Would you dry and fold your hosts' laundry?

[youdialwetile]

Interesting disagreement in our house about "helping" vs "overstepping".

DH's brother is staying with us - he's on holiday. I put on a wash before heading to work one morning. Came home (finish at lunchtime) and noticed BIL's laundry is on the line. I wondered what had happened to my load (was laundry for DH and me).

I assumed BIL had taken it out the washer and left in a basket. But no - he had put it all in the dryer, then sorted and folded. Thankfully there was nothing that couldn't stand a tumble - my gym kit usually line dries but it seems ok.

I'm just feeling a bit weird about him sorting through our underwear etc. He folded pants, matched socks, made a little pile of bras etc.

AIBU? My DD16 is with me, but DH and DS13 think it's totally normal and I'm being weird. So am I?

Unless you came home and found him wearing your underpants, YABVU. Its just bits of cloth.

Seeing them fine, touching them and goodness knows what going through is mind is a different story

It’s a considerate thing to do. If you know someone well enough for them to be in your house on their own you know them well enough to do the washing.

My SIL has twin two year olds, I can often be found doing a wash for them.

I have a pile of washing in the basket just off the line. If anyone, male or female, wants to pop over, hang or fold and put away please do so 😀.

If he put something into the drier against label instructions and common sense I'd be a bit annoyed. If it was a silk top or something I'd be furious. But folding underwear? Why would it bother you unless it's fetish gear?

While staying with my sister I have done ironing for her including my bil underpants. It was fine.
The only thing I felt uneasy about is my washing being dried and ironed by the woman who looked after the kids and also did light housework. That felt strange but was also quite nice.

Ironing pants 😮❓

He wanted to hang his own out so did the kind thing of taking yours down and dealing with it. Bit weird with underwear but sounds like he meant well.

My only gripe would have been if summat shouldn't go in the dryer. Other than that, crack on.

Am I the only one wondering tho why BIL put you and DH's laundry in the dryer but chose the line for his?!?!

Why not put it to a vote?
No one said you were angry, as you said it's a discussion but there's clearly a strong feeling of some sort going on. He's family. ? Don't pass your uptight irrational views onto your daughter, she's only 16. You're teaching her to view men folding underwear as creepy and weird.

You what now?

He sounds ace, seen him here please: I have three piles needs folding

Family wouldn’t bother me at all but I’d have wanted him to hang it on the line rather than tumble dry.

Exactly this. Don't overthink it. He did a nice thing.

@MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira

me too, but I'd rather he'd have put it on a line than in the dryer.

I've lived with family & friends and we have always just 'mucked in'. My BIL hanging out & folding my underwear didn't bother me at all when I was younger/thinner. Now I far prefer to hang the Apple catchers up myself.

Poor bloke probably thought "if I leave this basket full of wet laundry they're going to think I'm a right lazy sod. I'll just pop it in the dryer" and now he's been branded a pervert on MN!

Underwear is just clothing. If you'd found him sniffing your dirties then you'd have something to complain about.

Or if he'd ruined something which shouldn't have gone on the dryer.

@PotterHead1985 no you're not the only one. But maybe theirs seemed light & quick to dry in the dryer & maybe his didn't or something like that?!

Fondling?!?

Don't be ridiculous!

If he'd left it in the basket, I assume you'd say he dumped it!

Unless it's towels or sheets I pretty much never have a load of washing that can all go in the dryer - something would have been wrecked and I'd be pissed off.

I’m pretty sure he was FOLDING, not fondling

I couldn’t really care less about people seeing my clean undies, we all wear them.

I’d be grateful he’d saved me a job, I hate doing laundry!

I’d have been more annoyed at wet washing being left in a basket to inevitably go stale and need re-washing.

If you were worried about laundry being touched or inappropriately dried maybe you should have put it in when you got home instead of before heading out so the machine(s) were free and you were around to sort your own drying.

If he'd left your wet laundry in a basket all day and you came home to it not smelling very fresh how would you have felt? What if he had pegged it out?
Did you thank him?

I understand that it could make you feel a bit weird but as long as you don't think he has been imagining you in said lingerie I think it's fine.

I did tell STBEH not to peg out when my washer finished when he came over for something as I didn't want him touching my underwear so I do get it but really it's all okay. It's done.

Who folds knickers??

@karottybagel the OPs bil? She stated that?

I think there is a divide here between those who wear sexy pants and those who dont