Dad ruining wife's half-marathon finish

[BlowDryRat]

Has anyone else seen this video?

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Brief synopsis: A dad stands by the half-marathon finish line with his young daughters. Crucially, he's standing in front of the finish ribbon. When he sees his wife about to win the race, he encourages the toddlers to intercept her with hugs. She has to dodge them to avoid knocking them over, finishes the race and celebrates. Dad throws up his arms in disgust at her choosing to win the race rather than stop to hug her daughters.

IMO this is the perfect example of a man trying to make his wife's achievements all about him, then blaming her for his ineptitude and her wanting to celebrate her own achievement. A mother is an individual in her own right.

I feel the same way about men who propose to their partners when they've won a race/accepted an award/ celebrating their graduation.

YABU - he's an amazing dad and the mum let her kids down by selfishly taking the win.

YANBU - he's a dick.

It's not an assumption, it says so in many news reports.

You need to start a new thread

Its fine so long as they are running the last 30m of a marathon course with their mum.

In a fun run, when families/costumes are involved you have a good idea of what to expect. It's fun, there is a lot of bumbling about.
If I were actually racing and was close behind someone I would be very pissed at having to avoid their children on the track. Accidentally or agreed, it's selfish to the other runners, and quite dangerous.

Ffs. ‘Come on woman, you’ve had 1hr 40 minutes to yourself, that's more than enough, now get back to your kids‘. 🤣

I agree with you. I don't feel she would be that idiotic, since she does run. She would know the danger of runners getting tripped, the children falling or being hit by a motorbike.
I think she is covering for him because of the backlash he is getting.

That does make a difference.

I really doubt that a woman in a position to WIN a half marathon would suggest stopping a few meters from the end to pick up two kids and start running again. She's trained enough surely to know that's a stupid idea. I've never ran a half marathon but done lots of running as training for another sport. You're running on pure momentum by the end. We're not talking someone doing their first event "to be healthy for their kids".

He looks like he thought he and the kids were more important than her achievement or at the very least, completely incapable of assessing a situation and changing his plans accordingly. She's clearly not slowing or focused on the kids so get them out the way and get them to run at the side to meet her at the finish line.

I also agree that if what we all see is true, he's clearly going to be treating her like shit over it. So her saying it was her idea to protect him from the backlash would also make sense. It's absolutely something I would have done, and did very similar acts of taking the blame to protect exH from other people's backlash becuase I'd get tenfold from him of whatever he got from anybody else.

Glad you weren't my parents, they had their own independent lives. i think it's far healthier for parents to have identities away from being "mum" and this mum is smashing it!!!
Her children wont die because she ignores them for 5 metres and then 5 mins after. It's good for them to learn not everything revolves around them.

So are you saying she is a liar?

What I feel more sad about it is that I would have bypassed my kid, go and win the race and come straight back to deal with any heartbreak I caused my child for not stopping, because I know NOBODY would help to deal with that heartbreak even if I didn’t cause it.

I’m all by mums have rights too, and have raised my son knowing that mum also has the right to be at the front of the queue sometimes, or 50% of the time now that he is an adult, but… I am very conditioned to be there for him because if I am not there for him… who will? The dad who spent so much time working away, running marathons/cycling/golfing and later disappeared from his life because he had “a life to leave”?

I think about this clip every time I have a zoom presentation to do. I knew she was the mum straight away, the way she crawled along the floor to grab them in panic - only your own kids elicit that sort of wild frenzy!

My take on this video is that it's hard to judge without context. Could have been pre arranged, I'm also not sure that she won the race or if they held up banner for everyone.

What I will say is that the way we've interpreted it speaks to background expectations regarding women's achievements. Women expert to have their achievements downgraded or to come second because it happens to us all the time, either personally or women we know or see in the media, so we naturally interpret a situation along that pattern. It sucks!

My only slight surprise was that the mum didn't immediately run back to her confused kids and hug them to celebrate too

Immediately? Yes how dare Mum take a few minutes to celebrate her win. Awful isn't it.

Heartbreak? That's very dramatic and exaggerated language. I would be very worried by a kid that was 'heartbroken' by something like this. Their dad was right there for them and mum was probably right there after a minute or two.

Congratulations. Mine doesn't always. Assuming he is safe and not in trouble, when I am working, I am working, and when I am pursuing a hobby/sport seriously, that comes first.

Why on earth would your child be 'heartbroken' if you ran a few feet past them to finish your race?

martyrdom does not produce well-balanced, healthy kids.

There is also a motorbike just behind her. What is that dad thinking! Not only is he disrupting his wife's race, he is putting the kids in danger too.

I don’t think it’s a reach at all @Whatthefuckwasthat. The first thing that struck me on watching the footage was that he would have been aware of the months of hard work in training and that this was out and out sabotage because she’s taken time away from her family to do something for herself.

@NotAgainWilson

”heartbreak” really?!

A child the age of those kids might be. Mine would have stayed out of the way, so don’t be an arse, limiting yourself to strict literal interpretations of other people words can make life very difficult for those around you.

To be fair - it did sound a bit like those corporate wives that claim their husband couldn't be successful without them. I always think - get your own achievements.

What a Wotal Tucking Fanker.

How has this become a 'thing'?

A modest incident...whatever the reason, thrusting kids on to a finishing line was not a smart move.

But 'abuse' 'sabotage' 'heartbreak' , thousands of people picking it all apart....