To find many People on Mumsnet are fake!

[leavingabusetoday]

im writing here litreally from observation of a few threads.
One the other day was about a song lyrics which was wrong being about anal sex and some of the posters made out the word sex was crude.
on one today about a women with a hangover all the comments was on 7 year old shouldn’t have been left till 10am.
there was one about a women missing a wedding with a newborn and many people were commenting saying the dad should come back that night (because imagine a women having to look after kids on her own for one night)

i read Mumsnet regularly and I find nearly every other poster to act as if they are middle class have a husband who works a good job. Have never left a child unsupervised for half a hour up to the age 10….

i don’t know if it’s me (I’m a single mum council flat which is temporary) but it seems everyone on here acts as if they live comfortably large houses if you read a thread in houses everyone’s got a en-suite I got 3 people in one room 🤣 and I’m not jelous I had a horrible life that I’ve left now have a degree and nearly a home of my own and I’m really happy just wondered if it’s fake Reply’s , fake OPs or that genuinely the demographic of users.

Maybe some of this is AI and trolls.

But I find it bizarre that people assume that everyone whose life is different from theirs must be lying? It’s so lacking in Imagination to be immediately suspicious that someone who says they are a high earner must be a fantasist.

Why do you assume everyone is paid roughly the same and has the same circumstances? Surely you are aware that in real life there are very affluent people and very poor ones. We live in a very unequal world, sadly. Why can’t some of the very rich people be on here?

I think there’s a weird idea that if people post about a life that is unfamiliar to someone else, it must be a lie. It only works on way though, often people on lower incomes will claim more affluent people are lying, but you don’t get the high income posters shouting that the less affluent must be lying.
We have a high income, live in a large ish 4 bed house (in the midlands, both commute a couple of days a week into London) and have 3 children. Most of the people I know socially live the same sort of lifestyle. That doesn’t mean I don’t know different circumstances don’t exist, or disbelieve those who say that live in a 2 bed council flat for example. So not sure why it’s disbelieved the other way!

Definitely this.

I can also spot the occasional incel post on relationships threads, they love to stir because they hate women.

@Youdontevengohere

I agree, it’s quite noticeable. It’s also noticeable that the claim which tends to prompt the greatest suspicion on here is when a woman (as opposed to her husband) earns a high salary.

This famously happens every time anyone posts with a salary of £100k or above. You immediately will get seven or eight posters saying “course you do dear.”

It’s quite depressing that so many people find the idea of a woman earning a high salary so out of reach so implausible that they dismiss it out of hand.

I've recently come back to MN after a long break and the only thing that has really changed in 10 years is that the replies are nastier. Probably a reaction to all the crap of the last 10 years, but it's sad. It feels like every thread has people (not even trolls, genuine posters) competing to say the edgiest, nastiest thing... and then you have to wade through that to find the posters turning up with advice and kinder words. I'm not sure why people feel like they can / should / have to be this way, but it's significantly worse than it used to be.

That said, Mumsnet has its target demographic, but it's never been solely for the middle class mums in leafy suburbia. When I joined the first time around, I was a full time uni student, living in halls, my parents had no money (and no intention of supporting me anyway) and I'd just found out that I was pregnant.

It's only thanks to the support and reassurance of people on Mumsnet that I am where I am now; with a ten year old who lights up my life and a first class degree I didn't even need to take time out of uni from, plus postgraduate qualifications. It didn't matter that I wasn't wealthy and married and living in Surrey.

Nowadays I think I'd have to sift through two pages of comments about "what a stupid decision", "what did you expect to happen if you had sex?" and "why should my taxes fund you to stay at university?" before getting any meaningful advice, which is sad.

I do think some posts are fake and some posters are trolling. That's bound to happen on an anonymous forum like this. I feel there are a lot more aggressive posts than there used to be too - it's hard to tell if people are really that aggressive or play acting but I suspect the former is mostly the case.

Best to take what chimes with you and ignore the rest. There is still a lot of good advice given and some OPs posts do ring very true, especially when they continue responding. Others stop responding when they clearly disagree with the majority view which suggests that they just wanted to wind people up.

