To have not gone over to my neighbour's with her parcel?

[CowboyJoanna]

So the other day, a deliveryman pulled up on the street with a parcel for my neighbour who lives across the way. She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it. None of the neighbours either side of her were in, so the deliveryman brought it over to my house and asked me to take it in for her. I asked the deliveryman to leave a note for my neighbour to come and collect, but I don't think he understood (he was an eastern european bloke with broken english).

Anyway, I kept the parcel in the hall all day, waiting for my neighbour to collect it. But it became abundantly clear the deliveryman had not left a note, because she was sat on the sofa all day. When my DH got home from work, he asked me about the parcel and I explained it was a neighbour's. He said to me "leave it there and if she so wants it she'll come over. The deliverymen always leave notes". So we left it there.

Nothing came the next day. Neighbour was still in the house all day, as always.
But this morning we got a bang on the door.

It was the neighbour, and she proceeded to hurl a mouthful of abuse at me. "The fuck's your problem? Why didn't you bring me over my fucking parcel you cheeky bitch? That was my daughter's fucking birthday present and I was losing my fucking mind over it getting lost". I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

It's not like I opened it or anything, but I'm wondering should I have gone over? I thought to myself, it's her parcel so if she wants it so badly she should've answered the door instead of sitting in front of the telly. And she didn't need to be so bloody rude.

YABU to call her a "slobby stay at home mum", which was unnecessary and un called for

Otherwise, YANBU.

I find it quite passive aggressive you didnt go over when you could have, bizarre really.

Im a stay at home mum. But trust me, you would call this woman slobby too if you took one look at her. Her house is filthy, front garden is covered in broken toys and dumped furniture. She's scruffy and always in dirty clothing, and she spends all day on the sofa.

Put a note in your window or on your door stating “no parcels taken for number xyz” and say no to anyone ringing and asking you to take them in.

You did nothing wrong, so don’t bother to help them in the future.

I mean... "She's a slobby stay at home mum" is a horrible thing to say, and unnecessarily rude.

Her behaviour was awful, too.

But generally I do take parcels over to people when they're delivered to me, because it seems rude to interrupt people's day when you don't know what they're doing. It also solves the issue of it sitting in your house for days, if the delivery person didn't leave a note.

Unless you are a delivery person, the onus is on the parcel’s recipient to collect it, surely?!

So she had a note from the delivery guy but just couldn't be bothered? Lazy woman.

How (the fuck) do you know when she sits on the sofa??

I agree with PP refuse to take anymore parcels in.

She got the note but was going out of her mind thinking the parcel had got lost? FFS you can't argue with that level of batshit.

I don't know why you wouldn't just take it over, are you looking for an argument?

Order yourself some binoculars, so you can watch her on the sofa all day

Because she lives across the way. And through her window I can almost always see the back of her head propped on the sofa everytime I look out the window.

How do you know she spends all day on the sofa?

I'd be closing my curtains if I were her.

If her garden was lovley and she dressed well would you have taken her parcel over?
She was very rude and no way would I ever take in a parcel again for her but you should stop judging her

She behaved badly, yes, and absolutely should not have been abusive towards you.

But I find your judgement of her really unpleasant as well. How do you know this isn’t someone struggling with a severe depression (for example)? Maybe just try to be a bit nicer - I’d probably have taken it over because why not?

I think you referring to her as a "slobby stay at home mum" is going to influence the responses you receive, OP. It does give the impression you think you're better than her.

Otherwise, you were not unreasonable. It's her responsibility to come and collect her parcel. Your kindness was taking it in for her. You know not to do that in future.

My only concern would be what will happen to any package she takes in for YOU.

What's the problem with the op knowing about the neighbour sitting on her sofa all day? I know when the neighbours across the road do the washing up, their kitchen window is right in front of mine.

I always bring parcels over to the other party same evening they've been delivered, just because I prefer doing that to waiting around for a knock on the door.

There's no hard and fast rule but she's obviously a bit of a twat if she behaved that way. I wouldn't take parcels for her ever again. You're not obliged to.

And further to pp's comment I would make sure all delivery drivers know not to leave any of your parcels with her. You don't want to start some kind of drama with her.

How do you know she's 'lazy' and not disabled or chronically ill? (I'm a bit sensitive about this because my neighbours might well think I'm 'in the house all day', but I'm dealing with two chronic illnesses, plus severe anxiety and depression, and looking after a poorly teen, while working almost full-time hours from home).

I'd have just taken it over and knocked at least once. After that, it would have been up to her. There was no need for her to hurl abuse at you though, especially if she'd received the note.

She might have a disability or illness OP

I have to take next doors parcels in cause they never answer the door, to anyone, I can hear them banging about but still don't open the door.

I wait for them to collect it tbh due to them ordering stuff and not opening a bloody door to receive it 😂

She was rude yes, you're also being rude about her. Just refuse next time or don't answer the door if you see them coming to you.

Also I can see my neighbours sitting on their sofa in the living room

i would of done exactly the same .I am in a terraced house and we all take parcels in for each other . I am not a delivery person , we all go annd collect our own parcels. If she couldn’t have got up off her bum to collect it , not your problem . I wouldn’t let anyone speak to me like that, she would of got a mouthful back, and it wouldn’t of been polite

The correct etiquette is that the person for whom the parcel is intended collects it from the house to which it was delivered. And thanks them for accepting delivery.

Your neighbour is a rude cow and absolutely wrong.