Dirty.

[Alittlelostinlifeisi]

I usually wash things when I notice they’re dirty, and I am a bit shortsighted and I observant so it probably takes me longer than most to notice. I wash bedclothes on each bed once a month or 2. I wash my floors every month or 2. I wash my bathrooms every month or 2. I wash my hair once a week. I shower or bath at least once daily but I wash my children about once a week. I work full time in a job that entirely zaps my energy and really struggle with my energy level when I come home hence the washing self to feel better. I feel disgusting. My car is filthy. My wardrobes are a mess. I have too much stuff to keep it all in order. I have always a pile of usually clean laundry just not folded and I never iron. I do keep the dishwasher and washing machine going and the basic kitchen ok, but don’t look in the cupboards or oven or air fryer. Does anyone have any useful judgements or advice for me to not be so lazy😳 am I being unreasonable to think that most people do not live like this?

I'd see about getting some blood tests done, you could be anaemic or have a thyroid problem hence the fatigue. Going months without washing sheets or mopping floors is quite extreme IMO, particularly the bathrooms as they get bogging. I have 2 teen boys in the house so their en suites are done every week otherwise its a piss and pubes party.

I'm a housewife and often get asked 'what do you do all day' and the answer is keep on top of jobs like this.

Have you a plan of WHAT you should do?

BEDDING Change weekly.
BATHROOM Bleach/ cleaner down it daily, full clean once a week (bath, basin floor, loo.)
TOWELS Change at least once a week. Kitchen towels more often.
HARD FLOORING Weekly mop
VACUUM Whole house once a week.

I'd get the older kids to strip their beds.
Maybe on a Saturday morning.

Create a routine.
Bedding and towels at a weekend.
Floors- hard floors or carpets - one evening or at a weekend.

Teach your kids how to tidy their rooms and put toys away.

The 8 year old could unload the dishwasher.

Some great advice here OP.

One tip to add - on the day before your bins are due out, fill one black bag with crap from downstairs and one black bag with crap from upstairs. Don’t stress about getting loads done at once, just one black bag at a time. I did that for a while and binned old products in the bathroom cabinet, random rubbish and leaflets in kitchen drawers, old socks upstairs, etc etc. Over the course of a few weeks it made such a difference. Less clutter makes it easier to clean.

I agree with previous posts that 15-20 mins a day will help catch you up to speed on things, and is easier than having to do 4 hours on your weekend and dread it completely. Personally I would fork out for deep cleans on the kitchen and bathrooms just to get a head start, but it’s up to you.

OP, you've got loads of really good advice here (ignore the judgey ones).

Something I might gently inquire about is whether you might have ADHD? It manifests itself very differently in women then men. Did you ever get a school report saying that you were a daydreamer? Did you cram for exams? Do you regularly forget that you had a hairdresser or doctor appointment, or always arrive late for things? Do you find that you have to write absolutely everything down at work, otherwise you forget? Do you regularly have to put the washing machine on refresh as you forgot you had clothes in there?

One of the things that ADHDers struggle with is housework and....well....hygiene. We're big picture people, mostly, and details normally escape us. We're usually pretty okay with our own hygiene because we experience discomfort when we're sweaty or have oily hair, but we might not notice it so much on our kids. Same with keeping the house clean. Cleaning involves routine and executive functioning skills, something ADHDers are not great at. I find that I'll get the cleaner and cloth out, and then realise that I need to clear the toys from the bathroom, and then tidy the toys in my kids room, and then another child will ask for a snack, and the cleaner and cloth will stay in the bathroom, forgotten about, for another two days.

Even if you don't have ADHD, there are some great apps out there for helping you keep to a cleaning schedule. I've found Dubbii great, as it breaks down the steps of simple things like, cleaning a kitchen thoroughly and you do it "with" someone else, which I find very motivating. You can also find lots of house cleaning diaries and schedules online.

Try to wash them at least twice a week, preferably every other day. Give them clean pyjamas every time they've washed. Make sure they brush their teeth twice a day. Brush their hair everyday. Always make sure they only wear their clothes once before washing them again.

I never iron

I strongly approve of this

I think you need new glasses for a start!

Kids do not need to bathe daily and in fact there is evidence to show it can damage their delicate skin barrier, as previous poster noted. Once or twice a week if fine until they hit puberty, but which time they can bathe themselves.

I'm fed up with this type of post.

We aren't in the 1950s where people didn't have showers. (I went to school with friends who had a weekly bath.)

Washing doesn't damage the skin barrier if you use a simple unscented soap or a shower gel like Sanex. A quick shower of 5 mins before bed (washing their bums as well ) is all that's needed.

I've spent a lot of time in my life surrounded by groups of children and the ones who don't shower/ bath and/or have unclean clothes smell.

And children of 8, going on 9, are pre-puberty. their sweat glands are starting to behave like adults' and will give off a smell.

Many girls of 9 are starting to use deodorant.

You don't need to wash the entire school uniform after one wear!

Shirt, pants, socks and vest yes.
Skirts, trousers, dresses (unless the height of summer), no.

Check your iron, b12, vit D. Don't let screens steal your time and go to sleep at a reasonable hour (don't mean that as rudely as it sounds, I badly need to kick screen time to minimal levels).

Get the kids to take a quick shower daily.

Spend a horrible weekend blitzing the house. Tear through each room. Enlist the kids - music or an audio book on.

Get some daily tasks going that take 5-10 minutes. A quick hoover in areas that accumulate grime. Wipe down sinks and stove. Throw a load of laundry on.

Add some weekly tasks that take 20-30 minutes. Floors. Sorting dry laundry.

