How to not get jealous of luckily wealthy people?

[Bluesky91]

I’m not taking about self made people, it’s about people who do nothing, but somehow everything gets handed to them on a platter. Wealthy parents and then a wealthy husband. Example: Pippa Middleton

Im really struggling to cope with my own life. We have a mortgage, and need to save for retirement and kids education, so we need 2 incomes. Cost of living shot up, so our money doesn’t go far. We saved some money and started a business, covid came and we lost it all.
we cannot afford a cleaner right now and DH works long hours. So everything is on me. Kids are at that age, where they are constantly messing up and not tidying up after themselves.

We live at the best time ever to be alive, almost all of us is in the top 1% worldwide in terms of income and living standards. People are camping out in tents in horrendous conditions just to get into our country. We have good healthcare available on tap. Entertainment on tap. Free education at primary and secondary level. Seriously I could not care that there are people wealthier than I am where I live. I’ve had serious childhood trauma and very difficult mental health issues that I’ve gotten through so I am absolutely beyond blessed. If I had the chance to live anyone else’s life ever I never would. Gratitude is what gets you through and I am bloody grateful for what I have.

The day I realised that worrying about what others may or may not have, was the day I realised that it doesn’t put bread on my table!

Ive never had a cleaner, I’ve being one along time ago, for extra money and I learnt from that, I don’t want my business gossiped about.

Perhaps put a few items on eBay, I have a couple of very wealthy friends, they go on holiday, come home wash the holiday clothes and sell them on eBay, sometimes for more than they paid for them.

If you set up a business before, and you know exactly why it failed, can you roll it out on a smaller scale?

Hi, sorry to hear about your struggles. Why are you worried about the future? You have a council house and will get benefits due to health issues, SEN kids. What’s the worry about?

Not jealous, judging etc - genuinely curious

OP you probably have things that some other people can only dream of.

Do you have good health?

My mother had polio as a child and could never walk very well. She often dreamed of being able to run and walk.

Did you have both parents growing up?

Many people, including me, wish that they had a father etc etc.

Try to look at what you do have

What?

She has a lot to worry about.

She said she is in bad health.
She said she is in pain every day
And she said she has no partner to help her. That she raises two kids totally by herself.

How could you seriously ask her, "what's the worry about"?

Hope things feel easier soon op, try and get the kids helping and dh helping when he can

Hope things improve. I do know where you are coming from. I know someone that tells her daughter they have a nice mortgage free house from pure hard work. Yes they do work but she got gifted her first deposit. Had an affair and left her first husband in London and got half the house money so she only needed a small mortgage. Remarried and her husband parents died which is sad but got 300k. She is,surprised we need to down size to get out mortgage down.

*FINANCIALLY

She has to worry financially, Because she can't work, she has no partner to help, and she has to pay to look after two kids?

Anyone that I know that is on benefits, definitely is not rolling in money

For those saying “I’d rather have good health” ,

do you realise, having a lot of money doesn’t necessarily mean poor health?

nor do all non wealthy people have good health.

Money And health are absolutely independent things.

We are talking about jealousy.

The point is that you are saying that you are jealous of others, for having more money than you.

When we could say to you, that some people could only dream of the life you have. Of having your good health.

It’s always tough when you come to the realisation that life is not fair :(

Your dc will finish gcse soon in few weeks.
Then they can buck up and start helping in the house
Cook clean washing their own etc clothes

I'm also trying to show you that money is not everything.

Some people can only dream of a loving family.

Or having a loving partner.

Or having great health.

I was just talking to a man who was paraplegic. He couldn't move anything in his body from the neck down. He was in a special wheelchair.

I was talking to him. He said " I'm still happy. I can still watch movies. I can still see the sunset."

I’m sorry you feel like this. Just want to reassure you that you are not alone. I feel I could have written this. I’ve worked hard my whole life. Dropped hours at work when I had children and to take the burden off my husband trying to build a business. Well I’m still part time and 10 years he has barely progressed. I’m earning more than him

Yet alll my friends and siblings married rich people and have a lovely lifestyle.

Can only hope things will get better soon

I am not wealthy at all. But I never begrudge people their wealth. Thing is, if I had a lot of money, I would want to pass it down to my kids. That would mean they would not have to work so hard. Which parent would not want to do that?

why do I not begrudge wealth? Because I want my own loved ones to be wealthy and successful, all of them. I wish I could help them. I would like all of them to be successful, honourably so, and then hand it down to their kids.

I cannot understand wealth envy. If you won the lotto, did you earn it and what would you do with it? What if you inherit say, £100k from a relative, have you earned it? No. Who would then get it, if not your kids, your own loved ones?

