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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway · 27/05/2024 10:57

To be honest, if I accidentally put something of my husband's in the wheelie bin, I would absolutely 100% volunteer to go and get it back out.

If the bin is at the end of the drive, that means it's pretty full as it's been put out for the bin men, so the 'thing' would be on top of all the rubbish. So it'll be easy enough to get it out.

We live in an extremely safe area with virtually zero crime, and have the houses far apart, with big, long, wide driveways and long, wide gardens, so it's very open. So I wouldn't be afraid to go out. If I asked him to go and get it, he would. But I wouldn't ask, and he wouldn't need to volunteer, because if I put it in, I'd go and get it. Why would you not just go get it if YOU put it in?!

Oh and HERE'S something that will shock some posters to their very core.

I PUT THE BINS OUT IN OUR HOUSEHOLD. And I'm a WOMAN!!! Shock

DinaofCloud9 · 27/05/2024 10:58

Frogpole · 27/05/2024 07:46

Good grief, do women really despise each other this much? Why are you lot sicking your Chihuahuas on people like @Startrekkeruniverse (who I've never talked to and isn't known to me, for clarity)? Why are so many of you seething in uncontrollable rage because someone has a different life experience or opinion than your own?

What's the obsession with tearing each other down, and this race to the bottom competition of "durr, my husband hasn't emptied the bin since the battle of Hastings so you should delete your post!!!ONE!1!ELeVEN!!1".

For reference, if Mrs Frogpole put something in the bin then realised she needed it there wouldn't be a moment's though or discussion, I'd just go and get it - not that she's incapable or even phased about getting her hands dirty, it's just not a very nice job and I'd rather do it myself so she doesn't have to. When we've heard a noise in the night I go and look to see what it is.. because I couldn't just lay there waiting to see if anything bad happens to her, and also because there's a 18" difference in height between us and a 150lb weight difference, at which point it's just a matter of utility.

Whilst I'm sure that makes me guilty of itsism and means I'm an ismist, you really shouldn't be acting this way to each other. This isn't the oppression Olympics.

FFS. You need to calm down.

XiCi · 27/05/2024 11:00

It wouldn't occur to me to ask. If I realised I'd left something in the bin I'd just run down and get it out. I'm sure if I did ask though he would just go and get it. It's no big deal surely.

LoveStories · 27/05/2024 11:02

Do you live in at the end of a mile-long drive filled with snipers in a particularly strife-filled area of Mogadishu?

Because if your bin is by the front gate of your Milton Keynes semi, you sound unusually helpless.

Gladtobeout · 27/05/2024 11:03

Samlewis96 · 27/05/2024 08:11

Bank holiday Monday so bins won't be collected today

Show quote history

Except not everywhere stops for bank holidays. Our council still collect on bank holidays. Only day they don't is Christmas day/boxing day.

KreedKafer · 27/05/2024 11:04

I wouldn’t have asked him, because I’m a grown adult who isn’t scared to step out on to my own drive of an evening.

NoraBattysCurlers · 27/05/2024 11:07

If I had accidentally put something in the bin and needed it before bed, I'd go and get it myself. I wouldn't need to ask my husband to do it. My 'princess stage' ended before I turned four.

six666 · 27/05/2024 11:08

My 78 year old husband would definitely offer to get it without me even asking but I would say it's okay, I am only 74 and perfectly capable of rooting in the bin myself!

fieldsofbutterflies · 27/05/2024 11:10

Why would you expect him to go and get it for you?

You chucked it out, you sort it.

HollyKnight · 27/05/2024 11:13

It would depend. I might ask DH if I was busy doing something while he was sitting doing nothing. But if I'm not doing anything, I would get it myself. I wouldn't just ask him out of laziness.

deveronvalley · 27/05/2024 11:15

It wouldn’t occur to me to ask him, I had to read the question a few times as the idea of asking him to get it seems so odd to me. I’m not afraid of the dark though, I go running in the forest alone at night with my headtorch in the winter. I think most people could get to the end of their driveway safely. If I was genuinely afraid of doing something I think my husband would help, and I would assist him if he was struggling with something. If he’s being selectively incompetent however, I’d tell him to get a grip and he’d do the same to me! This particular bin/driveway thing wouldn’t have come up though.

coupdetonnerre · 27/05/2024 11:18

My husband would do it, I don't even have to ask. Foxes, Cats and Owls Oh MY!

Somepeoplearesnippy · 27/05/2024 11:19

My husband would go if I asked him but I wouldn't ask him. Even as 5ft tall pensioner I'm perfectly capable of correcting my mistakes myself.

IAlwaysTellTheTruthEvenWhenILie · 27/05/2024 11:20

Mine would go if I asked him 100%

greenpolarbear · 27/05/2024 11:21

He would get it, but not because I'm scared of rats/murderers, but because I can't be arsed.