You clean your floors once every 2mths!! 😳

I’ve a friend who’s house is pretty grim but she at least cleans her floors weekly

I have a little egg timer shaped like a black cat. I carry it around with me. I set it for ten minutes in each room and blitz that room for ten minutes. When it goes off, I move to the next room. You'll be AMAZED how much you can get done in one hour a day. Clean something different in each room each day. I rarely clean a whole room from top to bottom in one day, but in the space of a couple of months, everything in a particular room gets cleaned.

And not ironing is perfectly OK. A lot of clothes, if you dry them on a hanger, the creases fall out anyway.

It's amazing how you can fit something in to a small amount of time.

If I'm in the bathroom waiting for my deodorant to dry, or my face cream to sink in, I can use that time - 5 minutes - to spritz the bath and basin with cleaner, and give it a quick clean and use another cloth to wipe the loo handle and seat.

It's a mindset @Alittlelostinlifeisi

You need to get these chores on your radar and divide them into 'time heavy' chores, and ones you can fit in like multi tasking.

Some of my friends have said their kids only get washed twice a week. Mine get a shower or bath every night, so I guess it varies. Bedding once a week or 2, kids bedding once a month as they take a shower right before bed), towels once a week, I have to say sometimes it takes days to put clean clothes away, and although the kitchen gets cleaned several times a day, the toaster, kettle etc only get a proper clean maybe once a month , they do get covered in grime so easily, I do wonder if people do clean them more often, skirting boards and window frames once a month at a push sometimes less 🙈

Logging off and putting a basket of laundry away - taking my own advice as it is so easy to waste 10 minutes online.

Please don't be hard on yourself OP. Three kids and a full time job is tough enough.

Make sure you have good cleaning tools. Would a Swiffer make it easier to do the entrance, kitchen and bathroom floors quickly every few days?

Bedding once a week or 2, kids bedding once a month as they take a shower right before bed

I'm sorry but changing their bedding once a month is pretty yuck.

Unless they wash their hair every day, their pillow slips must be filthy (even if you can't see it.) Everyone has oil on their face or scalps which gets onto bedding.

@Alittlelostinlifeisi I 'hope' you're a single parent because if there is another adult at home, and they do nothing, you need to post in Relationships!

If I had that little time and was only able to do the things you’ve mentioned once a month (im not judging you), I think the only answer is a cleaner.

I have a day off so can blitz the house weekly plus try and keep on top of the smaller things daily which you may be able to do -

Wipe over the toilet/sink daily - takes 5 mins
Load of laundry every day (goes on at 6am as soon as I wake up and all ready in the machine the night before). Hang out before work/tumble dry if rainy. Get it in as soon as im home. Hang it out at night if its Summer.
Kids never miss a daily shower/bath as its always been part of the routine (the same as eating dinner every night).
Run the hoover round daily in the evening.
Get a spray mop so its ready to use when you need it for the floors.

I think if you can only keep on top of things as much as you say, you really need additional help brought in if finances allow, but you could make a list of smaller tasks to do daily to stop dirt building up.

When you do get time to do the housework, one tip to use is the timer method when cleaning a room - set it for 30 mins and try and clean it all within that time. It sounds silly but it really does work. It focuses your mind on the task and I put my phone as far away as possible when im doing housework (only leave it on in case theres an emergency with the kids). I think its too easy these days to get sidetracked by whats app/mumsnet/fb and constant messaging or emails.

Well I disagree there, I have always washed their entire clothing except coats, jackets, ties etc.

I should add that I wrote this just for you and agree with all posts that if another adult is at home, everything should be shared if you are working an equal amount of time.

Try listening to a podcast 'a slob comes clean' Dana K Wright. She explains that some if us are not naturally clean and tidy. She helps you put systems in place to get organised and stay organised. Listen for free on you tube. You are not alone.

All.i can say is don't think you can suddenly just get your house clean and decluttered in 1 day/week/month.

It takes time to change habits, and if you're lacking energy then you're not going to suddenly going to start cleaning before/after work.

Be realistic and start with small changes to your daily/weekly routine. Have a look into cleaning schedules and do one that works for you. Try not to clean your whole house in 1 day. However, the more you clean the quicker it becomes as there's less dirt/ clutter to get rid of.

As a minimum:

Wash bedding weekly (you may have to do your bed 1 week, then the kids bedding the following week).

Depending on the kids age get them in the bath together, use it as playtime and try to clean the toilet and sink. Try and wash the tub before they get in. Or wash the youngest first and the oldest can wash themselves in the same bath water. Ideally the bathroom should be cleaned once a week.

Pay for a car wash that includes the inside every 1-2 months.

When you do declutter, don't separate things to sell. Either donate or bin/tip to get rid of stuff quickly. I usually shove a bag of clothes in a clothes bin that's next to bottle banks, save me time of actually going to a charity shop.

Floors really need to be cleaned once a week minimum. For now maybe try once fortnightly.

Set certain tasks for certain days and stick with it. Tuesday- bathroom and kids bath. Wednesday- bedding. Fridays- floor.

You need to be doing more than you are, OP, but take no notice of some of the advice on this thread! MN has an obsession with washing and cleaning. You really, really don't need to change the beds or the towels every week, and you really, really don't need to clean the bathroom or the floors every week. Most things will last for at the very least a fortnight.

Shower and clean pjs every night would be a priority for now. It sounds like you have a lot of clutter. Chuck out what you don't need or haven't worn or used for a year or so then you can put things away and keep on top of it a bit better. Do one clean bed every weekend then everyone will have a clean bed hopefully before too long.

I agree wholeheartedly. If you are all getting D&V regularly and your kids are being bullied for being smelly then change your ways. If not just accept you are working full time with 3 little kids and the cleaning you are doing is sufficient. Spending time with your kids worth more than shiny bathroom.