Whilst some wealthy people are corrupt, most are not. I despise people who do nothing and continually claim from the tax payer even though they could work, and why? because they literally cost people like me money I can hardly afford thanks to recent events.

Love this attitude!

I have to say that I think op is a bit disconnected from reality.

A woman came on here to say that she can't work because she is in chronic pain, that she has no partner, and she has two children with special needs.

OP then asked her "what could you have to worry about financially".

OP you're extremely lucky for a start that you have a partner to help you in life, and to help you raise your children.

Many men leave , walk away, do nothing to help the children etc

At the moment we get by because I get UC as a single parent, and my child gets DLA. At some stage the kids will hopefully be independent and no longer live here, I’ll then have the bedroom tax to pay on 2 rooms, a massively reduced income, my health is getting worse and due to raising SEN kids alone for the last 2 decades I haven’t had much in the way of meaningful employment, so even if my health does miraculously improve I probably won’t be able to find a job that pays me much more than NMW. I’ll have the state pension when if and when I get to that age, and that will be it. Downsizing is a possibility, but things would still be very tight.

@Bluesky91
Oh the irony in your username.
I'm sorry that COVID took your business, but you have 2 choices you can wallow in your own misery or make changes.
Of course you have time to wash your hair and exercise, you are choosing not to.
Your kids and DH should be helping with the housework, you are being a martyr because it suits your narrative.
You say you've worked hard at school / uni so use some of that motivation to upskill, move jobs, or retrain to earn more income.
EVERY day set aside 30 minutes for yourself build it into your daily routine, even if it's getting off the bus a stop early and walking further to and from work.
Everyone in the house tidies a little each day, or has a responsibility, dishes, hoovering etc.
DH doesn't get away from it because of work, neither do your kids - it's a good lesson to learn that you must juggle life & school, not just one or the other.
Set a timer at the weekend for the length of time you'd have a cleaner say an hour and EVERYONE mucks in, chuck some music on get going then do something after as a treat.
You get one life OP, comparison is the thief of joy!

You asked if you are being unreasonable and the majority of people are telling you ..you are. Yes life is difficult but things will hopefully improve. Your kids will be grown up soon enough. Focus on what you have and your relationships (and get these teens cleaning this is not all on you !). You have no idea what is going on in other people's lives really and comparison is just pointless. I know several very unhappy wealthy people who look like they are living the dream... just focus on yourself.

I work in a role which means I often work closely with ultra wealthy people. What I have learned is that no amount of wealth inoculates you against life’s tragedies - loss of a child, loss of a spouse/partner, incurable illness, painful divorce, serious mental health problems. And often what you see in public is not a reflection of what’s going on behind the scenes, where people are battling really difficult situations that can’t be solved by money and in some cases have been caused by having too much of it.

One of the biggest leveller in life is caring responsibilities , in no other part of the world you can either afford to pay for care for older people or you simply just can't
Most people just have to cut back , cut down working but it doesn't last for ever .The royal family must have paid a fortune for the queen because they didn't have the family to cover it , if you see what I mean .
I have no idea why families don't think about this when comes because they know childcare comes .But they never think old people care comes , but it does and it costs fortune .
You are not alone and never will be .💐

Well that says a lot about you. Why you are looking at others that way. How do you know Pippa M does nothing? Has not she studied, worked, kept up and raising a family with impossible standards? Do you even know how hard and exhausting is keeping the noisy and malignant people away when you are on her position. I do not envy her because having had a small brush with wealthy people. I would rather be free than on the scrutiny of jealous and toxic people. Focus on you and getting better and stop judging without knowing.

A branch of my family is what you would probably describe as 'luckily' wealthy. Or, to be more accurate, their 'lucky' wealth, which came from an inheritance, has helped pay for them to develop and progress a very successful business which allows them to pick and choose when, where and even whether to work. They have a couple of homes around the world and a lifestyle that most would think perfect. However, to begin with, it was all started because they lost other, important members of their family. The money doesn't take away the sadness of that. Despite trying and throws a lot of money at the situation, they remain childless and the money does not take away the desperate sadness that has brought them. And finally, their beloved partner is now terminally ill. The money they have spent trying to improve the length of time they have left is more than most of us could imagine. But it has all been pointless and they are now at a stage where they know they won't be seeing their next birthday, Christmas, wedding anniversary with their beloved partner by their side. I know they would happily give every penny they own and live in a tent in a field if it meant they could save their partner.
If you truly believe that having money makes that situation any better in any way, then I feel very sorry for you.

Edited for typo.