiet to take her … no thought to neurodiversity

Took her to soft play. I booked her into the toddler area as she would struggle being around the big loud hyper kids. I was told she was too tall for the toddler area and have to go into the big kids area. A small, timid autistic girl going into the big kids area with 10/11 year old kids flying around screaming and shouting?? Was never going to work so we left (DGD was already starting to have a meltdown as soon as she saw the chaos of the big kids area).

Is it just me or what?? Surely a place like Butlins should factor in that some kids may require a bit of reasonable adjustment?

But for other neurodiverse families it may be perfect. That’s the thing with neurodiversity everyone is so different. Ds and DN are both autistic but their needs and what they enjoy are polar opposites.

I actually do see your point about it being surprising that there is a lack of ND consideration at these resorts as they are primarily aimed at children. However, this is definitely something I would have looked into before booking.

Mention what, exactly? As others have noted, ND, etc is a broad church, so whar is good for your GD is not necessarily ok for others
Just a knee-jerk reaction

While it is lovely of you to take your grand daughter away, you chose Butlins they are known for being busy, loud etc. A larger child in the toddler area could easily mistakenly hurt a baby or toddler. It's not about reasonable adjustments it's common sense a 10 year old should not be playing in a toddler area. The swimming bit sounds like hard work but the shows are design to cater for as large an audience as possible. There re other places that may be more suited to kids with SI needs.......Butlins is not it.

@GreenPhlem yes you are being u reasonable. As far as I remember all these issues are made clear on the Butlins website.

If somewhere doesn’t say it has autism screenings why ever would you think it does?
Of course Butlins is horrendously busy and loud with long queues. I suggest you try in term time (which you could easily have done since the child is only 4)

But that’s like saying you expect an adult only hotel to allow children in because some adults have children.
There are far better places to go on holiday with children who have additional needs. I would never choose to go to a Butlins type place for a holiday because I can’t stand noise, crowds, rowdy entertainment etc.

Reasons I took her …

she loves swimming - it was not made clear that most of the pool was closed until after I’d booked. I did raise this with them and they said they have put on a circus to compensate. We went to the circus and to be fair she enjoyed it for 10 minutes or so

The beach - she did love the beach

Peppa Pig

The funfair - which turned out to be the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever seen. This was advertised as a tots fun fair … the area had 3 rides, 2 of which were closed.

Soft Play … she loves soft play at home but then she isn’t forced into the big kids areas.

@GreenPhlem you expected everything, at an establishment serving 1000s of people, to revolve around you.

when DS was little smaller haven sites worked well for us. We never used the entertainment side (other than the odd half hour at the arcades during quiet times) but there was enough on site if we had to camp in the caravan for a day we could easily get to the shops etc.

now he is older we stick to either a night or two in a hotel for a venue he really wants to visit or every other year a cruise as they work well for him.

but what works for him would be hell for someone else!

I think you need a holiday cottage / lodge somewhere quiet. We've stayed at a few different family friendly ones in the UK - they often have farm animals you can feed or pet, playgrounds, indoor pools (which often you have to book for your family so you get the pool to yourself), even soft plays. Some of them have some activities which may be ok for your child - we did one where there was giant bubble making outside. That might be ok as long as the other children's excitement doesn't cause an issue?

I'm not neuro diverse but would not want to go on holiday to Butlins because I know I'd hate the noise, chaos and crowds. But I'd cope if I was there. I imagine for some autistic people it would be absolutely unbearable whereas for me it's just unpleasant. Do holidays that work for your family OP and not what everyone else does.

Sadly Butlins is a shit hole we had the misfortune of booking there two years ago we literally left within 5 mins place was a cesspit.

Op I get it my DS is autistic and heaven forbid some insensitive twat post before thinking about the struggles those of us have to deal with on a daily basis it's not about getting everything given to us it's about understanding and hav

And having some acceptance.
Honestly op look abroad next time we just got back and it was fab experience.

I think sometimes you have to seperate how you feel from how they feel and accept it’s not the same.

