Dirty.

[Alittlelostinlifeisi]

I usually wash things when I notice they’re dirty, and I am a bit shortsighted and I observant so it probably takes me longer than most to notice. I wash bedclothes on each bed once a month or 2. I wash my floors every month or 2. I wash my bathrooms every month or 2. I wash my hair once a week. I shower or bath at least once daily but I wash my children about once a week. I work full time in a job that entirely zaps my energy and really struggle with my energy level when I come home hence the washing self to feel better. I feel disgusting. My car is filthy. My wardrobes are a mess. I have too much stuff to keep it all in order. I have always a pile of usually clean laundry just not folded and I never iron. I do keep the dishwasher and washing machine going and the basic kitchen ok, but don’t look in the cupboards or oven or air fryer. Does anyone have any useful judgements or advice for me to not be so lazy😳 am I being unreasonable to think that most people do not live like this?

Once a month or two is nowhere near enough to clean a bathroom.

You need to get into good maintenance habits so that there is less need to do a “big clean”. So every day my shower screen gets sprayed and squeegeed; the kitchen gets wiped down daily etc. Not letting it build up means that when you come to do the “proper clean” (at least once a week ideally), it doesn’t take very long, become a big deal or matter if you don’t do a particularly good job

Get rid of as much as you can. The less stuff you have, the less there is to organise and clean. It is hard. Don’t beat yourself up. I had a huge declutter and it made things manageable, not easy, but better. I feel on top most of the time now and it’s not such a big job to tidy up when it is a mess. Be kind to yourself and make sure you celebrate the little wins along the way x

We do need to use shampoo.

A once weekly bath/ shower is no way good enough for children- especially as their bedding will be a month unwashed, too.

We had a couple of smelly kids at school- so not fair on them.

Urine and poo traces cannot be wiped away with loo roll
They need soapy water to be fresh.
Daily ideally.

My kids only have a bath once a week, obviously if they were particularly dirty I would chuck them in for an extra one. I was talking to a Dr and he actually stated that people bathe their kids too often. Mine are young though so no BO at this stage, obvs as they get older they will increase.
Bedding and towels I do once a fortnight. Clothes done regularly.
Cleaning bathroom you do need to keep on top of I think. Doesn't really take long to do a basic clean.

Exactly- agreed! Lots of judgy judgy pearl clutching going on here. Typical MN. This woman who is clearly struggling with full time work, motivation and young children and I’m guessing either is single or has a useless partner has come on here for support and understanding not to be told she’s a dirty bitch and should be ashamed. Stop being so fucking nasty!

FYI you judgy clean freaks- a child under 10 does not need a daily bath or even every other day. 1-2 a week is fine at a minimum. The person who suggested bathing a young child once a week is neglect needs to clean out their head. Immediately. With their Cillit Bang !! 💥

The 6 and 8 year olds can be trusted to wash themselves "well enough" each evening during the week and keep doing it yourself on the day that you normally do to make sure they get a deep clean and hairwash etc. The three year old you can wash alongside yourself each evening whether that be a shower or flannel wash etc.

Ridiculous

God, I think you're doing fine really. You should be a bit kinder to yourself and so should everyone else.

Do you have a partner to help with any of this? If you're the only one making any effort, it's a lot. Don't berate yourself.

I am leaving this thread as honestly, it's yucky. And I don;t mean the OP who is clearly struggling and has no help. But others who think bathing kids once a week is ok.
Signed
Judgey clean freak.

Can you afford a cleaner? Even a cleaner who comes twice a month would enable you to have a clean house, and then bathing kids daily is non negotiable.

It is though, as the millions of us who were bathed weekly growing up can vouch for, and as backed up by the experts. More often is fine too.

Isn't it wonderful when multiple approaches are fine and so we can all do what works best for us?

Hi @Alittlelostinlifeisi

I hope you haven't been scared away. It sounds like you recognise there is a problem and that's a good start.

To start, I would suggest you go through each room with a bin bag for rubbish and a bin bag for anything that may be charity shop-able. Be ruthless. Kids could help with this...

Secondly, get spare bedding and towels for each person - George at Asda or Dunelm is good enough quality without being expensive.

Thirdly, can you alternate one of the younger children bathed a night, so they're getting clean every other night and the 8 year old sorts themselves - you just need to hand them a towel really unless they have long hair.

