Would your husband…

[Sunflower8710]

I had accidentally put something in the dustbin today, needed it before bed (11:30) I told my husband who told me to go get it. It’s pitch black, almost midnight and the bin is at the end of the drive.

Would your husband ask you to go retrieve the item or would he go get it?

Two possible scenarios:
DH is not a big strong man- he’s quite slight. I would ask him to do it because I am lazy. And it’s dark and I am in my PJs. He would say: Oi are you kidding? Do it yourself. I would do it and grumble while doing it. He would say: oh oh and while you are downstairs can you bring me a glass of water?I would make some joke, moan a bit more (not seriously), do it, bring the water, hand it to him and say ‘here it is your highness’ and that would be that.

Scenario 2: DH would say ‘yes and what do I get for doing it?’ And I would say: ‘the joys of being married to me??? Surely?’ And he would say: yeah RIGHT and go and do it. And then I would say: oh oh can you also bring me a cup of tea? And he would say: Yes your highness. Is there anything else she might require?! And make the cup of tea, and bring it and maybe present it with a flourish and life would carry on.

How can this be a big deal?!

Wow your council are better than ours then

Mine too. And he opens the car door for me. It might be old fashioned but he’s very respectful of me. It doesn’t mean he thinks I’m incapable or ‘The little woman’ far from it actually. I make most of the decisions in our family life.

I live on my own. Extracting something from a bin is not something I would need to ask for help with. Even at night. I recently had to go check the fuse box late at night & reset the safety switch. It had to be done so I did it. It’s around the back of the house, very dark but it’s my home and it took all of two minutes.

If I’d messed up, I’d expect to fix it myself. The dark, end of drive etc doesn’t automatically turn it into a blue job.

However, one of the reasons I married my dh is because he’s the sort of person who would go and do something like this without me asking. He’s very kind, capable, resourceful & generous.

It wouldn't occur to me to ask somebody else to go and get it.

My DH would get it.

He would get it for me if i asked him to, which I probably would if i was in my pyjamas

This is exactly how it would go in my house too. I'd be chuntering to myself about being a muppet but by the time I'd got my shoes on, DH would have retrieved it.

I can't see me asking him to do it unless I was ill or something.

And our bins are collected on a bank holiday Monday too!

Explain to me why a DH is the ‘suitable’ one to get this? is it because he’s not scared of the dark/feeble/more ‘manly’.

I would love my DH to do this for me to save me the hassle but HATE if he did it due to social misogyny reasons. It would be like him realising he needed a shirt for work and sending me down to the kitchen at 11.30pm to do it.

I live fairly rurally and it creeps me out going out in the dark, there are wild animals scurrying around and it is almost pitch because there are no lampposts and few neighbours. DH always locks up the gates at night but he is very protective, for example he answers the doors to delivery drivers etc.

@Sunflower8710 be careful what you put in the bin in the first place? You put it in, you get it!

Yes he would at the very least come with me as we tried to locate it, if not insist on getting it himself.

Mine would offer but I would try to insist on going myself as it's my job / fault.

OP come back!! We need to know what you put in the bin?? And has your dh made it back from
the end of the drive yet?

Maybe they live in a huge detached house with a very long drive and no neighbours for miles

Ha! Literally this.

I mean, I’d go myself if I had to, no worries, but he’d be out of bed in a flash and I’d be “ah ok if you insist” 😂

My ex? Yeah, I’d be going myself.

How long is the drive? Where do you live? Are there bears roaming ravenously across miles of rough terrain between you and the bin? Lions? Zombies?

If so, YABVU to expect your husband to risk his life retrieving something you happily threw out. Do without whatever it is, until you can ride out in armoured convoy. With outriders. And flamethrowers.

If not, stop expecting your husband to be your trash-rummaging tat-retrieving mistake-rectifying errand boy.

Mine would offer to go get it if I mentioned it to him, and would go without complaint if I said "oh would you?" but I wouldn't expect him to tbh.

Unless your bins are in Mordor I'm not sure why you need him to do it for you?

Would depend on state of dress. If I was in the bath and he was dressed he'd get it for me.

But I often have to get up for lambing in the dead of night in winter and wouldn't dream of getting him up because it's dark.

DH would offer to go get it but I’d be like “eurgh I’m the one that chucked it, I’ll go get it!” And he’d be like “it’s ok I’ll get it” and I would be like “no! I’ll do it” and then eventually I would go have a rummage around in the bin while swearing under my breath. If we lived in a bad area though he would insist on getting it. I wouldn’t worry about it being dark though.

My DP would definitely go and get it if I asked him to, as would I if he asked me to if the roles were reversed, but it wouldn’t be because of safety reasons. I don’t massively like the dark outside so he probably would just go for me I suppose.

Mine would go if I asked him. But I wouldn’t ask him unless I was ill, I’d just do it myself.

👏 someone who gets it!

It would depend on what it was.
If it was an engagement ring, we would both go because it would be hard to find in the dark. If it was my favourite kitchen knife, he'd probably say leave it and buy another and I would go by myself.
If it was something like important financial information that's needed for the tax return, he'd be off like a greyhound!