To have not gone over to my neighbour's with her parcel?

[CowboyJoanna]

So the other day, a deliveryman pulled up on the street with a parcel for my neighbour who lives across the way. She's a slobby stay at home mum so she was in the house at the time, but for some reason never collected it. None of the neighbours either side of her were in, so the deliveryman brought it over to my house and asked me to take it in for her. I asked the deliveryman to leave a note for my neighbour to come and collect, but I don't think he understood (he was an eastern european bloke with broken english).

Anyway, I kept the parcel in the hall all day, waiting for my neighbour to collect it. But it became abundantly clear the deliveryman had not left a note, because she was sat on the sofa all day. When my DH got home from work, he asked me about the parcel and I explained it was a neighbour's. He said to me "leave it there and if she so wants it she'll come over. The deliverymen always leave notes". So we left it there.

Nothing came the next day. Neighbour was still in the house all day, as always.
But this morning we got a bang on the door.

It was the neighbour, and she proceeded to hurl a mouthful of abuse at me. "The fuck's your problem? Why didn't you bring me over my fucking parcel you cheeky bitch? That was my daughter's fucking birthday present and I was losing my fucking mind over it getting lost". I told her it wasn't my fault because I asked the deliveryman to leave her a note and I assumed she would come and collect it if she so wanted it. But she shouted "I got the note yeah but it's MY FUCKING PARCEL AND YOU JUST SAT THERE WITH IT".

It's not like I opened it or anything, but I'm wondering should I have gone over? I thought to myself, it's her parcel so if she wants it so badly she should've answered the door instead of sitting in front of the telly. And she didn't need to be so bloody rude.

That might be true, but how is that relevant to your story?
The delivery man should have left a card stating where parcel was, but as you weren't sure he understood you and/or she didn't come to collect it, then you might assume she somehow didn't know, and thus take it over to her?
If you really don't want to accept her parcels then don't, but if you do accept them then you do have to make some effort to make sure she get's them (as does she, if she knows where it is).

Putting aside the opinions about the neighbour etc, I will happily take in a parcel for a neighbour. On doing so, I work on the assumption that they were out, hence the delivery driver wanting to leave it with me in the first place.

As such, I don't see it as being my job to sit looking out the window, awaiting the return of the neighbour, so I go about my business and wait for them to come and retrieve their parcel having done my good deed by taking in said parcel. If parcel is still with me after a few days, I will probably go and see if the neighbour knows I have it / give it to them.

In this day and age, it is usually possible to know when a parcel is arriving and schedule it when I will be at home.

OP was rude perhaps but then again she had just been screamed at by someone who could not be bothered to go collect her own daughter's present and rather decided to play a game of chicken on who would cross the road first, so perhaps is venting a bit .

She is seemingly most upset because she had to get off her arse to go collect the parcel from someone who did her a favour. I hope you gave her a mouthful back OP.

I’d have taken it over. It’s easier than someone knocking and chatting which I don’t always want

I don't feel like I've been rude at all? I've just stated what she is. I'd be lying if I said she was a smartly-dressed, polite, clean hardworking woman wouldnt I?

And I was actually very polite and civil with her. Well. Tried to be anyway. Just goes to show it doesnt pay off. And Im sorry for not having kind words to say about a woman who shouted in my bloody face and had a go at me when it was her own laziness at fault

Sofa rage OP!

Really common in slobby sofa mums. And spaniels.

Neither of you are coming off well in that story.

If that’s what you live with then I’m afraid she’s your equal.

This makes no sense: the neighbour says both that she was losing her mind worrying about losing her daughter’s birthday present, AND that she’d received the card so knew where it was.

Both can’t be true… 🤷🏼‍♀️

That's exactly what I didn't get???
I think she was just finding something to get cross about and deflect blame from the fact that she couldnt be arsed to get off her sofa and come round

If you spend that long observing her I might suggest you go and get a job.

Oooh, haven't seen one of these for a while. Its up there with shoes on/ off houses and will run for pages... It will end up in some versions of the two following camps.

1. Those who think the onus is on the parcel accepter to deliver to the parcel expecter. That having taken the parcel in, they will deliver it to the intended recipient at their convenience and how very dare the recipient come and ask for it when they get home etc. Even if they are about to go on holiday for 2 weeks and the parcel is going to be dumped in their hall for the whole time.

