Would you dry and fold your hosts' laundry?

[youdialwetile]

Interesting disagreement in our house about "helping" vs "overstepping".

DH's brother is staying with us - he's on holiday. I put on a wash before heading to work one morning. Came home (finish at lunchtime) and noticed BIL's laundry is on the line. I wondered what had happened to my load (was laundry for DH and me).

I assumed BIL had taken it out the washer and left in a basket. But no - he had put it all in the dryer, then sorted and folded. Thankfully there was nothing that couldn't stand a tumble - my gym kit usually line dries but it seems ok.

I'm just feeling a bit weird about him sorting through our underwear etc. He folded pants, matched socks, made a little pile of bras etc.

AIBU? My DD16 is with me, but DH and DS13 think it's totally normal and I'm being weird. So am I?

No, touching peoples clothes is a bit much. Washing up is fine.

I think it's nice of him 😊 my brother in law did this when we went to stay with him in Florida - with five kids, myself and DH I was very grateful!

@karottybagel surely he'd have nicked a pair to wank with?

What's the point with a fondle?

Decent and considerate of him.

What else should he have done: leave it damp in a basket? That would have been up for criticism too

Oh yes, I agree. (The reason they just washed underwear is because that's all that was in the basket, but that was because it needed hand washing and I hadn't got around to it.)

It would freak me out a bit tbh but I'm sure he did it to be helpful and considerate so I wouldn't make a big deal out of it

I just don’t get why people are so wound up about this- it’s just clean clothes!

We visit and stay with family, and they us, and any washing needing done gets chucked in the machine, and whoever’s about when it’s done, deals with it-hanging it up/putting in dryer. This means I’ve regularly handled my adult cousin’s boxers, and he’ll have had his hands on my pants…they’re just clothes!

Who said he didn't

I just don’t know where people’s minds go…is this really your first thought in relation to laundry?

Only someone with a very warped mind would go there.

Peak MN - helpful BIL is actually a pervert and must have only been helpful to fondle and/or steal her knickers

@karottybagel I'm sure he did! If I was OP I'd be checking his room and also logging it with 101, it would be a perfectly rationale thing to do!

🙃

Me too!

He wasn’t being ‘thoughtful’ or ‘helpful’, it seems like he took the washing out of the machine because he wanted to use the washing machine for himself, at that time, rather than wait.

Then he put stuff on to tumble dry, which could’ve shrunk certain things, rather than leave it in the basked or hang it out.

I know it's scary sometimes!

What are you doing op? Trying to make out he is some kind of pervert gagging to touch your undies? Clearly he dried and folded as he wanted to yss the machine and didn’t wish to leave everything wet and on the side.

very kind of him, I’m sure he isn’t doing it as he’s a laundry pervert.

Thank god for some sense-I was starting to think I was missing something!

No way, what’s going on in your head you’d even think this??

You're way too into this

Exactly, the imagination and mindset of some is not scary it’s terrifying!

Personally l couldn’t care less who sees me standing in my knickers, let alone seeing them freshly laundered in a washing basket.

Wouldn't your clothes have gotten mildewy if he hadn't put them on the dryer? I wouldn't mind.

Omg I'd love a house guest like that. After years of hosting my ex's family who criticised, trashed the house and ate all of the food I bought that ex somehow never got round to actually giving me his contribution for. I'm not precious about people seeing my undies though. They are hung to dry in the stairwell when it rains (it's Scotland so always raining) and I'd just appreciate the help.

If he's given you reason to find him odd or creepy in other ways then it's totally different of course .

I'd be made up to host someone so kind! I wouldn't be arsed about underwear with such a close relative as a BIL, he's family, it's not like you're hosting one of your DH's colleagues or a mate you don't know whose done it or something.

'Fondling'? Are you serious? My god, mumsnet misandry really is on another level. I would actually argue that shit like this is why real misogyny isn't taken seriously. It's the boy who cried wolf.

Most replies have said he was just being thoughtful, to be fair.