To consider pulling out of being MOH less than a fortnight before wedding?

[Rolomania]

Been best friends with the soon to be bride for well over 10 years. She’s always had a gob on her, putting her foot in it and is very opinionated. She has a lot of great qualities about her, which is why she is my best friend despite having to tell her to keep her opinions to herself sometimes.

I am her maid of honour in 12 days time… she has 2 other bridesmaids.

She has in my opinion taken it too far this time, and spread her judgemental opinions onto our other friend who is currently grieving a very close relative. To her face, other friend absolutely devastated with the lack of compassion and walked out.

I told best friend her comments were nasty and she seems not to care, said she can’t be bothered with someone dimming her shine with grief whilst she’s trying to focus on the wedding.

I just feel like pulling out of being maid of honour and telling her I’ve put up with some opinions from her for the last 10 years, but she’s taken it too far.

But because wedding is in 12 days, everything paid for, my dress, make up hair etc I just feel awful.

What would you do. I feel stuck

@Rolomania you couldn't do anything but pull out of it all. Your grieving friend will never forget your support. She may feel guilty you are in this situation but she has no need to be.

It’s the me me me me me, it’s all’s our meeeeee generation.

well done OP. Good for you and your friend

So bridezilla says it's your fault for bringing a sympathy card to the meal???!!!
I know some people can turn a bit crazy leading up to a wedding but she just sounds plain nasty!

Well done OP ..your life will be so much better not having her toxic company to deal 👏👏

Bridewell really wasn't reading the room.was she?

I hope you are OK. When knowing you are doing the right thing doesn't mean its not upsetting. Take care.

You did the right thing, she's not a friend you need in your life. Heartless cow. Let her explain away her awful behaviour as to why she now has no maid of honour!

Good for you.

said she can’t be bothered with someone dimming her shine with grief whilst she’s trying to focus on the wedding.

That's just horrible.

Dear God. She just keeps digging doesn't she! I don't think you could have done anything else in that moment tbh. I think I would have had to do exactly the same while saying, You have got to be kidding me right?
Still hurtful to lose what you thought was a friend...And in such circumstances. Hope you are OK. And your other friend too

I still think the bride sounds kind of like a sociopath. It’s really not normal, even for a not very nice person, to think a friend’s response to her own stepfather’s death is part of some kind of campaign of sabotage of her wedding!

You know, lots of people go insane over their wedding and then a few years later, they feel very embarrassed about their behaviour. But she seems like that won’t be her. She isn’t going to feel embarrassed by how she behaved nor will she feel any guilt over it. Just doesn’t sound like a very nice person really. Glad you talked to her about it and showed her that the consequences of her behaviour are the loss of you as a friend.

Wow, that is some update. I know she's been your friend for a long time, but she's no loss. Her big gob has shown her up for who she is this time. I'll bet my shirt that she's the type who can dish it out but can't take it.

Well done op, you deserve so much better. What a horrible person. 💐💐💐

Wow. She really is a piece of work. She didn’t like you bringing a sympathy card for your friend. Crickey.

Sounds very insensitive.

People have very different attitudes towards death, but even so…

personally I’d look after the grieving friend who’s so upset and i would have it out with my best friend as soon i could. Sounds like she needs some tough love.

She might ditch you as MOH as a result anyway, but at least you’d have tried to do something

Zero tolerance for twats like this. She sounds like Bridezilla, but the stress of the upcoming wedding doesn’t excuse this. I’d ditch her as a friend and let her flap about finding a new MOH.

Just seen your update. Well done OP. You did the right thing.

I was coming here to say exactly this.

I’ve seen some batshit Bridezilla behaviour but this is something else 😳

Good on you for recognising that this goes beyond normal levels of wedding obsession. Such deeply unpleasant behaviour - I wouldn’t have been able to overlook such callous selfishness either.

I think you’ve done really well by calling this out and walking away.

All it needs is for the groom to hear about what she has said and done and maybe marrying her is not such a good idea as she has shown her true colours.

I'm stubborn and would pull out.

It will end your relationship with her but I wouldn't want to be friends with someone like that!

I hope she wakes up and realises how awful her attitude has been. From your update about having pulled out of the wedding, I don't think you had much option. I'm also not hopeful that she's going to realise her unreasonableness anytime soon. If ever.
In similar circumstances, one of our witnesses had a close family bereavement a couple of weeks before our wedding. We held our breath that they would be able to still make it along, but arranged a fall back witness to be on standby. Otherwise, it was looking after our friend and their family , and making sure they were okay etc.

Why don't you and your other friend do something nice together on the actual day instead?

Just make sure you tell the truth to anyone who asks what happened.
Quote her words to thm

Oh dear. That’s awful. I hope you are alright.

Well done for standing up for what’s right.

Wow. With that update, you can't even say it was a stupid comment in the moment from a stressed bride. I think you did the right thing.