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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would your husband…

415 replies

Sunflower8710 · 26/05/2024 23:55

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 27/05/2024 09:17

My husband would get it for me
He'd do anything for me really

RacketsAndRounders · 27/05/2024 09:19

Yabu. Millions of women live alone and the buck stops with them. It's the end of the driveway in a first world country.

Presumably you undertake riskier activities like being in a car on a regular basis?

tuvamoodyson · 27/05/2024 09:19

I wouldn’t ask, I’d just go and retrieve it. If I asked him, he would do it, but I can do
it myself….but then I’m not scared of being murdered at the end of my drive 🤷🏼‍♀️

diddl · 27/05/2024 09:24

Unfortunate that you didn't remember until it was dark.

Unless it was far down & easier for him to reach I wouldn't bother asking.

Generally if I ask him to do stuff that's easier for him to do than me he'll do it though.

OhFensa · 27/05/2024 09:29

My partner would go if I asked him to go, but he'd think I'm an idiot, as he'd know it's because I'm scared of werewolves and cloven hooved spirits rather than stalky men.

HurdyGurdy19 · 27/05/2024 09:41

He would definitely go and get it for me. Begrudgingly, probably, but he'd do it

toadinthebucket · 27/05/2024 09:56

C1N1C · 27/05/2024 06:08

Despite being quite split, there's a 'vibe' in here that many feel bins are innately a man's job. Fair comment?

We split bin activities... If I happen to be doing the dishes, my wife will do the bins, and vice versa. Although one time we had my wife's friend over and my wife was doing the bins and it was 'shock horror'... doesn't your husband do those?!

No, not a fair comment. There is not that "vibe" here at all!! Only a handful of posters (and some of them came after your post) have said they think bins are innately a man's job.

Imbusytodaysorry · 27/05/2024 10:04

You put it in the bin “today” so why wait untill
its late before getting it out ?

You already had the idea in your head that your dh was doing it for you so seen no rush and quite happy to send him out at that time ?

stargirly · 27/05/2024 10:13

technically you ‘should’ get it as it’s your mistake and you who wants it, and you’re presumably capable of going yourself, but in practice in this situation and ones like it my husband would definitely go for me

Choochoo21 · 27/05/2024 10:20

I don’t understand why you would even ask him.

Why is he more capable of getting something out of a bin than you are?

You put it in there, so you get it out.

If he had put it in there then he’d be the one to get it out.

I’m sure you won’t come back to the thread as you were hoping that posters would all jump on him and call him a bad DH etc and it’s backfired on you.

Stop being lazy and entitled and get it yourself.

HelloJillll · 27/05/2024 10:28

I would expect to get it myself but my husband would offer & maybe even insist he got it.

MumblesParty · 27/05/2024 10:32

My partner would do it if I asked him. But I wouldn’t ask him, because it was my fault in the first place, I’m an adult, I’m not disabled, and I’m not scared of the dark.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 27/05/2024 10:32

My husband would always offer to go and get it.

K0OLA1D · 27/05/2024 10:37

Notthatcatagain · 27/05/2024 00:28

It's a bank holiday this week

Show quote history

My bins were out last night from 5pm. Bin men were here at 6.15am this morning

mondaytosunday · 27/05/2024 10:37

If I put it in the bin I don't think it would occur to me to ask my husband to go get it, why wouldn't I just get it myself?

NotSoHotMess24 · 27/05/2024 10:42

In theory you should do it yourself - your accident etc, as others have said.

In answer to your actual question though, yes my OP would get it for me. He knows I hate bins! And would do any job I really didn't want to do.

ChronicallyOversharing · 27/05/2024 10:43

Notthatcatagain · 27/05/2024 00:28

It's a bank holiday this week

Show quote history

It is @Notthatcatagain but my bin has been collected as usual this morning, only a couple of hours later than they usually are. The recycling is being collected today too.

Silvers11 · 27/05/2024 10:47

My Husband would sigh, but he would get it for me if I asked. But it was my fault, so I'd almost certainly go and get it myself

Cattery · 27/05/2024 10:48

I’d just crack on and get it myself cos I’d know what I was looking for and it’d be easier than explaining it all

GingerPirate · 27/05/2024 10:50

No. Why?
🤔

gotmyknickersinatwist · 27/05/2024 10:51

OP are you the one who needed the thing back, or did your husband need it?

Either way, I'd get it if I put it there. I don't mind a bit of bin hoking.

mydogisthebest · 27/05/2024 10:54

My husband would go and get it without me asking.

MsLuxLisbon · 27/05/2024 10:54

I would never, ever expect my husband to get it, so I voted that YABU. My husband would insist on getting it anyway, so I wouldn't mention it and would sort it myself in the morning.

MzHz · 27/05/2024 10:56

TheRomanticOutlaw · 27/05/2024 00:05

What would you do if you lived alone? You’d go get it yourself, you’d have no choice. I don’t understand why husband is expected to do it?
But I’ve been a single mum for 13 years and have to do everything myself, so maybe I’m missing the point of the post

I was single parent for years, although have now been in a relationship for longer than I was a SP.

id be prepared to go and get it myself, but my OH or my son would be off to get it for me. My drive is 200m long and we’re in the sticks.

that said. Oh and I (and dog) would absolutely be asleep by 11.30pm. It’d wait till morning. 🤣

fridaynight1 · 27/05/2024 10:57

How long is your drive?!
I’d go and get it. I wouldn’t ask DH to do something I can do myself. But he would do it if I asked.