He once swam into a disgusting (and freezing) pond for me to get a sarong that had blown in there without complaining, so he's more committed than most.

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 11:23

Frogpole · 27/05/2024 07:46

Good grief, do women really despise each other this much? Why are you lot sicking your Chihuahuas on people like @Startrekkeruniverse (who I've never talked to and isn't known to me, for clarity)? Why are so many of you seething in uncontrollable rage because someone has a different life experience or opinion than your own?

What's the obsession with tearing each other down, and this race to the bottom competition of "durr, my husband hasn't emptied the bin since the battle of Hastings so you should delete your post!!!ONE!1!ELeVEN!!1".

For reference, if Mrs Frogpole put something in the bin then realised she needed it there wouldn't be a moment's though or discussion, I'd just go and get it - not that she's incapable or even phased about getting her hands dirty, it's just not a very nice job and I'd rather do it myself so she doesn't have to. When we've heard a noise in the night I go and look to see what it is.. because I couldn't just lay there waiting to see if anything bad happens to her, and also because there's a 18" difference in height between us and a 150lb weight difference, at which point it's just a matter of utility.

Whilst I'm sure that makes me guilty of itsism and means I'm an ismist, you really shouldn't be acting this way to each other. This isn't the oppression Olympics.

GrinGrinGrinGrin

Chill out!

Uncontrollable rage GrinGrinGrin

TheTartfulLodger · 27/05/2024 11:25

What about equality? If your DH put something in the bin by mistake, would he expect you to go and get it?

Lavender14 · 27/05/2024 11:26

Dh would grumble but he'd do it for me if I asked him to.

AncillaryMercy · 27/05/2024 11:27

I would just go and get it myself, no discussion.

If I was undressed and in bed and the bins were being emptied the next day, I might ask.

TheTartfulLodger · 27/05/2024 11:27

I wouldn't ask him to. I'd do it myself.

MargaretThursday · 27/05/2024 11:27

It would depend on the situation.
If I was in my night things and he wasn't, which would be quite likely at that time. he'd do it. If he had put his slippers on and I was fully dressed, then I'd do it.
He'd probably do it if I asked him to.

However I'm about to scrobble him as he hasn't done the hoovering that he promised to do yesterday and the guests arrive in half an hour.
For some reason he never does the hoovering without a fight.
Except the time he thought it was a good idea to hoover up some water he'd spilt. Bye bye hoover.
And him a scientist!
(he has cooked lunch though)

What I'm saying is just because he didn't react in one way that you (or MN) think he should, that doesn't mean he's a waste of space. It's if he does nothing and complains then it's a problem.

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 11:28

Frogpole · 27/05/2024 07:46

Good grief, do women really despise each other this much? Why are you lot sicking your Chihuahuas on people like @Startrekkeruniverse (who I've never talked to and isn't known to me, for clarity)? Why are so many of you seething in uncontrollable rage because someone has a different life experience or opinion than your own?

What's the obsession with tearing each other down, and this race to the bottom competition of "durr, my husband hasn't emptied the bin since the battle of Hastings so you should delete your post!!!ONE!1!ELeVEN!!1".

For reference, if Mrs Frogpole put something in the bin then realised she needed it there wouldn't be a moment's though or discussion, I'd just go and get it - not that she's incapable or even phased about getting her hands dirty, it's just not a very nice job and I'd rather do it myself so she doesn't have to. When we've heard a noise in the night I go and look to see what it is.. because I couldn't just lay there waiting to see if anything bad happens to her, and also because there's a 18" difference in height between us and a 150lb weight difference, at which point it's just a matter of utility.

Whilst I'm sure that makes me guilty of itsism and means I'm an ismist, you really shouldn't be acting this way to each other. This isn't the oppression Olympics.

All MNs 's a MAN has spoken, he says were uncontrollably raging, despise each other.

Can we all take notice of what he says and how he would go to the bin, because he is a man and he must be listened too and agreed with.

By the way @Frogpole it's 2024 and as women are not dressed in petticoats and long frocks, so getting something out of the bin is not a concern to us.

Chivalry is dead, because it was used as an excuse to keep women quiet,

bananaramaterry · 27/05/2024 11:29

@Frogpole

What's this nonsense?

the battle of Hastings so you should delete your post!!!ONE!1!ELeVEN!!1".

I think you've got to carried away in your rage GrinGrinGrin

Amusing though.

CustardySergeant · 27/05/2024 11:30

elQuintoConyo · 27/05/2024 08:00

It is the Purge tomorrow?

I`d never ask. Just do it yourself.

Huh? I have no idea what that means. I did Google but it just comes up with a film.

K0OLA1D · 27/05/2024 11:31

CustardySergeant · 27/05/2024 11:30

Huh? I have no idea what that means. I did Google but it just comes up with a film.

Show quote history

Have a look at what the films about.