As for different life circumstances- of course there are many different situations. My friends are generally fairly well-off and university educated but through work and some other aspects of my life, I'm well aware there are people living in poverty or with limited means.

It's the internet, doesn't matter whether on here or Twitter people are melodramatic and make shit up.

From a demographic point ot veiw I've never been convinced many are middle class and well educated, we see lots of 'doctor here' or 'solicitor here' but I don't believe it for a minute. I think most <present company excepted > spend their days on the sofa surrounded by crisp packets.

Keep your eyes peeled for an increase in the infiltration by journalists over the next few weeks. I suspect there's already a hard core who regularly stir the pot.

@iwentjasonwaterfalls
Really pleased it all worked out.

Well done

Why though? Who would pretend to be a doctor or a solicitor to a bunch of complete strangers?

I mean a small handful of weirdos with problems might do that. But why is it so surprising to you that people are doctors or solicitors?

It tickles me that people on her think they are middle class and a bit more high brow than other forums.....then you read the replies and stories 🤣🤣🤣

You’d have to be a real weirdo to lie - it’s anonymous!

I got accused that I wasn’t really the bog standard professional I actually am. If I was weird enough to lie I would say I was something more interesting than a solicitor!

Posh is relative anyway. I was seen as massively posh by my rural comp
peers and very much the opposite by my university public school friends. You can’t win in the middle!

Absolutely this: you may get the odd person who creates a fantasy persona on Mumsnet, sure.

But the idea that everyone who claims to be a doctor or a solicitor must be lying is batshit. Honestly it says more about the inner life of the people who claim to be able to spot “fakes” than it does about the poster.

Also why is it so unbelievable that people are doctors or solicitors? There are millions of both in the UK. Statistically it’s perfectly plausible that some of these are on here surely?

Some people make up stuff online.

Some people earn way over the national average.

Some people ride horses.

Some people live in Scotland.

Some people have chaotic lives.

Some people don't see much life outside their own bubble.

All of these things can be true, and will affect what you read on Mumsnet.

I find MN quite funny and it's definitely getting easier to spot the fakeys. I start from the position that it's an entertainment site and the OP might be who they say they are but they might also be a bored teenager who's looking to wind up all the wimmen.

I don't think it's all fake but there are some very suspect posters. If in doubt, don't comment and move on.

I do agree with your comment there as many people know medical professionals can't give out info online that they are not willing or can't put put there name to . Why don't many people not know this ?You can't ask people medical professionals, why do people not know this ?

Agree. Netmums on the other hand, seems very different.

Gosh, I am surprised you don't know anyone who doesn't own a car in London. I'd say it's 50/50 amongst my friends there. Parking so appalling and public transport so good that I suspect it will move even closer to non-car ownership.

My life would probably be considered fake, but it’s not.

I like mumsnet because I don’t know anybody in RL who is in a similar position to me and it’s ok to talk about money if you’re anonymous.

I believe the people who say they’re rich; there are certain usernames that I recognise that must be in a similar position to me based on how they post.

You can spot the fake threads when they fill up quickly and go into a series of threads with silly titles. Thread 1 - “Wwyd, my next door neighbour is spying on me?”, thread 2 - “peeping Tom, my spying neighbour cont.” thread 3 - “Peeping Tom goes rogue”. Posters lap it up and it’s so obviously someone making it up.

Just because someone appears to have a different lifestyle doesn’t mean they’re fake.
I’m always baffled by these “only on MN” “parallel universe” comments, like people really can’t get their heads around people who are different existing.

The fawning on those threads is sickening.
Please put this in classics
I've just spat out my tea
I've woken my cousin who lives on Mars I've laughed so loud
They're amusing at best, but loads of people will claim to be 'howling'.

I don't think there's any benefit to be gained from faked responses

The mumsnet demographic isn't fully representative of the general population as some socioeconomic groups are a lot less likely than others to have the time and inclination to use a forum like this.

This is the Internet, Mumsnet is not some special place.

At least 30% of posts will be completely made-up. Another 40-50% will be sanitised, massaged posts designed to paint the OP in the best light possible and the target of their ire as the worst human ever to live, because they want validation and not actual advice.

Basically, you can only rely on about 20-30% of posts to be genuine. The trick is to find them.