to think that this current batch of 18 year olds are REALLY messed up?

[WishIMite]

I try not to generalise about groups of people, but I can't help but think, looking at my children who span various ages, that the current batch of 18 year-olds are more of a mess than the other age groups.

So much drug-taking, unable to make eye contact, rudeness (which I think is social ineptness) and lack of socialising together. Just a total lack of social skills and resilience really. They don't even seem to have proper friendship groups and alliances.

Can't help but wonder if lockdown hit them at a really crucial age.

Do other parents of 18 yo wonder the same, or is it just that my 18 yo and friends are particularly shit?

I dunno - I was 18 in 1992 and we were total pissheads. It was fun. My 18-year-old prefers the gym, gaming and driving to McDs at 2am 🙄

Agreed.
There are lovely and kind people of all ages, just as there are not so lovely and not so kind (in fact downright awful) people of all ages.

Lockdowns messed them up at a crucial stage of development.

Government policies were an attack on childhood.

The effects will be lifelong.

Where do you see that?

We are very proud of our 18 year old granddaughter.
Rather than getting shoehorned into some third rate university course with a debt at the end of it she is studying accountancy at our local college.
She was interviewed last week by a large international company. The feedback to the recruiting firm was ‘We can’t believe that was her first interview’ and ‘She was the best prepared candidate we’ve seen in 20 years’ and ‘Where on earth did you find her?’
She starts immediately after her next exam in June, pay £25,000 at 18, she is delighted as are we and her parents. Doesn’t drink or smoke, saved up and bought herself a car, and is strikingly pretty, (not that this would have affected her being offered the job 🤔)

Sigh. Honestly. Cop on.

With the horrendous conditions teens and young people face in many parts of the world, where their lives are really impacted, it's utterly ridiculous to be making such ludicrous statements.

@Goldenbear - pandemic? When was that? Must have missed it in London. Was it on the news?

I work in L&D and have recruited, worked with and mentored hundreds of interns over the last 14 years. I believe the lack of resilience comes down, in a way, to better parenting - or in some cases over parenting/helicopter-ing. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that they are more 'immature'. But the work ethic is something that has changed dramatically in the last 7 years or so - pre pandemic.

That is of course my own experience and doesn't relate to EVERY 18 year old in the entire world. And of course every generation will have different quirks. It doesn't make my experience boloney though.

In the OP.

So many tedious threads about how shit the yoof of today are

So you should be proud! Well done to her.

So you wouldn’t have been as proud of her if she was less attractive?

I agree OP may do seem very socially awkward and completely addicted to devices, rude- which I too feel comes from poor social skills. I think it’s if they have been exposed to too much synthetic stimulation. The shocking amount of vaping amongst the young will be an epic health disaster just like all the smoking diseases we’ve seen from previous generations.

The even younger generation are going to have complex MH issues with anxiety too of the list.

I'm lucky - mine doesn't drink or smoke and is very much into a healthy lifestyle - peer group are the same. A few friends kids smoke weed and party a lot but I don't think its any worse than when i was young!!

My ds is 18 and not like the op describes. He is very independent. Boarded a plane and visited two European countries by himself from 16. Loves to socialise and drive everywhere. I can't keep up!

I was pointing out my observations and asking if they were more widely the case (answer has been largely 'no').

So many tedious threads about how shit the yoof of today are

That's not what OP said, tbf. She recounted her own experiences with her DC & friends.

She's not giving out. She's asking if others share this experience.

Cannot relate to this at all with my 18 year old DC. DC at Uni studying medicine, very health conscious, sociable and focused.

However, you are describing me over 35 years ago!

I’ve done okay.

18 is too young to label.

I think they're very boring TBH! 🤣 My 18 yold drinks in the local pub sometimes but otherwise spends his time at the gym or playing football. Sometimes smokes weed. At his age, I'd been a whirlwind of sex, drugs & rock n roll for several years already and I was fairly typical of my age range. They never go clubbing and no girlfriends (or boyfriends) have appeared on the scene yet.

I'm mid 40s so my teenage years were the 90s.

In which case, giving the OP the benefit of the doubt, my 18yo and his mates are nothing like as described and are polite, don't seem to drink or do drugs and are all round pleasant young people.

@FunnysInLaJardin

🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes. As the vast majority of posters have said. RTFT!

But OP spoke about her own experience. And that's valid too. Not ageist.

My DD is 19. Out of her circle of school friends, a couple do seem lost-one close friend has become v. dependent on weed, although that’s more to do with her bf (whom no one likes) than other factors. Another had some problems adjusting back to in-person school and is still recovering, I think she’s improving now.

Everyone else went to uni and appears to be doing well. The pandemic definitely affected them at the time, but for them, I think it’s resulted in a “get on with my life” attitude, because the pandemic made them aware of how quickly things can change, iyswim.

I don't see this there are five teens 16-19 in my family. They are all health enthusiasts, three are vegan help out in community sports clubs. The one that did have a few bumps were minor and experimental with drink, now driving so they don't drink unless away on holiday.

I find them very emotionally mature,🤷‍♀️

It was prolific when I was 18 too, 30 odd years ago.

My 18 year is not like this, goes to school all week, works part time, no drugs, no boyfriend that I know of but plenty of male friends, saving to buy her first car, in fact I was having a conversation with my dh the other week about how sensible all the teenagers seem to be these days, when I was 18 I was a complete disaster

My 18 year old son is a sweetheart. I feel blessed to have him. He has a very gracious and dignified manner. I think he has wonderful interpersonal skills, if a tad on the reserved side. He is good natured and good humoured. He has a lovely group of friends and a really close bestie who is a girl. He doesn't drink or smoke etc - he's always marched to the best of his own drum and he's not really interested in alcohol right now.