Male carer changing daughter’s nappy

[FirstTimeMummyHK]

AIBU to expect the nursery to tell me in advance that a man has now joined the nursery and will be changing my daughter’s nappy? We have been with this nursery for a while and there were only female carers there. The other day I went to pick up my daughter and there was a man sitting in there and I asked the nursery manager quietly
whether he changes my daughter and she said yes he would do. The nursery manager was very grumpy that I mentioned it. I was very nice and
polite to her. I felt that her reaction to my
question was unnecessarily grumpy. I am part of a religion where it’s quite a big deal to separate men and woman although we are not orthodox. I understand that nurseries wish to preserve equality etc and I am
a huge supporter of
men taking on caring roles. However AIBU to expect to be told in advance that a man would be changing my daughter / taking her to the toilet/ wiping her private area??

Funny how people keep mentioning the vanishingly rare female child sex abusers to divert from the far, far more prevalent male ones.

98% of sexual assaults are committed by men.

No amount of "Ah but Vanessa George" changes that statistic. It just makes you look thick.

'No sane or decent man would put himself in a position where he is cleaning children's genitals'

This is nonsense. There are thousands of men who change their own child's nappy every day. There are thousands of male nurses working with children who do this every day. There are thousands of male doctors who need to check children's genitalia every day.

There seems to be a massive job bias here - that it's ok for male medical professionals to work with girls but a male nursery nurse is less professional so can't be trusted.

If I were an owner of a nursery I'd be very cautious of employing a man for this very reason. That some parents would be concerned.

And before anyone starts saying there are male teachers, male doctors and nurses etc, that's not the same.

They don't change nappies on babies. And if they do, it's in a hospital setting (as a nurse) .

I find it odd anyway that a man would want to work with babies because men aren't usually attracted to being carers of babies, providing intimate care ,other than their own.

In that case why is ok for boy children to be cared for by females?!

Or worse than thick. It's quite sinister. "Look over there at that woman! There's nothing to see here!"

The only reason you remember Vanessa George's name is because she was such a rarity. It's like the man who died (possibly) as a result of turbulence a few days ago. Because it was so rare, it made the news.

96% of jailed sex offenders are male. And it's possible that some of the other 4% are male too — because quite a few transwomen (actually men) have had their offences recorded as women's offences.

There seems to be a massive job bias here - that it's ok for male medical professionals to work with girls but a male nursery nurse is less professional so can't be trusted.

People who work in nurseries are not nurses in the sense of medical training. They are not 'professionals' by the wildest stretch of imagination.

They are usually unskilled and paid the minimum wage. Yes, some take some qualifications but it's a low skilled job on the whole and even the managers and nursery leaders are rarely qualified teachers.

What a load of nonsense.

It really does as it’s not complex data requiring much analysis or interpretation.

This thread is about male staff in nursery's
So people are pointing out that a female staff in nurseries have also ssexuslly abused children

Exactly. If this for real?

I wouldn't trust a man who put himself near young children for work

So that's all male teachers in infant schools, all male paediatricians and neonatal doctors and surgeons, all male physiotherapists, educational psychologists, occupational therapists, speech and language therapists etc who work with young children?

Quite!

Wouldnt they have had to do level three training
Back in my day it was NNEB ,but whatever the equivalent is now ?

Bizarre argument. A male nursery worker is just someone doing their job, in the same way that a male medical professional is.

Please remember these are real people here - this man is simply trying to do his job and there are hoards of screaming MNters with pitchforks bellowing 'Paedophile' for it. Not every man is an abuser you know, and I don't give a flying fuck if that isn't the hysterical typical MN view of men.

Doesn't answer the point that the risk from men - who are more than 98% or paedophiles - is exponentially higher than from women, and constantly mentioning the few (so few they can name them!) women outliers is a diversion tactic. Which leads to the question of why these posters are so keen to avoid the topic of how much risk men, statistically, present.

The massive problem with this is your assumption that male carers will be alone with little girls whilst changing their nappies. No well-run nursery runs that way, whether in relation to male or female carers changing nappies. Nappy changing should always be done in sight of other staff.

The overwhelming number of incidents of abuse on boy children are also perpetrated by men. Arguments on equality aside, facts are stubborn.

Perhaps it's unfair, but I wouldn't be comfortable with this. An adult can kick off if a male health worker is inappropriate, but a baby can't.

@FirstTimeMummyHK i understand that it would maybe concern some people who maybe haven’t come across it before and our children are so precious to us.
I work in education and have several men on the team who also change both sexes. Some of the men on our team are better at their jobs than some of the women and vice versa, as I’m sure would be the case in all jobs. All staff are trained, will have had the same checks to ensure they are allowed to work there. I’m not so sure the issue is the worry is he is a bad person or more, for want of a better word, maybe a prudish issue with the male/female situation. If it is the first, then sadly there are bad people out there both male and female and you can’t trust one over the other due to their sex. If it’s the latter that’s a very personal feeling, to which you are entitled, and I’m not sure anything anyone can say will make you feel better.

There seems to be a massive job bias here - that it's ok for male medical professionals to work with girls but a male nursery nurse is less professional so can't be trusted.

Not really. Unfortunately, predators of children will sometimes seek a job that enables them to work closely with them. To work in a nursery doesn’t require years of education and training so it’s actually not a particularly difficult job to get. Well, we’re bloody crying out for nursery staff for a start!

There seems to be a massive job bias here - that it's ok for male medical professionals to work with girls but a male nursery nurse is less professional so can't be trusted.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/health/nurses-nhs-whistleblower-assault-letby-b2414255.html

I would suggest there's evidence that male medical professionals are as prone to abuse as any other man. Here's an article that includes reference to a number of male nurses sexually assaulting patients.