To be a bit upset that my mum doesn't know who inherits the house?

[chillyolives]

My mum is 55. My step dad is 44 (don't call him that, to me he's my real dad)

Anyway, I asked her casually what happens to the house if she and my dad were to die.

She said it's being left to the kids. So assuming me, and my 3 technically half siblings

I said, is she sure I would even get something since I am probably not named as one of the kids, as I'm not my dads biological etc etc

She said really absent mindedly 'oh I don't know actually, I'm sure you are included surely'

And then changed the subject.

Does anyone know if I would actually get a share of the house or not?

My mum is a lovely, lovely woman but has raging ADHD and avoids any direct, pressing issues she'd aerially have to go and find out via a 3 step process of more etc

So it's not that she's avoiding the truth on purpose, I'm sure.

My dad is a man of few words. To everyone. And I feel too awkward asking him

I would be heartbroken if they died and I'd been left out. Wouldn't you?

No I really wouldn’t 🤨

Of course I can't

Shocked u had the cheek to ask.

I had the 'cheek' to ask because why would it be a secret? I am, after all, the most likely person by a long shot to take care of my singling if both parents go

Again though, this comes back to being transparent with my own DC in the future. It wouldn't occur to me that it's cheeky to ask

My grandmother has always been open about her Will. Never seen it as a secret

They're quite young for this sort of talk. If your mum is on the house deeds then you should get a share, regardless of who paid for it. But it's too much of a complicated conversation at this stage, I would not bring it up. If your mum dies first and leaves everything she owns to your dad, then it will come down to him what happens to it.
I'm not far off that age and I haven't even got a will. I'm ok with that at the moment as I only have two children and no partner so it would automatically end up with them getting half each. If I made a will now I may change it in the future to include future grandchildren etc. Who knows what someone will choose to do in 30-40 years?
If my children, one of whom is around your age, wanted to have a serious conversation about my will I'd be a bit shocked. But if they were just asking general questions I'd be fine with it.

The government don't take a chunk of anything except if an estate is very large and inheritance tax is due. Very few people leave enough for that to be payable, though. The other circumstance in which the government might scoop the pool would be the very rare cases where someone dies without a will and no relatives close enough to inherit under the intestacy laws can be traced.

(I'm not a lawyer but I did train as an accountant a long time ago and the law around inheritance was covered.)

I think it’s hilarious the way you constantly insist this is not about money 😂

You absolutely can ask of course you can....but what actual good would it do? Additionally all you would find out...assuming that you are told anything....is what the situation is right now.

Glad you find it funny

Well stop saying it is not about money when that is EXACTLY what it is about! At least be honest.

@Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers it's about what it represents

But for me personally this is about my mum being a bit blase and laid back. There's no way she would intentionally leave me without a share

However, some posters have really opened my eyes up - Some parents truly must be awful if they're willing to leave one DC out and posters are defending it all with 'they can do what they like' etc etc. Of course they can do what they like. That doesn't make it okay!

What is represents. Give me a break! It’s about getting your “share”. You know like the one your grandmother is leaving you.

@Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers

Again, it's about what 'my share' represents, obviously

You really think it's absolutely normal and not at all strange to have 4 DC and leave just one of them out?

If one of your half siblings is 9 then you likely aren't currently in the will as any assets they have would go towards raising your half siblings. Unless they have lots and lots of money I'd think you won't be in the will until all your siblings are adults. Our current will states if we are to die with minor children it all goes to their upbringing. Once the youngest reaches the end of their formal education whatever is left gets divided 4 ways (if there's anything left).

I wouldn’t argue with you as I’m not an expert - only have life experience but I did think there was something about if you died intestate the government can claim it - is that just if there are no known relatives?

One of my half siblings isn't 9. Youngest is 11, almost 12.

And yes that's very fair, to have in that any dependents got it all for the remainder of their upbringing

Yes it represents money. You already know you will be inheriting from your grandmother also which also represents money.

@Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers you didn't answer my question. Why is that?

Get it sorted, fair and square and above board. Equal. Out in the open.

The alternative is like throwing a rock into a pond.

Regardless of what people are saying on here, I don't for one moment believe that ANY of them wouldn't be upset if they lost both their parents and then found out their three siblings shared an inheritance while they got nothing at all.

People say they would be fine with it, but I doubt they really would be. It's easy to say that while you don't think there's any chance at all of that happening to you.

It's a very different situation to the money all going on care etc and there being very little or nothing left for anyone to inherit.

Yes. https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

This gives you a flowchart to work through to see who inherits in various set ups. The gist is:
Spouse or civil partner first (even if separated - but not if divorced, obviously - and other partners don't count at all)
Children get a share too if the estate is quite large
If no spouse or civil partner, all goes to children
If any child has died before parent, their children (if any) get their share
Child here means biological child or legally adopted child but not stepchild or foster child
If no spouse, civil partner or children (or descendants of children) then all goes to the deceased's parents, if they are still alive
If they have already died, it goes to deceased's siblings in equal shares (biological siblings, adopted siblings but not half-, step- or foster siblings)
If any sibling has already died, their descendants get that share
If none of the above exist, then the half-siblings inherit, if any
If none of the above, the family tree gets traced back to the deceased grandparents and then down through aunts and uncles, first cousins, children of first cousins and so on, again putting full aunts and uncles before half-aunts and half-uncles.
If absolutely nobody from the above can be traced, it all goes to the Crown.

My mum is a similar age to yours OP and I'm a similar age to you.
We have had very open discussions about my parents will and their wishes.

I don't understand why it is such a taboo subject. The only thing I can think is all you on the thread who say it's grabby and I'd be written out the will for asking seem to thrive on the idea that there would be confrontation after their death and potentially cause even more pain and upset besides the grief of loosing a parent!

Ignore them OP. I would perhaps ask again from the angle of guardianship for your siblings and the house from that point of view. This is therefore you having a plan in place should the worse happen.

They may well live to 105 but they could also die in an accident today!

😂😂😂 and you won’t admit this is about money.

You don’t KNOW if you are in the will or not but are now panicking in case you don’t get your “share”. You are also set to inherit from your grandmother that your siblings will not be sharing in. Presumably they are her grandkids too? Or is she your birth father’s mother?

OP as you have a "blended" family I agree you should be sure your mum has considered a fair settlement for all the family in the event of one or both parents deaths.
In fact imo a reasonable parent let's their kids know their intentions and registers their will with the service that logs them and notifies of any changes to avoid fraud etc (can't remember it's name).
I hope your mum works with you to ensure a fair will alround.