To consider pulling out of being MOH less than a fortnight before wedding?

[Rolomania]

Been best friends with the soon to be bride for well over 10 years. She’s always had a gob on her, putting her foot in it and is very opinionated. She has a lot of great qualities about her, which is why she is my best friend despite having to tell her to keep her opinions to herself sometimes.

I am her maid of honour in 12 days time… she has 2 other bridesmaids.

She has in my opinion taken it too far this time, and spread her judgemental opinions onto our other friend who is currently grieving a very close relative. To her face, other friend absolutely devastated with the lack of compassion and walked out.

I told best friend her comments were nasty and she seems not to care, said she can’t be bothered with someone dimming her shine with grief whilst she’s trying to focus on the wedding.

I just feel like pulling out of being maid of honour and telling her I’ve put up with some opinions from her for the last 10 years, but she’s taken it too far.

But because wedding is in 12 days, everything paid for, my dress, make up hair etc I just feel awful.

What would you do. I feel stuck

This!

The friendship is over, she’ll dump you after her wedding anyway. I’d send her a message saying you’re not doing it and move on. I’m sure the day would be dreadful for you anyway, bride or not she doesn’t get the right to be cruel to your friend.

Wow. See I don't believe in bridezilla. She is showing her true colours. Well done you for being strong.

Sounds like you made the right call op.

Good for you!

Book a wonderful lunch, walk, drinks, spa whatever with your friend on that date turn your phones off, and enjoy never having to deal with her shit again.

You've done the right thing op, your ex-friend sounds totally devoid of decency and empathy. I predict stormy times ahead for whoever she's marrying ...

Well done, OP!. It’s so difficult to stand up to a best friend sometimes, but she’s an absolute arse and you’ve done the right thing. I understand weddings are stressful but she’s taken it to another level and she’s just being cruel.

That was really nasty of her yeah she's getting married soon but someone else has lost a close relative and is understandably gutted. Your soon to be bride friend really should of kept her mouth shut. There's a time and a place and it was neither for her comments. Id be sacking the wedding and the friendship too tbh.
Just saw your last post I'm glad you pulled out as she sounds unbelievably toxic, imagine acting like that when someone's stepdad has died. What if it were her in other friends shoes?

Well Done @Rolomania good for you! You may feel nervous but feel proud of yourself!

Yes, pull out.

The friendship is over, surely?
What do you have to lose?

I agree with this. Very much a sociopath. She lacks sympathy on a whole new level

Doh! Well done for walking away.

You gave her a chance to redeem herself, but she blew it. You've done the classy thing.

Now block her.

Sociopaths generally treat their lovers in a different way to their friends. Friends are disposable but lovers serve a physical (namely sexual) purpose. So they treat them with more care and respect

Is she now posting on social media for attention about how her friends have let her down, by some chance?

She really is a self absorbed narc.

The hardest pill to swallow was realising it’s nothing to do with the wedding, she isn’t being like this becuase she’s in bridezilla mode, she’s genuinely like this often. This is obviously the lowest she’s gone, but she’s definitely said a lot of insensitive things to myself other friends in the past

She must be a pretty DUMB sociopath to not see how bad this makes her look, no self awareness or impulse control😶

Sounds like a narcissist.

Well there's time for her to piss off the other bridesmaids yet! She's definitely a sociopath.

Edited: Well done by the way OP. Good choice

Jesus Christ there’s something seriously wrong with her?!! Why would you say that even if you were that fucked up to think it!! I’m so happy that your poor friend who’s grieving knows she’s got you in her corner, and hopefully that spiteful twat will get a hell of a (well deserved) shock

The people who say that ”people are too sensitive” are usually the most cruel and insensitive folks walking the earth.

I can’t tell you whether or not to back out of being the MOH, but if you do and if the bride has a fit, by all means tell her she’s being “too sensitive.”

I think people like the bride honestly deserve a dose of their own medicine.

Oh my goodness. Just reading your update! Awful behaviour on the bride to be's part. She doesn't want the bereaved friend to get attention near to her wedding day?! Is she for real?! Horrible woman. I'm glad you've pulled out. Support your bereaved friend instead.

Bloody hell 😳. She’s Grade A vile!

This sounds this like the final straw and your eyes have been well and truly opened.

Well done.

Good for you OP! I was already going to say that based on her initial behaviour towards your grieving friend, I would've pulled out of the wedding and the friendship on the spot; I have no time for that kind of behaviour, bridezilla or not.

Your updates are horrendous and there is no way I would remain friends with someone like that. It's not even a situation where an apology would suffice or even be forthcoming and sadly, I doubt she will ever acknowledge or change her behaviour. You are better off out of that - she is no friend.