1. Those who think the onus is on the parcel expecter and they must go and collect from the parcel accepter at the earliest possible moment. That the accepter has already fulfilled their part of the deal, and been hugely inconvenienced by taking it in in the first place. Even if the delivery service has left no card or the intended recipient has been admitted to hospital as an emergency.

Both positions are extreme, entrenched and intransigent, unable to see a sensible middle ground.

No if I I take parcels for my neighbours I expect them to come and get it or if they take anything for me I will go around and thank them.
I know delivery drivers sometimes don't leave a note though so I would give them the benefit of the doubt if they hadn't been over after a day or so though and take it over.
If it kept happening I would refuse to take anything for them.
Don't take anything for her again, she can deal with getting stuff re delivered.

It's not her bloody Job to deliver the woman's parcel!! If she was kind enough to take it in it was the slobby woman's job to collect it, or answer the door to the delivery man in the first place

Sorry I was trying to quote somone saying op should have took the parcel over

Sorry but I would have taken it over there. It wouldn’t have taken you 2 minutes to drop it round.

She sounds rough yeah, but you deliberately made it worse but being petty

Absolutely this. The op has spun a narrative about this woman being basically Waynetta Slob over a pretty mundane issue. Yes she may just be lazy, or there may be other issues at play (more likely, it’s unusual for someone just to be a ‘lazy slob’ without some sort of back story) but it’s utterly irrelevant. Anyway, she may have been on a rare toilet break from her sofa time and simply not heard the door. I’ve taken in a parcel for my neighbours when their car was on the drive - evidently they were around but didn’t hear the door, I’d not think much about it beyond that. Certainly not start judging their whole lifestyle with the internet.

This may come as a shock for many posters, but yes, people like Wayne and Waynetta Slob are alive and well. I'm a council tenant on a large council estate. Some of my neighbours are the best I've ever known. Some of them stay in filthy pyjamas all day and their houses stink of putrified food and weed.

They usually have at least 4 kids and the younger ones chuck stones at our windows while the older ones like to set fire to things or torture cats. Just for good measure they usually have an XL Bully or similar in their unimaginable shit hole of a front garden which they frequently enjoy kicking the hell out of.

There are so many more delightful activities I could describe but I think it's sufficient to say that people like this have actually ruined the lives and mental health of their decent neighbours.

So, I'm just waiting for someone to call me judgmental. If you do, I really hope you also have to live beside people like this and you know what you're talking about.

Delivery people don’t always leave a note, or leave one with bad instructions. Amazon once apparently deliver my parcel and when I checked the placement it was some random alleyway in the picture! I was also going a bit mad trying to figure it out, turned out to be the neighbours across the way’s side path into their back garden of all places. They also didn’t bring it over, I went all fbi on Google maps looking at where it could possibly be and knocked their door - I didn’t ’kick off’ but wasn’t impressed with either them or the delivery person. Crossed wires happen, missing a knock on the door happens. You’ve just got to be the bigger person, which evidently no one in this particular scenario is capable of.

The woman came and shouted abuse at OP when OP had done her a favour. It's perfectly reasonable for OP to be angry in The circumstances. She doesn't deserve being scolded by you.

Evri in my area don't even bother going round the correct address if they've already been delivering nearby... Happened on multiple occasions, with my parcel being randomly dropped 2 doors down without warning or neighbours across the street one left with us, with driver not even approaching their door. Your neighbour was unreasonably aggressive, but that parcel could end up sitting in your hallway for weeks without her knowing, slobby or not.

Why does it matter wether she is slobby or not?

Who's to say the neighbour would have opened the door to the OP, when she couldn't be arsed didn't open the door to the postman? Then the OP would be trekking back and forth with the unwanted parcel until the neighbour decided she was ready to receive it.

YANBU

Oh dear . Personally, I would have said Go fuck yerself as I threw the package out and slammed the door.

If I didn't want to deal with her knocking my door at God knows what hour, I'd have either refused the parcel, or just took it to her doorstep, rang the bell and walked off.
She was appallingly rude. But you calling her a slob and observing the fact she's in front of the telly? (Were you peering through her windows?) Makes you sound like you don't like her and are a bit judgemental.