Fourthly, cleaning regime. You will need to decide whether one big clean over the weekend or a bit every day will fit better with your health and time. I do everything twice a week, but if you're out at work/school all week, weekly should be fine:
Hoover all carpets, steam mop kitchen and bathroom floors (normal mop or cloth rinsed in very hot water with Dettol/Milton spray straight on the floor would do the same job)
Dust
Kitchen surfaces and hob (gets a quick wipe daily but thoroughly twice a week)
Clean bath, toilets and surfaces/sinks
Towels and bath mat and bedding done weekly

Things like dusting ceilings and cleaning fridges can probably be done once a month or so.

I feel a bit the same, my house is always disorganised and not exactly super clean underneath all the clutter. But does it actually matter?

What would having sparkling clean skirting boards add the the quality of my life for me and my kids? It's not as if there are vermin running around or my house smells bad.

I clean the kitchen and get rid of all food waste within 24 hours of making a mess.

I don't want the reception room to be so unkempt that I feel embarrassed when people come over so the living room is kept reasonably tidy and the floor is mopped every now and then. My husband usually does that. And we have carpet on the stairs/landing so I use a window scraper type thing to get the hair that accumulates in it (I shed like a golden retriever) the hoover it about once a week.

And I occasionally model at home so I clear all the surfaces in my bedroom to create a non-cluttered background for photography- that's the cleanest the bedroom ever is.

I clean the bathroom when it looks not-clean. Not very often to be honest.

That's about it.

Just because your kids might be filthy, mine certainly isn’t!

DS prefers indoor activities and has never gone through the knees of his trousers or joggers and he’s a teen now. Not all boys are into football, cycling and climbing. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am short-sighted too and don’t always see crumbs etc. If you have hard surface floors, the Bissell Cross Wave is awesome—it was a game changer for me. I systematically mop the floors with it once a week, and run a cloth in the corners. It vaccums and mops at the same time, and has saved me loads of time. The cleaner itself is a little pricey, but I think it is worth it for the results. Also does area rugs.

I think you are doing awesome…three little kids, full time job. That’s a heckuva lot to do. If you at all can afford it, a cleaner for a couple hours a week, and this may sound extravagant, but get a laundry delivery service. Our neighbours do that as they have a big house, a holiday let and two small children, and it has helped them loads.

Little kids need baths at the most 3x a week. THe 8-year old maybe more hose downs. My mom had me run through the sprinklers in the summer to get hosed off and it was a lot of fun.

I also love the daily sprays for showers…we are in a hard water area with a load of lime, and this just fixes the problem of keeping the glass clear. The Method Passionflower one has a lovely smell and works super well. Good luck with everything.

Do you have a friend or relative who can help?

Outside eyes are very useful when it comes to decluttering

I also bathe the kids once a week by default (8 and 4) unless they are sticky in which case more as needed! They both get eczema if I am not careful and this seems to work. They don't smell.

Sheets after more than 10 days start to get a bit rank IMO.

Maybe get a cleaner to help with bathrooms if you can. I have also got robot vacuum cleaners recently which is wonderful for keeping the floors under control.

I'm lazy and hate housework so I understand. I'd try and bathe the kids 3 times a week especially in the hot weather they get sticky and sweaty with suncream and dirt from playing outside. Beds do fortnightly, bathrooms fortnightly, just try and do everything a bit more regularly for a couple of months and I think you'll feel much more on top of things. I do find the longer I leave things the longer it takes to clean whereas if I did it once a week it would be a ten min job!

Meh. 40 years ago kids were lucky to wash once a week.

I was just going to say the same. In our house it was a strip wash most days, bath once a week. Twice tops. We didn't smell.

The other thing I find helpful is I have a big wipeable mat stuck to the wall with all the cleaning tasks on and the date I did them as otherwise I sometimes don't realize when I have left something for ages!

There were a lot of things that were ok 40 years ago,

This is why travelling on the Tube is so unpleasant these days.

Yes things change for a reason, babies did die from not having car seats or from being put to sleep on their tummy. No children died from being bathed once a week.

If anything, personal hygiene standards have increased hugely in recent decades, so if travelling on the tube has become less pleasant it won't be because of individuals' bathing schedules - it'll be because numbers are higher, or even just that you've become more sensitive to it.

My goal for my children is not to just save them from death.Super low bar there!

I agree with pp that this is why so many women post here daily complaining of their partner's hygiene and why they have to nag them into bathing.

Isn’t it sad that we encourage burned out mothers to clean while their kids bathe, when this may be a precious moment to enjoy and connect with them

I say fuck cleaning in between all the moments in your life. Take the opportunity to rest and smile at your kids, talk to them, be nourished by that and accept that you cannot do it all, think carefully about your priorities and be prepared to let some stuff go