I used to feel upset when I’d see other little kids doing things like enjoying the shows, soft play etc and feel like my son was missing out but the reality was he wasn’t actually bothered about doing those things and it was more my feelings about him missing out than him being bothered at all.

That reminds me one thing he did love at Butlins Skegness, there is an area near the beach with big items, like a massive bucket snd spade, drinks cooler etc. we spent many an evening playing there when others were in the shows and he loved it

the soft play will be risk assessed to that hight limit. They can't just ignore that for people who want to go in there.

So they promised it when you booked?, knowing you needed it you would have checked before booking

“Soft Play … she loves soft play at home but then she isn’t forced into the big kids areas.”

Which means that softplay is no longer acccessible for the correct age and height group.

I'm pretty sure you can get a fast track pass for disabilities at Butlins. I have seen children with lanyards skip ahead at the shows and the fairground when I've been. Did you look into this?
Also perhaps a sunflower lanyard would have been a good idea at the soft play for example, I know you shouldn't have to draw attention to your granddaughters autism but sometimes it's easier than explaining, the staff maybe would have been more sensitive.
As for the shows, I think a lot of the day time character shows would be autism friendly, we went to a Peppa pig one last time which was very mild, minimum queue etc.
Usually if a show is going to have big noises/flashing lights it will say before hand.

I think if you had planned better you may have had a much different experience.

How can you be annoyed that they didn't provide something that you yourself admit they never offered? I get that you'd be annoyed if you booked because they'd promised autism friendly activities that didn't materialise, but that's not at all what happened here.

Butlins at half term is not for the faint hearted! There's no chance I'd be able to cope with it. Next time, look for a small caravan park with a quiet swimming pool, and some nice big outdoor space (beach, woods etc) to explore.

I don't see the format you are suggesting as working. Loud everywhere and in the middle an accessible show. Then the children walk back into a very loud and sensory overload environment again.

What I have seen in other resorts internationally is specific weeks which are targeted as accessible so the whole environment and the cohort are conscious of sensory needs.

That would make much more sense for them and the children.

I mean this kindly but from reading your post I think you need to adjust your expectations of what holidays with your grandchild are going to look like as she is ND. I completely understand wanting to go on Butlins type breaks and you must have been looking forward to it, but use this experience as an opportunity to really think about what your grandchild would want from a holiday and adjust your plans accordingly. We all do that with our children, whether ND or not. It might be around planning for very picky eaters or allergies, kids that can’t cope with noise/heat, kids that would hate certain types of activities. Even if you had an idea in your mind’s eye of holidays with your grandchild when they were first born, you know now that they cannot cope with certain situations, so you need to plan around that, not just when you are already on holiday but when it comes to planning the holiday itself and thinking about where you will go.

Sorry to had a bad experience.

However, I agree with the others that you should have done your research more, and checked the events were suitable for you, rather than assuming.

It sounds like the exact type of holiday that would be completely unsuitable for your GD’s needs. There ARE different types of holiday, it doesn’t have to be a holiday camp. Hopefully you’d be driving there? Next time try a quiet cottage or caravan near a beach, with day trips to local places like the zoo or a steam railway. Or maybe one on a farm that has animals she can go and look at. You can take her to a quiet beach for as long as she likes, looking in rock pools, building sandcastles etc. no need to be by crowds and watching Punch and Judy etc

She just needs something a bit less frantic than Butlins.

Most people are not neurodiverse do the chances of adjustments bring made are slim. Butlins would not be able to control noise etc. I would not expect such a place to be neutodiverse friendly. There are so many variables they will have no control over. Poor time keeping inexcusable though

I agree with you.
I took my kids to Butlins at 3 and 6 - both are autistic but both very different. We booked the B line passes but they were £20 each and still involved like half an hour waiting for the shows. Both kids liked some things and found some (different) things overwhelming.
We haven't been back since and have preferred Haven, as no point paying so much when you can't use half of it.

I think you can get one at Bognor only but it’s just for the swimming not the shows, nothing at minehead or Skegness. We buy the vip wristbands as that is a seperate queue that goes in first so we can avoid the long queue